To cringe a little bit when GPs say 'thank you' for grandchildren?

[IcouldstillbeJoseph]

I understand the sentiment of course, i just feel this is a slightly weird thing to say.
Why 'thank you' as if it was a present, just for them.
Maybe it's just because my PIL are vile said this...

I get the creeped-outness, because some of the cards make it sound as if the DIL specifically gave birth in order to 'provide' them with a grandchild, but frankly, I'd prefer it to my MIL's attitude.

I 'provided her with' her eleventh grandchild (my first baby) a few months ago, and I was recently shown an expensively shiny album of photographs of the first time she and her side of the family met the baby. Out of forty photos, I appear in three (large group ones), the first ten are of her holding the baby with an air of triumph, and the album has written on the cover 'Grannie's New Arrival'. Grr.

I'm adding this to list of polite fairly innocuous things people do/ say that I never once thought could possibly cause offence until I started reading mumsnet

My pils sent my flowers after I had my dc and said thank you on the card.
I thought it was quite sweet at the time tbh.

I think it totally depends on your relationship with the GPs. I can see that if you had a good relationship, and it was said genuinely, then it would be really lovely. If my mum had said it to me (not likely - she was on to GC number 4 by this time) it would have been really nice.

However, if you have quite controlling or interfering or more distant GPs, especially in-laws, then it can come across as asserting an entitlement or right - that this is something you did for them, and they have some ownership or say in the upbringing of your kids - and then it is not great.

My parents in law were beside themselves with joy each time I've had a baby - I'll never forget the look on my mother-in-laws face when she came to see dd1 in the hospital. She was completely and utterly in love and has been with each of her subsequent grandchildren. When she handed dd1 back after a cuddle she whispered thank you and I thought it was the most heartfelt thing I'd ever heard.

Some people just look find offence at everything and anything that takes their fancy

wigglesrock - that is just lovely and for the first time ever, your post has brought a tear to my eye!

My MIL was the same and has always been so grateful for her gc's... I think it bodes well for their relationship tbh - i know my dd adores her nanny and the feeling is more than mutual so why not get a bit of kudos for it

Ugh.

YANBU

Human being s are not provided for your enjoyment.

It is weird, isn't it? I got a "thank you for our grandson when ds1 was born, his sister was 3 years old at the time and it seemed very pointed.

The sentiment is lovely. How can it be offensive? I would be grateful for a nephew, a grandchild etc - very precious. Of course I didn't have DD for my parents, but it does mean a lot to me that they are thrilled and she makes them happy. Especially as they are older and will probably not live to see her grow up.

MIL said thank you to me when DD1 was born. I thought it was a lovely thing to say. But then I love my MIL.

I think it's quite nice. But, more importantly, please tell me you actually know a couple called Jack and Fanny and you haven't made them up for anonymity.

I don't like it at all - thank you implies you've performed some sort of service (conception, gestation, birthing) for their benefit. Seriously weird.

My parents & an in-laws have been seriously thrilled, excited, amazed etc etc at the birth of each of our children & freely expressed those emotions but I'm happy to say no-one has ever thanked me for providing them with a child

How weird.

We had children because we wanted them.

It happened to make our parents GPs.

We didn´t do it for them, though!

That takes making it all about them to a whole new level!

What wrong with saying thank you?

MN really is anti PILs

Why would you say "thank you" for something that isn´t for you?

Oh sorry I forgot , MN doesn't like GP either.

I think it implies you have dcs to provide gcs for the gps. Very weird perspective.

I didn't have my dcs for anyone else.

See, I see it as a thank you for making them so happy, not for giving them a grandchild as such. My parents and parents in law love my children so much, have the time and patience to sit with them, teach them, listen to them, tell them stories etc and I think that when I had my children they could see that they would play a part in the babys life and that made them happy and "thank you" was just an immediate and natural response.

MN is anti weird, possessive, intrusive and overbearing GPS and PILs.

MN is anti PIL and GP full stop.

it is difficult to express the joy and admiration and pleasure and pride that comes with being a grandparent though

I don't see how saying thank you for something that makes you happy is over bearing and possessive.

What an odd way of looking at it.

We got a 'well done' when we told MIL I was pregnant I found that quite a strange thing to say! Wouldn't be offended by the grateful comment though.