to have told off visiting child for rudeness?

[olympicmad]

I was watching a friend's kid and together with my two they were all playing happily making cards. On asking what colour card they needed said child retorted "at my house we have more colours of card and it's not a mess like this one"! I was gobsmacked and told her she was being naughty. She's only 4 years old for goodness sake! And for the record my house was tidy with just toys out for them to play with!

Your rude child is an attack on the child, not on me.

I am teaching him respect for other people. he often says things and displays that he thinks of others, just in this particular moment, he said something as it popped into his head, doesn't mean he does it all the time.
His teacher says she has observed him being kind and thoughtful of his peers and the adults in the class.

If it makes you feel better I retract my comment that he is a rude child. He just behaves in a rude way and you are behaving in a rude way by continuing to let him insult other people and their property.

Silvery, I'm sure he's lovely but again, it's really important to keep that kindness and thoughtfulness and we get that from learning about other people's reactions. My friend's little girl is adorable and was here this afternoon - she completely unintentionally really hurt my cat, just trying to cuddle him. It isn't rejecting her to say, "No, sweetie, don't hurt the pushcat, stroke him like this!"

She wasn't being naughty, she just needed gentle guidance on how to stroke "pushcat" (that's what she calls him - I love it!) Same as your DS, I believe he wasn't being naughty or rude but he did need guidance on what was appropriate and so did the DC in the OP's example. I feel that when we say "they're only 2/4/6" we absolve ourselves. Children aren't born knowing how to behave - they learn from us and if we don't tell them, then lovely children grow up to be horrors! And I should know - I teach the little buggers!

No, I do not think they will feel rejected if I comment on anything they do, I just didn't think that that incident needed any thing else to be said or done by me at the time.

Ok, maybe I worded that wrong in my hurry at typing. Rejected was possibly a strong word to use, what I mean is that I am trying to make sure they know that I want to listen to what they have to say regardless of whether it's 'nice' or not, that no matter what they say I will listen.

Anyway, I'm going to continue parenting my child as I see fit and in years to come, if he is a complete fuck up, I will spend the rest of my life blaming myself and looking back at his upbringing trying to pin-point where I went wrong.
But if he continues to grow into a well-balanced person who is confident in his opinions and learns how to express himself appropriately, I won't ever give this a 2nd thought.

We all do what we feel is best at the time, sometimes we get it wrong and sometimes we get it right. Often we won't know which until it's too late to change.
or is everyone here perfect apart from me?

Mountains out of molehills.

I am perfect Silver
I'm sorry you felt attacked. It probably felt like an ambush.

I am obviously perfect ;)

I do feel a bit miffed to being told I was ambushing another poster, though.

Personally I feel I was perfectly polite

One persons honest opinion is another persons rude.

Yeah, a bit.
Nevermind. Nothing like a healthy debate on a friday night.
But look at that 8pm, wine o'clock I think.
cheers

I was mainly talking about myself Defence.

Hey, ho. I think I've said everything I needed to.
I'm just doing what we're all doing. Trying to get it right.

Sorry LookBehindYou - probably feeling a bit prickly

I lose all respect for people calling and saying under 5 year-olds bitches or being bitchy.

It's not excusing them because they're 4yo, it's understanding they don't 'get' it may be highly offensive what they're saying. You need to guide them towards considering how someone will feel about what they're saying - telling them it's naughty to say X doesn't help them stop doing it - a 4yo will just think that sentence itself is naughty iyswim?

Well said usual as usual

Children aren't born knowing how to behave - they learn from us and if we don't tell them, then lovely children grow up to be horrors! And I should know - I teach the little buggers!

Agree!!!!