To TTC even though it is going to really annoy BIL and SIL?

[curiousgeorgie]

My DD is almost 22 months. Since she was about 9 months old I've been TTC, have managed to conceive a few times but all have ended in miscarriage.

I had such a plan for perfect age gaps, the month my baby would be born etc, but now I realise how stupid that all was and just so desperately want a baby.

My DH's brother and his girlfriend are currently expecting, and have a wedding booked abroad for next year where my DD is bridesmaid and my DH best man. When I conceived 7 months ago, it was a very similar due date to future SIL so we told them we were also expecting... And obviously when I miscarried had to share that as well, so they are aware we are ttc.

We're in the sort of time zone now where if I get pregnant in the next couple of months I'll either be too pregnant to fly, or have a very new newborn when we're due to go abroad for the wedding.

They've asked us to stop trying for a couple of months so that this doesn't happen, but I really don't want to. I've already had a year plus of hell and heartbreak and it could take me years more to conceive again. (if I ever do.)

AIBU to risk that we wouldn't be at the wedding?

First of all, I'm very sorry to hear about your miscarriages, this must be a very difficult time for you.

I haven't read the whole thread, but this happened to us, in reverse. DH's brother lives in the US, they see each other once every couple of years but they're very close - they speak on the phone almost every day. BIL was DH's best man. SIL got pregnant a few months after we announced the engagement (by which time we had booked more or less everything) and was to be 9 months' pregnant around our planned wedding date. So we postponed our wedding by three months or so to ensure that at least BIL would be able to fly over - which he did. For DH, getting married without his brother there was unthinkable, so I can see where your BIL is coming from. On the other hand, if you get pregnant and if it's important for them that you're there, then they need to rethink their plans. I admit to feeling a bit teary that I had to undo everything and find new dates etc, but at the end of the day, it was more important that my DH had the most important people in his life with him on his wedding day, than a bit of inconvenience for us and the fact that I couldn't get peonies for my bouquet because they weren't in season.