should I tell my friend about his daughter's drinking or am i shit stirring?

[baskingseals]

my friend is a lone parent. his ex-wife has recently moved abroad. when they spilt up i helped him with looking after the children especially his dd.

she's now 12. i took her camping with us and we went to the shop, and everyone got a little treat. she asked me for a bottle of fruity cider and i said no. i then relented and said ok, but she would have to share it and drink it with the bbq. when we got back she told me that her mum let her have 4 bottles a day.

given that her mum doesn't live in here anymore should i tell my friend?

Bit uncalled for shelley32 ......

no. her dad has residency and has done since they spilt up about 9 years ago. she lives with her dad full time and used to see her mum every other weekend or so. her mum moved abroad a couple of months ago, and she is supposed to be coming over for a week or so in september, but that might not happen. so i don't know if there is anything to be gained from telling him, as his dd now has limited contact with her mum.

baskingseals why did you buy a twelve year old cider? It doesn't matter at all whether she told you later that her mum let's her drink four bottles. YOU BOUGHT SOMEONE ELSES CHILD ALCOHOL for no other reason than they asked!
Will you buy her smack next time? Or condoms? WTAF is wrong with you? And you have clearly been told to tell her father so stop asking or it may appear that you have an ulterior motive to this thread

You shouldn't be OK with the fact you bought her cider.

I don't actually think it was uncalled for. If this irresposible excuse plied my 12 r old child with cider just 'cause she asked for it, I would not be impressed. My emotions are tames as it's not my child. A 12 yr old is a CHILD. This woman is an ADULT. Looking at it legally..she'd probably be in big trouble! Am I really being unreasonable?

why not?

Actually, me 11 year old son has never been given alcohol, but he's going through a phase of asking for it, in a faux-jokey way, so I can almost imagine him doing this. But if he asked a friend or relative of mine I'd be shocked if they bought it.

tamed..damn

my 11 year old

The way you worded your reply was a bit nasty. Obviously the op is wrong for buying the 12 yr old cider but to be honest everyone fucks up sometime. But to say you have no respect for her is a bit of an overreaction.

On reflection, I entirely agree with whoever said that it is more worrying that she asked for alcohol in the first place at her age, rather than any potential harm done by some cider.
Stupid question: do you think she is aware it is alcohol?? Or just that it tastes nice?

look i am not struggling with my conscience here.

i just wanted to know if i should tell her dad what she told me. still don't really know, as posters are so keen to tell me off they aren't bothered about what could actually be going on with her and her mum.

If her mum really buys her 4 ciders a day when she visits her, I'll eat my own tits.

Yes, tell her Dad and hopefully it will come to light that she was telling lies to try to appear 'grown up'....something many 12yr olds do.

However, many adults know this and don't fall for it.

I would either say nothing or tell him EVERYTHING - I wouldn't be happy if someone bought my daughter alcohol so be very prepared for that!

Boo hoo! killagorilla Nasty is what's needed when it comes to irresponsible adults who act more like kids. What if the child involved was 11 or 10 or 8? Where does it stop? The legal age for drinking is 18. WE ALL drink before then but not usually with the aid of an adult!!

And yes I would be pissed of if someone done that to me but the op says it was 3 gulps not a whole bottle. Tbh I wouldn't be raging at that small amount and would probably have a word with the op to ensure it didn't happen again. If it had been a whole bottle or more then yes I would be furious.

I think you are struggling with it...otherwse why call it "Fruity cider" instead of "cider"

Because "fruity" seems to make it weaker...that's why.

Cider is cider...12 is 12. You were wrong.

I would tell him, but I don't think she's telling the truth.

I think what you did is relevant because you seem to have no trouble thinking the worst of her mother, yet you have behaved irresponsibly yourself but don't acknowledge it

pacific i did think that. what worried me more was that she know all the flavours. i am so out of the loop that when she first showed me the bottle i thought it was a j2o sort of thing. when we were in the tent eating our burgers she told me and my friend that strawberry and lime was the best flavour and the others were horrible.

i agree that she shouldn't be asking people to buy her cider. so how to stop her?

But the kid wasn't 8 they were 12. And there is no excuse to be nasty ffs, gosh I'm sure you have never had a temporary blip in judgement the way you are going on.

Yes, tell him.

"Hi Dave. When I was buying alcohol for your 12 year old daughter the other night, she told me that her mother buys it for her too. Even more than I bought her!"

Words fail me. That you bought alcohol for a child that age is, quite honestly, disgraceful. I'm astonished that you had the nerve to come on here and admit it!

You were out of fucking order buying alcohol for someone else's child. A sip, a cup a whole bloody bottle, I don't care.

I would be livid if this was my daughter. We would no longer be friends.

not saying I wouldn't tackle dds 'drinking' but that would be secondary

are you now saying you bought it thinking it was a soft drink?

worra it is just possible that she may.

OP I think people are annoyed because you don't seem to acknowledge what you have done is wrong. After all it is wrong to buy someone else's kid alcohol.