To cringe a little bit when GPs say 'thank you' for grandchildren?

[IcouldstillbeJoseph]

I understand the sentiment of course, i just feel this is a slightly weird thing to say.
Why 'thank you' as if it was a present, just for them.
Maybe it's just because my PIL are vile said this...

I do wonder if some ILs say/do the wrong thing though as they are trying to make sure that they aren´t left out?

My MIL called herself "2nd best Grandma"-before PFB was born!

But when I invited them over in the week to see just me & PFB they never came

Preferring a w/end so that they would have longer with my husband as well.

Thing is, the weekday visit was offered as well as the w/end!!

YABU

I have no doubt that becoming a grandparent is just as overwhelming as becoming a parent, albeit in a very different way. Most people don't tend to make lengthy speeches explaining and expressing the minutia of their feelings.

'Thank you' covers a whole host of emotions - we're happy, proud, glad for you, thankful you made it safely through the birth, acknowledging what you went through to bring the child into our family, happy you are sharing the moment with us, awed by seeing our child become a parent etc etc

All the things that people probably feel but wouldn't come right out and say. But 'thank you' covers it pretty well.

I doubt they mean anything offensive by it, but it does seem a slightly odd way to phrase things. 'Congratulations' would be more appropriate!

Let's face it - if you don't like your PILs, then you're not going to like a 'thank you' card from them, because you don't like anything they do.

There is nothing intrinsically wrong with the sentiment.

I've never heard of someone saying thank you because you're proud of them.

Thank you in this case means thank you for giving me children.

But then there are always those who jump on the dils are always wrong and mad etc.

Grandchildren I meant to say.

If my parents or pils said this to me, I wouldn't be at all offended but I would say that I didn't do it for them. They became gps by default, not because I wanted them to have gcs.

So thank you would be a daft thing to say.

I don't like it because it sounds as if DCs are your possessions -however you can understand the sentiments so I would just let it wash over me. We all say things that are not exactly sensible if analysed.

It is a bit weird. I can understand the sentiment behind it but 'thank you' is the wrong phrase.

When you got married did anyone's parents say 'thank you for giving me a son in law'? Of course not.
What is needed is something more like "I am happy for your (daughter/son) happiness and welcome to the family newbie (in-law/grandchild)"

YANBU. my PIL are also vile, and also did this. When DS was born they sent us a new baby card that thanked us for their grandson, made no mention of congratulating us, the actual parents, then didn't bother to tell anyone he had been born even though we asked them to. When we started sending baptism invites their family and friends were ringing us saying "but we didn't even know you'd had a baby!". Not that grateful then!

This reminds me a bit of a work colleague who used to keep saying 'oh good job', 'thank you for doing that' etc

Er, no. I did it because it's my job. You're not my boss or senior to me, and talking like you are doesn't make it so.

'Thank you' isn't always nice, though since it's officially a 'polite' thing to say it's difficult to complain. Not sure I'm even explaining well here, but it used to really wind me up!

Tbh I think some of you get insulted over nothing.

I dread being a MIL if this is what happens when you try to be nice. I know some are absolutely awful but some aren't. If they're trying to be nice, just let them.

Who is insulted? People are just saying it's odd.

I said 'wow' over the 'providing us with...' comment. More bemused than anything.

My eldest is now 15. My parents have always made it very clear how joyful having grandchildren has made them and the energy and excitement they have brought into their lives. Recently my mum said thankyou for allowing them to 'share' my children. I don't think that is odd - it's an acknowledgement that we have welcomed my parents involvement in our children and not begrudged it.

I think it's a bit weird. Kind of like they think you had the kids for them ...

Then again, I find the whole issue weird: people waiting with bated breath for grandkids, being disappointed if they don't get them, etc. A friend once told me how her parents were 'begging' for grandchildren and I just think that's really abject, not to mention huge pressure on their children

I think it's a couple/person's business if they have kids or not, and not for anyone else to comment on.

my mum always says thank you so much for giving me such a gorgeous little grandson. Mainly cos she thought Id never crack on have any kids and she loves him to bits. I think its quite a nice thing to say

Come on, YABU! My MIL was, and still is 2 years later, completely adoring when she saw DS for the first time. She was so cleary in love with him, I nearly cried! She said thank you and it was very touching.
Why do people feel the need to denigrate lovely sentiments like that, I'll never know!

YANBU. I would definitely find it weird if when I had my first child one of the GPs said this to me. You don't need to "thank" me for anything, I didn't do this for you! You never entered the decision process.

"Congratulations" is much more appropriate!

It doesn't IMO you did it for the GOs at all! When my Dad said it to me, I was very moved. It's not thank you for GIVING me a GC but for making me so happy, sharing this moment, etc.

And DH gave me a ring to thank me for having our first child and I love it!

You know, there are some things you can just over think waaaaay too much.....

Yeah... I wouldn't be keen on getting jewellery to 'thank' me for 'providing' a child, either. I'm not a brood mare, and it would make me feel like one. Each to their own, right?

Being given a 'thank you' present by DH seems a lot worse to me, he is an equal parent. I think that 'thank you for giving us grandparents is better than 'thank you for sharing them' as if you own them! I am not my mother's to 'share' I am a person who can make my own relationships - from a young age - the mother may not like her MIL but her DC may love them to bits.

If my DH gave me a present ( which he didnt sadly) I would think it was more for carriyng the child and going through labour etc...

My PILS have been so horrid to me and taken so much for granted, I would have really appreciated a thank you - my DD was almost snatched from arms at hours old and MIl pretends DD is DSIL and DH child with none of me involved in any of it!

Odd maybe - but when you have had no recongition AT ALL, a thank you moves up scale as at least ....something!

To all of you who think it's weird, are you a grandparent?

No-I did say that you just have to let it wash over you, we all say silly things that don't bear analysing! I would just let it go and not point out that your child isn't a possession that you share!