To think WTAF at my mothers helpful hints

[KPT083]

So here goes, phone call from my DM (who I love dearly btw), saying I've been thinking.......When little baby arrives, when it's sleeping you should be getting DH's dinner ready and tidying up the house!!

I know I might try and do a few bits (if I feel upto it) but DH says to sleep when lo does, he and I are realists, even tho my well meaning DM is making me feel like I failed already. Obviously I smiled, nodded and said yes mum. I suppose I'm just god smacked.....

I think a lot of the arguments given on this thread are too generalised. Situations vary because babies vary. During my early days with a newborn who woke every hour day and night, and when still recovering from a horrible birth, I will freely admit that dp both worked and did a damn sight more than half the housework. Judge away, I couldn't cope and he stepped up. After a couple of months I was back doing the majority.

If your baby sleeps then it's easy to think mums of babies who don't sleep are being lazy, but it's really hard. I slept any time I had the opportunity, there's no way I'd have missed sleep to wash up, nor would dp have expected me to, as I was getting precious little sleep at night either.

I think most couples just try and work out something that's fair in their situation.

Well, when I had my second, I breastfed and in the first six weeks I have no idea how I'd have looked after a man as well. I was literally pinned to a chair or bed by my nipple roughly seventy percent on the time. The rest of my time was spent with a screaming baby and an increasingly bored toddler who was more than slightly jealous of the noisy nipple attachment I had gained. I could barely leave the house, I was in bed by six at the latest, and everything else fell by the wayside. If anyone had suggested I make them dinner and asked what I had been doing all day because the house was a mess, I might have clocked them in the nose there and then.

As others have said it depends very much what kind of baby you get!!
I find these twee 'dust if you must' poems a bit annoying.
There is a certain minimum of housework that has to be done

YABU

She was trying to help. Mums do that.

Personally I didn't like sleeping while the baby slept. I'd rather enjoy 'my' time when the baby slept whether that meant reading a book or cooking doesn't really matter.

Sleeping during the day makes me feel groggy and shit anyway.

I also think there's a lot to be said for trying to establish a bit of routine in your day (for you not the baby as such) especially if you've gone from career with a rigid day to SAHP.

But eAch to their own.

Oh and once you have more than one child the whole sleeping when the baby sleeps thing is out.

But the woman who got to go to the gym for 2 hours a day definitely doesn't represent the majority experience.

That was me. I needed those two hours at the gym to get me out of the house and give me a bit of sanity and motivation - not to be a gym bunny or anything. DS1 was quite a good sleeper in the day but I never seemed to get a second without DS2 crying and I thought I was going mad. It was a wonderful break until DH came home and helped.

I don't have any family at all who called help. DH's family are either dead or live in New Zealand. I could go for days without speaking to anyone so for me it was a godsend and dirt cheap. (£4 for 2 hours)

I don't know how you can quantify the sentence that it doesn't represent the majority expierence though. You almost had to fight to get a place at the creche and a lot of my friends used a different one as well. When they tried to shut it a huge petition went up and it was re instated. The creche was for children from birth up to the age of 2 and half.