I would like my 3 year old grand-daughter to stay with me for one night, but my daughter in law says NO, AIBU?

[redyam]

I bit of background, this is not me, but I will write as though it is, for a friend.

I sea my grand-daughter every few weeks, we live about 100 miles away from each other. We either go down to my sons house or they come up to stay for the weekend.

We all get on really well, my grand-daughter is delightful, and behaves as good as gold whenever we spend time with her or go out for trips.

I would like to take my 3 year old grand-daughter on an overnight outing nearby. We will take her out for the evening (not late) without the parents, spend the night with her, then bring her back to her parents the next day.

I think it will do her the world of good, give me some quality time with her, and give her parents a night off to do what they want. I'm sure my GD would love it.

However my daughter-in-law says NO! No reason given, to flat out refusal. I'm a little hurt really, as though I can't be trusted with my grand-daughter.

Am I being unreasonable to want to do this, or to feel hurt?

You're trying far too hard lovebunny, just calm down a bit

Ineed - maybe you're right, maybe I am. The fact is we don't know and since the OP hasn't returned, I suspect we never will !

If my mother had ever said something similar to me, I'd have been really fucked off. But tbf that says more about our relationship than the expression itself.

Mine have been being farmed out since 3 months old, yawn oh well im the bad parent.
Why is it so hard to think grandparents might actually like there dgc and like doing things and spending time with them.

50shades - who exactly is displaying "entitlement"?
The OP's friend (or the OP!) is just asking and is a bit hurt. I'd have been hurt too even though I'd have accepted it.
It's understandable to be hurt- are you a Granparent yet?

So I'm guessing you would never ask or expect a grandparent to babysit - because that would suggest a sense of being entitled to ask, no?

FolkGirl i hadnt even realised, to much since its my thursday

I've been having my DGS to stay over since they were a few months old.

My DD just drops and runs

Where has the OP gone? I'd like to know whether she has a massive dog, smokes 50 a day, and has an inappropriate live-in lover that might be putting her DiL off....

YABU, I think. DIL is mum and gets the last word IMHO.

I don't get the "mum of boys" drama either. 99% of people on MN are women. Chances are they are more comfortable with their own mother (obvs there are exceptions). If 99% of KNees were men, we might hear about their MIL's.
On the subject, the DIL prob just feels the child is young and it's not neccessary. Even if the father would be happy, I think the person who is uncomfortable gets the veto.

Is the OP the Grandmother?
Will the DIL relent?
Does the son ever have an opinion?
What is The Outing?

Will we ever know?

Who knows?! but being on here whilst watching The Shining in the dark, on my own, means that I can enjoy it whilst being distracted enough to not be terrified!

My mind had blocked out that the old lady corpse in the bath sat up. Nice!

and 3 is not to young to stay at their grandparents house overnight.

We managed to bring up our own children you know.

Salmotrutta I will be wondering all that later before I go to sleep LOL

YABU, I think. DIL is mum and gets the last word IMHO

See I think that depends on what sort of relationship the parents have

If it's an equal one and they do just as much looking after the child as the other one, I don't see why someone should get the automatic say just because they happen to be 'Mum'.

I also would let my parents have mine overnight, but not my IL's, because of certain behaviours and house issues. We see them when we are with them. I would not give the PIL's my explanation because it would be hurtful.

Ah, the second best Grandparent thingie.

Explains it all.

You are watching The Shining FolkGirl??

What, on your own and everything?

"I'm Home!"

Oh actually, It's "Here's Johnny!" isn't it?

Folk girl do not click on imaginary friends thread going on since your watching horror films.

Ineed too late!

I am Salmotrutta DH is a wuss and as soon as he saw the twins announced he was off to bed! hmph.

Oh I didn't like that imaginary friends thread!

The grandma is being U if she keeps pushing on this issue. I agree with the people who said they don't get why GPs can be so desperate and obsessive about special time alone with the kids - it's not like a prize to have them all to yourselves My mum often goes on about when will my Dsis allow her DCs (oldest just turned 4) to come and stay on holiday for a few days, and moaning how unfair it is that she doesn't send them, but I know my sister has told her that they are too young to stay over night and she doesn't watnt to do it - not sure what is so hard to understand about it but my mum does not seem to accept that it is up to the parents! She is U and this granny in the OP is U but it appears to be a common problem!

Your friend has asked and been told no and refuses to listen. They're being petulant. Children aren't toys or accessories to be shown off. I see my similarly aged niece much more frequently than your friend sees their grandchild and it would never occur to me to demand that I have her overnight.