to be pissed off at DS's nursery?

[JollyHockeyStick]

Ds goes to nursery one full day a week on a Monday from 07:30 until 17:00. He is 15 months. I drop him off in the morning and DH picks him up.

DS has two naps a day. A half hour one at 09:30 and a longer one at 2pm ish. Nursery have this written down and fully explained in great detail.

2 weeks ago he refused his morning nap at nursery. That day I got home very early from work and picked DS up at 1. I had told nursery I'd be doing this when I dropped them off. They told me they'd put him down for his morning nap but he had refused to sleep. Fair enough, these things happen, I said, we have tried moving him to one nap but he's not ready so we're keeping him on two until he's a bit older.

Last week I got home and had a read of his nursery book. He only had one nap, 1.5 hours at 12:30. Dh says they didn't mention anything to him at pick up time.

Today I get home to discover that DS is ridiculously tired and has only slept half an hour all day, from 13:05. They apparently mentioned to DH that he hadn't slept well but that was all.

AIBU to be pissed off that they have taken it upon themselves to change DS's routine after being specifically told that it was that way for a reason?

Sorry I misread the op as full time nursery. Need to clean my glasses!

My DS2 decided naps were for wimps when he went to nursery - I think he just preferred playing to sleeping. He used to sleep in his buggy on the way home then take ages to get to sleep at night.

Ask them to try your routine for a while longer and ask for an update each day on how he is doing. He might prefer a longer snooze after lunch now.

Er I think the OP has got the message!

I never got my hand up my arse about dd nursery routine. I wanted her to nap yes but she wouldn't always - so what. I was more over joyed that her favourite nursery nurse used to cradle her in her lap if she wouldnt sleep in the cot while she watched the other babies. Dd would drop off to sleep on her instead. After I knew that I started to really trust dd's nursery to do their best for her whether they followed my routines or not

Op you have had alot of very good feedback from many experienced parents who have been in your situation. I think you have to accept that yabu. It sounds like its more of an issue then 'time of the month' tbh. Hope it resolves itself.

I think you've had a bit of a hard time here OP. My son is younger than yours, but nursery recently suggested dropping his morning nap (also at around 9.30; I don't think that's strangely early) and I asked them not to as he definitely still needs it when at home. They therefore try to put him down each morning, but if he doesn't sleep they get him up and try again at lunchtime. That's fine with me. I think the difference is that they discussed it with me: YANBU to expect them to talk to you about it; YABU to get cross if they can't manage it.

If it's important to you, I suggest you get to nursery early next time he's going so you've got time to talk to them properly.

I think it's probably difficult for them as he's only there one day a week so they can't possibly have the level of dialogue with either Ds or me that they have with some of the other parents and children.

I think I might give them a call tomorrow for a wee chat. Either that or stay a while on Monday when I drop him off, but they're always pretty harassed then as there's only 3 kids and 2 staff in before 8 and they are doing breakfast. It's a small nursery as it only opened in February. There are only 6 staff members

I'm feeling a bit more rational now. The lack of consultation was mostly what bothered me. Even if they had told me (rather than asked) I would have felt better about it than them not saying anything.

JollyHockeyStick - you could look at this as a good thing - your ds is learning to adapt to different routines and circumstances. To be honest, I didn't have really strict routines with my three dses, and I believe that this made life easier, because they were more able to be flexible.

And your son is growing and changing all the time, so it could be very stressful, trying to keep him in a routine, because as soon as you get something settled, something else will change, and that blows the routine out of the water. Life will be a bit less stressful if you can learn to relax a bit, and go with the flow a bit more - not hurl the routine out of the window, just flex it a bit.

that's unusual, all I've visited have a 2 session a week minimum (can't be taken as a double day) - you're quite lucky to have one that allows one day a week!

i don't think you would be unreasonable to ask them to try and put him down for a nap at 9.30.
i think you should be able to ask them to do that and they ought to accomodate it.

maybe they have been trying and he just won't sleep? I don't know, but I think having a chat with them would be a good idea just so that you know what they're doing with him

It is good, Silky, because we work 45 minutes from home and the nursery is near our home then a half day session is pointless if we want to get work done. Ours allows as little as one half day session a week.

Yes, I will call them tomorrow and ask for clarification on what they're doing, calmly :) if they haven't been trying to put him down for the morning nap then I will ask that they try for a couple of weeks and if it doesn't work then abandon it.

There are children there much younger than DS who presumably still nap more than once, and he is in a room with 0-2s so it shouldn't be too difficult, but if it is and they explain to me why it doesn't work with their routines then I'll take that on board.

if you're overall happy don't fret about something so minor
nursery is different from home,and you go with flow
and yes exhausted from nursery is the hoped for result.it's what I pay for

Really? If you know all the answers in making DCs sleep, I am waiting to hear your wisdom!!

They change, they especially change with changes in child care!! Get over it!!

All they can do is pop him in the cot a couple of times a day really

Ds just puts his fingers in his ears (unsure why) and bellows!

Does he sleep in a blacked out room as well?? Sorry I think YABU. Nursery/ day care is different to home and they have different levels of stimulation so you can't expect them to sleep at the same as home. It's good for children to be able to adapt to different things, it does them no harm to fit in your life, rather than you in theirs.

Yup, as I said a couple of posts up popping him in the cot a couple of times a day is all I'd like them to do. Or tell me why it doesn't work so I know why they're not doing it.

They have a separate room at nursery with the cots in. It has a window but it is high up so the small children can't see in or out, just the adults. He is not in the same room as those playing.

But saying to put him in a cot and leave him to talk to himself or whatever else won't necessarily work if other babies are sleeping in that area.

I think you need to accept that home routines rarely translate into a nursery routine.

There is only so long they can leave him in there away. Even gina hardcore ford wouldn't leave him ages!

I hadn't considered that, Srizy, you are right.

Sorry, Sirzy, not srizy

They did tell you, that's what the nursery book is for.

I think you are expecting too much from a nursery. It sounds like you want your ds to have more individualised care, and no matter how well meaning the nurseries intentions, it's just never going to happen that they can meet every child's individual parents wishes.

Maybe you should think about a different type of childcare that will suit what you want better.