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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask that my dad doesn't do this

150 replies

two2blackcats · 23/07/2012 15:34

My dad has my DDs 2 days a week and when the weather has been nice which admittedly hasn't been often he takes them to a sort of sprinkler fountain in the city centre, and has them run around naked.

I really, really don't like it and have asked him not to but he just gets huffy and thinks I am being ridiculous.

AIBU? I probably am but I can't help how I feel about it.

OP posts:
DanyTargaryen · 23/07/2012 15:35

Your children, your rules.

hairylemon · 23/07/2012 15:36

How old are they?

Sirzy · 23/07/2012 15:37

Wouldn't bother me but if you don't like it tell him not to

Onthebottomwithawomansweekly · 23/07/2012 15:37

Can you send swimming togs and towels and ask that as a compromise he uses them? It does sound like a lovely thing to do with them. What ages are they?

NewMummy48 · 23/07/2012 15:37

I also would not be comfortable with this, Your DF should respect your views and not do it.

They are your children.

Original poster
two2blackcats · 23/07/2012 15:39

They are 3 and 1 so only babies.

I really don't want to sort of condone it by giving him swimsuits, plus he'd just strip them then dress them in public anyway.

OP posts:
BedHog · 23/07/2012 15:41

Is it a sort of playpark with lots of children running around in swimming costumes/naked, or a decorative fountain outside the local shopping centre? If the former, ask him to use swimming costumes. If the latter, that is a little bit strange to say the least.

Original poster
two2blackcats · 23/07/2012 15:42

the latter but it's a sort of fountain on the floor, quite hard to explain! Children do run through it in hot weather but not naked. Hmm

OP posts:
Journey · 23/07/2012 15:50

I wouldn't like it either. If you don't want to do the swimming costume thing why not tell your dad that you've put a spare pair of pants in the bag for after the water fountain, since hers will obviously get wet since you want her to keep them on. From your dad's perspective he may take to that better since it doesn't seem like a hassle of having to change them into their swimming stuff. You could provide a swimming nappy for your 1 year old and tell your dad it would be best if she put this on in case she pooed!

AThingInYourLife · 23/07/2012 15:50

If you want your children fully clothed in public at all times, then either look after then yourself, or pay someone to look after them.

And your Dad is right, you are being ridiculous.

MothershipG · 23/07/2012 15:52

I think YABU - a little bit, what exactly are you worried about? What do you think will happen if your children are naked in public? I mean that as genuine questions, not belittling your feelings.

But as other posters have said bottom line is your kids, your rules and your DF needs to respect this or accept that his time with his GDs will be curtailed.

TheMonster · 23/07/2012 15:53

I would not be pleased at all and would tell him not to do it.

BarbarianMum · 23/07/2012 15:56

There's one like this in the centre of Sheffield. In the summer it is full of children - fully-dressed, in pants, in swimsuits, naked....

Ultimately you can dictate this, but I think the idea that you would object to such young children being changed into swimwear in public strange sad.

5inabed · 23/07/2012 15:56

I would hate this! My sil lets her kids run about naked beside the paddling pool at mils in the summer and I know they think I am a prude but I don't let my 3 do it. The house is right beside a busy road and they run about in a sort of unfenced in bit. It makes me uneasy, like the childs dignity is not being respected. Outside a shopping centre is just weird though. YANBU!

Original poster
two2blackcats · 23/07/2012 15:57

AThingInYourLife - My Dad wants to have them. I work 2 days a week and to be honest I would prefer them to go to nursery, but he gets upset if I mention it and to be fair they do love going to Grandad's, so ... Hmm

Mothership I suppose for much the same reason I wouldn't like to be naked in public, I feel a little embarrassed that my children are being displayed in this way. Obviously they are too young to know any different, but I do. In any case, it's a town centre, so not the same as them being naked at a park or a beach (I'd still have them in pants or a swimming nappy) I have suggested they just wear old clothes but every time they are stripped down Hmm

OP posts:
WheresMyCow · 23/07/2012 15:58

I think I know what kind of fountain you mean, it sounds like the one in Liverpool.

YANBU - I wouldn't be happy about it.

Original poster
two2blackcats · 23/07/2012 16:00

yep - liverpool :)

OP posts:
LadyClariceCannockMonty · 23/07/2012 16:02

I don't think your kids are being 'displayed' and TBH I find your attitude prurient and not a little sad.

Graciescotland · 23/07/2012 16:03

We have one of those fountain things like a strip of jets in a line that shoot water straight up? I've never seen a naked toddler in them but everyone seems to change their little ones on benches/ on the beach beside it, there's no real changing facility close by unless you count the public loos, is there a practical alternative in your case? If not I think YAB a bit precious about them being changed in public.

Original poster
two2blackcats · 23/07/2012 16:06

no, perhaps not which is why I put that word in inverted commas. However, the point is that in society the expectation is that we are clothed most of the time and if I was to walk through a city centre naked, it would be breaking conventions and therefore be offensive.

my daughters of course are not me and they are only 3 and 1 so yes some would argue it's completely different. I'm not so sure that it is, and it's that I don't really like, I don't like the idea of people staring with a raised eyebrow at my DDs.

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 23/07/2012 16:06

Mine used to strip off in fountain by the art gallery, i was relieved when they saw another child hurt their foot, so that they would stay covered.

I can see your POV, but here (in Liverpool) people will think nothing of it (they'l probably end up in the Echo).

Can you persued him to cover up their bottom halves,if that is what is bothering you?

I see plenty run through in beach wear, it's fun to watch and i've done it myself, clothed.

Original poster
two2blackcats · 23/07/2012 16:07

plus the fact that as someone has already said, DD2 isn't toilet trained yet -not exactly pleasant for everybody else should there be an accident (to be fair there hasn't yet been to my knowledge.)

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 23/07/2012 16:08

You have to remember that we grew up with Southport open air bathes, so we don't think the same as some.

Sirzy · 23/07/2012 16:12

You can't compare it to you being expected to be dressed though, society doesn't expect children to be dressed in the same way as it does adults. Beaches/fountains etc then I see nothing wrong with children being naked or wearing just nappy/pants.

FaceForRadio · 23/07/2012 16:15

I think I know the fountain you mean, and quite often used to sit in the pub that looked onto it watching everyone get soaked :) the pub is now closed I believe, but when I did go I never saw anyone running around naked and if I did I would be a little Hmm

My dd runs around in the garden naked on hot days, I don't have a problem with that. I would not strip her down naked in the middle of a busy town centre.