to have told off visiting child for rudeness?

[olympicmad]

I was watching a friend's kid and together with my two they were all playing happily making cards. On asking what colour card they needed said child retorted "at my house we have more colours of card and it's not a mess like this one"! I was gobsmacked and told her she was being naughty. She's only 4 years old for goodness sake! And for the record my house was tidy with just toys out for them to play with!

I'd have said 'let's tidy all of these toys away then shall we, so you can play with nothing'.

Very rude, and yes I would have told the child off too.

um well she wasn't really being naughty was she?
4 year olds have a tendency to be honest and say what they think.

i would have just said "of course it's messy, it's all these toys you've been playing with"

You should have given her a red card and sent her off

I don't think that's rude for a 4 year old - it's entirely descriptive

She won't have any idea unless someone tells her about social niceties. Perhaps you should have explained that to her.

I would have pointed out that it was rude to comment on the tidyness of someone else's house but not really 'told her off.'

Small children may state the obvious (not saying your house is untidy) without realising that it's rude.

4 year olds tend to be truthful rather than rude

Most 4 year olds have manners and would know that what they had said was cheeky.

That's the thing. I felt guilty that I'd said she was "naughty". Rude yes but naughty implies she was being malicious or something else.

Sorry, x-post.

I agree with LaurieFairyCake and thisisyesterday

YABU

4 year olds say it as they see it. I think you were actually the one with the issue, have a sense of humour and a thick skin.

your house may well be a shit tip

i wouldnt have said that was naughty. She probably wasnt making a value judgement, just being descriptive

I'd have said to her if the mess bothered her that much she was welcome to clear up the toys. She's 4, I doubt she actually meant to be rude when she said that. The idea of tidying up all the toys by herself would shut my 4 year old up!

Explaining that it upsets people to tell them their house is a mess might have been better. Add that you're sure she wouldn't want to upset anyone, as she's so lovely and kind.

Really squeaky? On which planet is that?

I would wonder why you chose 'naughty' and not 'impolite'.

You could have asked her to elaborate and then explained what what she said wasn't nice.

I think this calls for a....

YABU

ffs can you stop doing that? fine on threads about blank posts, but on things that people actually want to read and comment on it's incredibly annoying.
have reported so MN can remove

Why do you keep doing that BuntCadger? I keep thinking MN is broken!

I've reported too. It's ridiculously annoying.

Anyway, I wouldn't have told the child she was naughty, but I would have told her that what she said was rude and likely to lead to her not having anything to play with.

My DS asked a 'friend' someone who lives on my friends street who plays with ours outside "why his house is so messy"

I told DS if wasn't a nice thing to say as it could hurt his feelings. (DS has poor social communication btw so is slightly behind his peers with social nicities) BTW this boys house is messy (think Kim and Aggie) - and my friend and I are concerned about him.

DS replied "well he wasn't offended". Not the point DS.

Children need guidence to be told what may hurt someones feelings - they tend to speak now and think later. I would perhaps feel sorry for a child who isn't used to having toys out to play with and the messyness look that goes with this.

she was being honest that is her opinion

my ds is 4 and is always being a little too honest. he knows when to say please and thank you (most of the time) but at times will stun me with his brutal honesty mummy you have a fat tummy

It was also in the context of competitive behaviour of the type, I can cycle the furthest, write the best (I got told off for my bad writing), etc... I don't know but it came over as quite a bitchy comment. But maybe I do have ishoos. It crossed my mind that they may not have been her words but that of her mother...