To cringe a little bit when GPs say 'thank you' for grandchildren?

[IcouldstillbeJoseph]

I understand the sentiment of course, i just feel this is a slightly weird thing to say.
Why 'thank you' as if it was a present, just for them.
Maybe it's just because my PIL are vile said this...

Well the GDC is part of the GP, biologically speaking, so it's a fair point.

The thank you I got from GP's just made me want to snatch my baby back in a slightly hysterical pfb induced hysteria. I had just given birth though, was exhausted and very hormonal. Aren't new mothers allowed to be a bit precious when they've just given birth these days?

Your damned if you do and damned if you don't.

No....which is why it's odd to thank anyone! Hence my story about the person on here who'd been given a gift by her DH in thanks for their son!

A more normal thing to say might be something about being glad that you'd met their son and had a baby together...

My last post to Usual.

Well, GPs can't do right either can they?

Express happiness = overbearing and interfering

Don't express happiness = don't give a toss

Nope, that's not true either, Usual. I think you must have read enough on MN to see that many GPs aren't simply happy and grateful - that there are many complex and often negative relationships.

I think it disingenuous of you to imply that if a GP is simply happy then MN is anti that GP.

GP's aren't usually branded overbearing and interfering based on one comment. There's usually a huge backlog of events, comments, tantrums, complaints etc to make people feel the way they do. Particular comments read in isolation may be totally supportive and loving from one set of GP's but just another example overbearing nature of a different set of GP's.

I've read enough to know its not always the GPs fault.

In fact I might pop over to gransnet to read about barmy DILS to redress the balance a bit.

It's not always the DIL's fault either, blame it on the hormones usual.

There are some
Misery guts
In. The world

and for once it isn't me

Yabu

My MIL and I didn't start our well. Having DD has changed everything. DD turned a year at the beginning of the month and we celebrated her birthday in Denmark with the PIL. My MIL thanked me for giving her the gift of grandchildren. She told me DD was her dessert of life. I thought it was very sweet of her to say this. She didn't have to say anything. My SIL is turning 50 next year so she isn't about to provide grandchildren anytime soon.

I think doing it with a card is tacky though...

YABU

I'm with usual here, seems to me a whole lot of fuss over nothing. They've just become grandparents fgs, surely they're allowed to be thrilled and over the moon and feel as though they've been given a gift of sorts, saying thankyou for the honour of becoming a GP is really sweet IMO.

Better that than my inlaws who couldn't give a shit!

I just think its the same as what a father or aunty would feel, the relief that it has all gone well and the happiness that there is a new person to love.

I'm so pleased that my mum and my PIL feel the love and protectiveness that they do for my dc. That they thanked me for them, well it wasn't exactly a walk in the park. Thanks, flowers,champagne and gorgonzola all welcome here. And baby clothes and the love.

I have a small DS and if I live long enough to see him have his own children I would feel so blessed, so thankful, grateful and joyful - and I would hope I could think of a pleasing,non-upsetting way to say so to the mother of DS's baby. I can imagine how the sight of your child's child is a life affirming, wondrous thing.

To see that your little baby has grown up and now had a baby of their own...that your family, your mum and dad and their mum and dad and all the way back in history ... Something of all those people plus the genes and heritage of the baby's mother's family coming together to make a new little person...it must be such an emotional moment.

Of course it's a wonderful thing, an emotional moment etc etc. But to say "thank you" is to suggest the mother did it for you , the GP, when it is almost certainly not the case.

I think the op is not making a fuss about nothing. She is merely commenting on the fact that it is an inappropriate thing to say.
Which it is.

But nobody is saying or even suggesting gps should not feel great happiness about their gcs. That is a leap made by others on this thread.

I kind of understand what you mean. "Thankyou" implies that you have done it for them. OTOH I understand what they are trying to say, everyone says congratulations, this is a more personal way of them expressing themselves, they are chuffed they have become GPs, feel blessed that they have and have you to thank for that

Aw Nap Just seen your post. Brought a tear to my eye, that is what i wanted to say.

I agree with Winky & Elephants.

Of course GPs can be ecstatic/over the moon etc-without the need to say thank you & implying that it was done for them.

But then I can totally imagine, fingers crossed, God willing etc that I will get to see my DC with their own children and if that happens I imagine I will come out with all sorts of emotional stuff without thinking, just because I will be so pleased.

I couldn't possibly be offended by this.

The sentiment is obvious and any creepiness that is being read in to it is only from taking the thank you in its most literal sense.

That's exactly how I felt sinister - my pfb was shiny and new and I didn't want anyone else to touch him let alone plant massive wet kisses all over his face. It has taken me a long time to appreciate what my children mean to their GP's but I do, much more now than I did in those hazy first days/weeks/months when they had first arrived.

Giving birth can be very overwhelming, I didn't really want to be pandering to other people's expectations while coming to terms with what I'd just been through with my DH.

In an effort to please GP's and let as many relatives and friends share the new baby round, a new mother's feelings and emotions seem rather trampled on in a lot of cases.

My PILs have said this, my mum hasn't. It didn't phase me at all as I just knew they completely love their GC and were very grateful to have her in their lives - I didn't overthink it. Were I to overthink it and wonder why they would say this sort of thing and not my mum I'd think it was connected to they're being the sort to attribute things to themselves more than they should.

Hmm don't like my phrasing there, "attribute things to themselves is wrong", I mean connected to how they try to get a lot more involved with things where as my mum is more I will give them space parent.