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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

London Childhood

237 replies

daisiessunflowersandtulips · 04/08/2012 14:57

In Laws are adamant we should move out of London when the baby's born. Apparently it isn't a "good environment to bring up children in". which they wouldn't know because they never bloody visit. I am Hmm to this because I grew up in London alright, but they seem to think I was terribly deprived.

Here are the things I missed out on (and which my in-laws always bring up)
-playing in the street. Neither I, siblings, friends, cousins, ANYONE I know who grew up in our parts of London (leafy zones 2-4) ever did this.
-knowing who our neighbours were. Well we knew who the ones on either side were and they didn't have kids. We didn't know any of the other kids to say hello to and frankly that was fine by me.

Here are the things we got
-being allowed to get ourselves to and from school at a younger age than DP and his siblings and other friends outside London because schools comparatively closer, roads busy in a suburban sort of way with traffic lights not an A-road busy way.
-going to wonderful parks to play, Heath, Golders Hill, Clissold Park, etc. Parents came with when we were younger and then we could go by ourselves.
-being able to go to and from friends houses independently by 9 or 10 if if were short walking distance or 11-12 if it were longer walk or bus by ourselves and not have to hang around getting lifts
-loads of museums, cinemas, art galleries with kids stuff on

Now London might not be to everyones taste and I TOTALLY get that. But you're telling me it's worse than some pissy town in the middle of nowhere with no transport links to bring up a child? Seriously?

OP posts:
JumpingThroughHoops · 04/08/2012 15:01

Londoner here.

I often look at some of the pretty villages, 8-10 miles outside and think "how pretty" then I think; no street lights, cut off in the snow, no corner shop, nosey neighbours, no choice of schools, no train station .... I cant think why anyone would live in the back of beyond - and thats only 2 stops down the train line!

Olympia2012 · 04/08/2012 15:01

It's a fantastic place to bring up children.....

Mintyy · 04/08/2012 15:03

Yanbu. My children are having a good childhood in London and I see no need to leave.

Original poster
daisiessunflowersandtulips · 04/08/2012 15:03

Don't get me wrong, I understand why as an adult you might not want to live in London (although I would respectfully disagree) but for children I really think the level of independence because of free public transport, good quality (and safe) open spaces, free stuff to do is unrivalled.

OP posts:
JumpingThroughHoops · 04/08/2012 15:04

London has to be the most cosmopolitan, vibrant, culturally rich city in the world!

AmberLeaf · 04/08/2012 15:04

I grew up here (we played out too!)

I choose to bring my children up here.

I'm very happy about both!

valiumredhead · 04/08/2012 15:06

We moved out when ds was 5 - I agree with in laws.

Original poster
daisiessunflowersandtulips · 04/08/2012 15:07

Why, Valium (out of interest - and so I get a glimpse of what DP may be thinking in a few years...)

OP posts:
WilsonFrickett · 04/08/2012 15:07

I grew up in a pissy small town and would have given my left arm to have been in London (or any other city tbh).

Your IL's obviously want you to replicate the childhood they gave to your DP. I suppose that's understandable in a way, but you don't have to take it on board. I suggest a short course of that MN standby:

'Do you mean to be so rude by dismissing our life choices and the city we both love?'

CecilyP · 04/08/2012 15:08

I can't see how living in a London suburb can be all that different to living in a similar suburb in a smaller town. The plus point is that you have access to all the advantages that London offers.

JumpingThroughHoops · 04/08/2012 15:09

Or!

Agree with them, and say you are moving to Cornwall (this will only work if they dont live in Cornwall though) Grin

HumphreyCobbler · 04/08/2012 15:09

Well I live in the depths of the country and do not agree with your in-laws either.

Of course children have a good life in London. Millions and millions of them are at it right now.

valiumredhead · 04/08/2012 15:09

As ds grew older the need for more space was apparent as we were in a flat, but moreover the school situation becomes pretty important all of a sudden, primary schools are one thing but secondary is a whole different ball game.

We moved 30 mins out of Euston and have never regretted it for a minute as ds has so much freedom here.

valiumredhead · 04/08/2012 15:11

It's not something anyone can tell you what to do or not to do, you need to reassess the situation once you have your child and see if these things become as important to you as they did to us.

KickTheGuru · 04/08/2012 15:12

We have been trying to move out of London and all reports to all the places we would like to be are that they are "dodgy" or issues with antisocial behaviour.

Funny - thought they said that about where we are now as well Hmm

Each to their own...

Original poster
daisiessunflowersandtulips · 04/08/2012 15:12

Jumping - they don't live in Cornwall but they love it there and would move there if we did which is why it will only happen over my dead body.

Cecily, having seen DP's similar childhood suburb in a smaller town I think its hugely different because of that access and because most smaller towns don't have the same quality or affordability of public transport for kids and teenagers.

OP posts:
KickTheGuru · 04/08/2012 15:13

Sorry we're in London now.

We just want to move out into the commuter belt really

CecilyP · 04/08/2012 15:15

Sorry, I don't think I put that very well. I think a lot of things are more or the same, but there are a whole lot of advantages to being in London.

Original poster
daisiessunflowersandtulips · 04/08/2012 15:17

Hi Cecily, I think I would agree with that. I think there are advantages to being outside London as well (such as the option not to have a mortgage which makes my eyes water, and the option to drive into work and not take the tube) but they weren't things I cared tuppence happny about as a child!

OP posts:
JumpingThroughHoops · 04/08/2012 15:20

London is so vast though. Tower Hamlets compared to Kensington? no comparison. I remember when you wouldnt walk through Islington in the dark without an armed body guard, now it's The place to be.

valiumredhead · 04/08/2012 15:21

I agree jumping

strugglingwiththepreteenbit · 04/08/2012 15:22

I think a lot depends on which part of London! If you can offer your dc a safe neighbourhood with a lot of freedom and good schools there is little to recommend moving out. That's not what living in London means to a lot of people, though.

Denise34 · 04/08/2012 15:25

I would not raise children in London for all the tea in China.

valiumredhead · 04/08/2012 15:25

Moving out and having no mortgage but a bigger home was a big motivater for us!

JoandMax · 04/08/2012 15:26

We moved out of London when DS1 was 16 months purely as we just couldn't afford it!! I miss it hugely and would of been more than happy to stay and being up kids there for all the reasons you state. Luckily we're only half hour out by train so still go back regularly.

But not everywhere else is 'a pissy little town' - where we are now has great schools, loads of stuff to do outside, a real sense of community and caring and I think it's a great place for my DCs.

Different advantages and disadvantages to both......