AIBU to think about rehoming my 'new' cat ?

[BlueBirdsNest]

Have posted in the litter tray about the cat , and got some good advice

But I'm seriously considering not keeping her and re-homing her, and I feel a bit crap about even thinking that

She has been with us for 6 days

Bites, scratches , hisses and spits .

Would I be the worst prson in the world if I re-homed her?

Is it you who cannot stand the smell?

And 6 days, you are being totally unreasonable.

You should feel crap about it. 6 days?!

YANBU, sounds unpleasant to live with. I wouldn't ask anyone's opinion. Just do what you need to do. The cat may find a home where the owner doesn't mind or the cat is out all day etc. You want a different kind of cat.

I got a cat from the cats' protection league.

He spent the first two weeks in a cupboard.

He spent the next few months running back into the cupboard any time anyone apart from me was in the flat.

It took him a couple of years to become confident. He had been really badly abused by his previous owner

I think you can't tell in 6 days.

Are you all leaving her alone? Does she have somewhere private and secure to hide? Can you all just ignore her for now? Just place food and water and just leave her alone?

I didn't put him in the cupboard. He chose the cupboard. He felt safe there.

It's only been 6 days, give the poor thing a chance!!

How old is she?? Where did you get her from??

She's bloody terrified I should think, you need to give her some more chance before you upset her even more by rehoming again.

I haven't seen your other thread but 6 days is very early. We have a rescue cat that I chose and wanted and found very, very difficult when we first got her. She was very needy but also bitey and I didn't like her at all. After a year it was better and after each year it gets better and better. She's now the most adorable, gently and loving creature. It's so rewarding to see a creature that was upset settle and become playful and loving.

But of course you wouldn't be the worst person in the world if you rehomed her, it depends on whether you have the time etc to do it. I was lucky because I did have the time. And there's no telling how it might work out, of course.

"Is it you who cannot stand the smell?" RubyFakeNails

I don't know what you mean? I haven't said anything about smells?

You aren't giving her a chance. Giving up after 6 days. When does she bite and scratch? When you pick her up?

And also remember she's frightened, as crusy says.

There was a poster a few days ago who posted about litter trays and their cat because they couldn't stand the smell I was trying to work out of that was you because you said you posted before about litter trays.

Obviously not sosorry aobut that. Moving on.

I just don't understand, why on earth you got a cat if it's something you are prepared to give up on in 6 days.

Most cats do bite and scratch a bit. But there are levels of intensity and its normally through fear.

It needs time to adjust and a climatise, it's not a new bit of furniture it's a living thing, you wouldnt expect ac hold who you couldn't communicate with to automatically love, adore and understand you within 6 days.

I'm in disbelief, and when you say rehome, do you mean return it to where it came from? Or actually find a loving home that won't chuck it out in 6 days?

Where are you? I'll take the poor thing off you or at least find someone who will, you are being totally irresponsible.

my cat was never abused but hissed and growled at us.
6 days is not long. Ours has calmed down. Just play bites/ kills mice everyday.

Fucking iPad. Should say acclimatise and you wouldn't expect a child.

we are leaving her to her own devices and I know six days is early doors

But she scares me slightly because she hisses and spits

I am thinking she hates us and it would be kinder to re-home now rather than later?

But reading some of the above gives me hope.

I don't want to re-home her because I took her on and feel responsible for her , but I also worry that she hates us and is so scared , it would be kinder to find her a home she liked

Mine hid behind the fridge for the first week and still doesn't like strangers or being picked up. We made friends by bribing her giving her prawns as a treat and 6 years later she is a wonderful little cat and we adore her.

Give yours time to settle in and find her feet. Move slowly and talk to her gently, she will come to you not the other way round.

BLue - she doesnt hate you at all, she is frightened and unsettled.

Years ago my mum and dad went away for a month and left their 15 year old cat with me.....now I had known him all his life but take him away from his familiar territory (he was as blind as a bat) and he spend the first week or so sitting facing the front door and hissing. He was quite intimidating I have to say as he was a big old chap but he didnt hate me, he was just frightened.

Seriously, give her some time and she will soon come round to you.

She doesn't hate you. She's scared.

You say in your OP that she bites and scratches. How does that happen? What situations, I mean. Because unless she's coming at you, then I assume that only happens when you're trying to get close to her? Stop that. It's too soon.

Ignore her for now. Let her get used to the sight and smell of you. Let her come to you.

ruby - I used to do that! Lots of prawns and bits of chicken. And chatting softly from the other side of the kitchen without even trying to take a step towards him.

The day he came and sniffed me was just amazing!

Do you know her history (abuse/neglect/whatever)? If you can find out more about her you might come to understand her behaviour better.

I agree with everyone else, she is much more likely to be scared and unsettled than to 'hate' you.

Please give her a good chance. Six days isn't long at all, especially if she does have a sad history.

no i'm not being irresponsible RubyFakeNails

Im worried about her!

This is my fist encounter with a nervous bitey hissy cat and I've had cats all of life.

Her being upset and scared upsets me, and makes me think she hates us and we frighten her, and I don't want the cat to be upset

She's just frightened, poor thing! Give her some time. Don't push it if she's not comfortable - leave her alone, don't try and approach her if she's hissing. Let her come to you. Is there a room - study, utility, spare room - that doesn't have peopel in all the time that you can make 'hers'? Confine her to it with litter tray, food, comfy bed and just go in every now and again to do something in it like fold laundry or sit and read a book. After a while her curiousity will probably get the better of her and she'll approach you. Give that enough time and she'll eventually realise that you're not scary.

And unless there's a particular thing in your house that she's scared of, I don't think rehoming her would help either - she's just unsettled and frightened. She has been moved to a new place with people she doesn't know. I'm sure you're kind, loving people who feed her delicious food and just want her to be happy, so I doubt it's something you're doing. It'd be the same anywhere.

Agree with everyone else.
6 days is very early.

My cat was from the RSPCA and had constant diarrhea, everywhere.
Even in the car coming home.
I was really stressed by it all, and started to feel like you are now.
It all seems like a big responsibility, too much.
I posted on MN too!

It'll get better I'm sure.
She is very frightened, and needs time to learn to trust you.
Please let her

All the best!

She doesn't hate you.

It's just that these things take time.

If you go to my mum's house, you will see a lovely black and white cat fast asleep on the chair. This cat will open one eye, check you out and go back to sleep.

This is a feral born cat that lived under my mum's deck for years. It took my mum three years of constant attention to get near this cat. She finally got to the point where she could handle her, she took her to be spayed, she kept her indoors while she recovered - expecting hell on earth! This cat had never been inside a house in her life.

Cat now appears to be welded to sofa

It takes so much patience to make friends with a cat. Any cat!

[ Pictures OP dabbing eau de prawn behind her ears and rubbing chicken on her feet to make her alluring to hissycat ]

It takes months for a spooked cat to settle down. There are plug-ins you can buy that make them feel calmer.

Can you tell us where you got her from and her age?