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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off at DS's nursery?

109 replies

JollyHockeyStick · 23/07/2012 19:25

Ds goes to nursery one full day a week on a Monday from 07:30 until 17:00. He is 15 months. I drop him off in the morning and DH picks him up.

DS has two naps a day. A half hour one at 09:30 and a longer one at 2pm ish. Nursery have this written down and fully explained in great detail.

2 weeks ago he refused his morning nap at nursery. That day I got home very early from work and picked DS up at 1. I had told nursery I'd be doing this when I dropped them off. They told me they'd put him down for his morning nap but he had refused to sleep. Fair enough, these things happen, I said, we have tried moving him to one nap but he's not ready so we're keeping him on two until he's a bit older.

Last week I got home and had a read of his nursery book. He only had one nap, 1.5 hours at 12:30. Dh says they didn't mention anything to him at pick up time.

Today I get home to discover that DS is ridiculously tired and has only slept half an hour all day, from 13:05. They apparently mentioned to DH that he hadn't slept well but that was all.

AIBU to be pissed off that they have taken it upon themselves to change DS's routine after being specifically told that it was that way for a reason?

OP posts:
onebigwish · 23/07/2012 19:26

I think yabu a bit PFB, sorry.

Babies adapt and change and do their own thing.

thisisyesterday · 23/07/2012 19:27

yabu

how do you suggest they force him to sleep?

if he won't sleep at the time you want him to, then what are they supposed to do?

LucyLastik · 23/07/2012 19:28

Doesn't sound like they have changed his routine tbh. It sounds like he wasn't up for sleeping so they have met his needs in a different way. YABU

pigletmania · 23/07/2012 19:29

Yabu children are not robots, he might not have been sleepy, they cannot make him sleep at the allotted time and preferred to drop off at 12.30

McKayz · 23/07/2012 19:29

I think YABU sorry. Babies and toddlers change their naps and there's not much you can really do.

Geeklover · 23/07/2012 19:29

Yabu and what thisisyesterday said.

The can't force him to sleep and I'm sure if they left him screaming to try and stick to your routine you'd have something to say.

ShutTheFrontDoor · 23/07/2012 19:29

My ds would sometimes have 2 naps, sometimes 1, sometimes an hour, maybe 2 hours. Somedays it was 3 hours.
Babies don't always stick to your routines

whackamole · 23/07/2012 19:30

YABU.

He's not the only child they look after you know, if you want 1:1 care and your timetables adhered to, hire a nanny.

Sirzy · 23/07/2012 19:31

Perhaps you can explain how you suggest they get him to sleep when he isn't tired whilst also caring for the other children? I am sure they would love your suggestions!!

DS is older than your son but refuses to sleep at all at nursery but sleeps at home. These things happen, as he is the only one in the 2-3 room who doesn't have a nap I am sure it is more annoying for the staff than me!!

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 23/07/2012 19:31

Next week, remember to supply the tranquiliser so they can ensure your child conforms to your demands.

Roseformeplease · 23/07/2012 19:31

Are you doing contented little baby? In which case YABU. The child should come first, not the routine.

hairylemon · 23/07/2012 19:31

Yabu its a different setting, lots of fun stuff, friends etc.

HolyCameraConfusionBatman · 23/07/2012 19:31

They haven't changed his routine, he just didn't sleep well. YABU.

FannyFifer · 23/07/2012 19:31

Seriously?

YABU

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 23/07/2012 19:32

Have you spoken to them about it? What did they say? DS's pattern is different at nursery to how it is with me - some things they find easier (e.g. Getting him to eat) and some things I find easier (e.g. Getting him to sleep). This has never been an issue as we talk about it.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 23/07/2012 19:33

YABU. Babies do their own thing.

It sounds like he is gradually moving from two naps to one. If you don't like it then pull him out.

LeeCoakley · 23/07/2012 19:33

Yep. A nanny is the only way. How dare they.

spammertime · 23/07/2012 19:35

Sorry but I agree you are BU and rather PFB

Babies don't tend to stick to their home routine at nursery, particularly when they're only out of their normal environment for 1 day in the week. I don't really see what they were meant to do when he didn't do what he was "supposed" to at 9:30.

You will also find that strict routines are very much a luxury that only your first child will have. Once school, nursery etc kick in then subsequent babies have to go with the flow a bit more. It makes them far more laid back people I think!

TheSkiingGardener · 23/07/2012 19:35

DS naps less at nursery because it is just too exciting. I would go and talk to them to try and find out if this is because he doesn't want to sleep, or a set nap time for everyone is more convenient for them. Until you know that you don't know who to be annoyed at.

Fillybuster · 23/07/2012 19:36

YAB massively U and a bit pfb about this.

From his point of view:

PDS goes for 1 day a week. It is (probably) the most exciting day of his week. He knows there's tons of fun stuff going on, and he wants to be part of it. Heck, he's stuck at home (and in his cot) enough the rest of the time as it is....

From the nursery's point of view:

DS turns up for one day a week, with slightly overprotective parents who have firm opinions about naps. Fair enough, but there's a nursery to run, with lots of other children, many of whom are there every day, and who do run to the nursery's routine. At that age, that will mostly involve one long nap in the middle of the day, and an occasional 'top up' for any children that seem very tired. Your ds turns up once a week and clearly wants to participate in whatever is going on. Why on earth would they try to keep him in bed if he's bouncing up and down and wanting to play?

From my point of view:

Get over the pfb thing. Seriously. So what if he's tired one day a week? He's probably having fun and it really won't break him. Seriously, if it bothers you that much, then get a nanny or something for that day, if you need the childcare. You really can't expect a nursery to run everything exactly to your timetable, especially when they're hardly getting much chance to build up a proper 'caring' relationship with your ds.

baconcrisps · 23/07/2012 19:37

Dd switched from 2 naps to 1 around that age. Developmentally ready for it AND fitting in with/copying other children at nursery.
Now she rarely sleeps. Sometimes she's shattered when I pick her up but if she wants to stay awake and play, what can they do to stop her? They have in the past spent an hour striking her hair and soothing her to sleep. But she's 3 now and on cusp of dropping naps so can go without.
Routines do change, just talk to them. You do have to trust them to do what they think is best/right...

anditwasallyellow · 23/07/2012 19:38

YABU babies will be different at nursery to how they are at home. The nursery can't force him to sleep and you should trust them to use their judgement.

You will realise when he's older how little this matters.

scottishmummy · 23/07/2012 19:38

if you need such rigidity and control you won't get it at nursery
either unclench,and accept in your absence things done differently
or velcro son to you in a sling,keep a watch handy so you can exactly time nap commenced

cocoachannel · 23/07/2012 19:39

I'm afraid I also think YABU. Sleep routines change. DD was on one nap long before 15 months. She is at nursery too but I know the staff tried to stick to her routine such as it was but she didn't want we morning nap any longer.

baconcrisps · 23/07/2012 19:39

Striking her hair? That may work actually, may try it next time she won't sleep at night...

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