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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think about rehoming my 'new' cat ?

101 replies

BlueBirdsNest · 23/07/2012 14:47

Have posted in the litter tray about the cat , and got some good advice

But I'm seriously considering not keeping her and re-homing her, and I feel a bit crap about even thinking that

She has been with us for 6 days

Bites, scratches , hisses and spits .

Would I be the worst prson in the world if I re-homed her?

OP posts:
RubyFakeNails · 23/07/2012 15:20

From your first post you're being irresponsible.

Now you've explained youre concerned, obviously not, but the first post just sounded lazy so you cant blame my reaction to that.

You have to spend time, you can't just walk up to them pick them up etc unless they are very young and haven't been frightened by humans as much. One of my cats spent 6 months as a complete savage but it was just fear.

Also confine the space. A big house with lots of places is a lot to handle. Originally I keep them in one room for a few days and then open it up to maybe the back of the house or downstairs (it depends how your home is set up). Then you shouldn't approach the cat, just let it come to you, sit and watch tv and let it do it's own things. Try not to react to much if it comes near you or jumps on your or anything.

Have a look online about cat behaviour. Seem things will make sense when you read about the meaning behind them. Also lots of toys and entertainment and somewhere quiet that can be just her place. Most cats like somewhere tight to cram themselves in to feel safe, like a smallish box or behind a cupboard. I tend to think females are much more highly string and nervy in the early stages.

redrubyshoes · 23/07/2012 15:22

Choose a phrase that she will learn to associate with something nice to eat like 'din dins'. Leave a small piece of chicken, prawn or whatever her favourite treat is out and then say it a few times.

Mine learnt to associate that word with a treat and not her usual food and she would come running out from wherever she was hiding, she has been known to have heard it from three gardens away.

GrendelsMum · 23/07/2012 15:23

Even a fairly confident cat can be very intimidated by losing all the people and places that they've ever known and suddenly being transported to a new place with total strangers.

Your cat is probably still terrified that anyone that goes near her is going to pick her up, stuff her in a box, and take her to yet another strange place.

Our current rescue cat has been with us for about 6 months now - she's generally very settled, wants to sit on guests' laps, sleeps next to me on the bed, etc, but she's still very upset by being picked up, and she bites if she thinks someone is behaving in a threatening way. We deliberately picked her out as a more nervous cat who needed a quiet home.

Give your cat time, and the odds are that she'll settle down at her own pace.

Original poster
BlueBirdsNest · 23/07/2012 15:23

Hecate she sort of 'attacks people when she comes out of her hiding hole to go to the food or the litter tray.

If some one is on the sofa she trys to run past but does a hiss spit growl thing when she goes passed

She actually attacked my DS1 last night, not a proper attack but spat and hissed and him and swiped him with her paw just because he put his hand out for her sniff will she was walking past

OP posts:
newmum001 · 23/07/2012 15:25

My friends cat was like this. She lived for 13 years and was always a grumpy cat but if she was left alone and allowed to wander in and out as she pleased she was fine. I know it doesn't sound much fun but she was actually a lovely cat if she wasn't messed about with. I do think you should give it a bit longer to see if you get used to eachother.

Original poster
BlueBirdsNest · 23/07/2012 15:25

she is 8 and came directly from her owners who are moving abroad Bewitched

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LadyClariceCannockMonty · 23/07/2012 15:28

That 'attacking' behaviour sounds very much like fearful defensive behaviour. I know that to you your DS1 'just' put his hand out in a friendly, harmless way (and I do hope he's OK), but to a cat who doesn't yet know where the heck she is and who all these people are, and who is probably the smallest individual in the household, a hand coming towards her could easily seem like a threat.

Perhaps read a bit about cat behaviour, both how to interpret her current behaviour and how to encourage her to settle. Although there's some great advice on this thread too.

HecateHarshPants · 23/07/2012 15:28

Yeah, don't put your hands out Grin. Poor kid. How old is he? Can you just stress to him that he isn't to try to do that at all right now?

She's acting this way through fear. Attack is best form of defence and all that.

How far from her hidey hole is her food and water and tray? If possible, you should really make it so she doesn't have to 'expose' herself right now.

PetiteRaleuse · 23/07/2012 15:30

Poor mog sounds stressed and frightened. Took me months before my eldest cat would let me go near him. He's lovely now, and almost forgiven for the scratches on my arms in my wedding pictures from a few years ago.

RubyFakeNails · 23/07/2012 15:32

The best advice I would give to your dc are to completely ignore her. Even if she comes to them, try not to react, because any swift movements will be interpreted by her as an attack.

Original poster
BlueBirdsNest · 23/07/2012 15:37

her food is in the kitchen and her litter tray in the hall Hecate but if made put a small bowl of food and water and a makeshift litter tray just right beside her hidey hole

OP posts:
Original poster
BlueBirdsNest · 23/07/2012 15:40

damn ipad

i've put not if made put

OP posts:
Sassybeast · 23/07/2012 15:42

Took my rescued psycho cat 6 months to settle.

Put her food and litter near her hidey hole.
Ban ANYONE from trying to touch her, approach her, hold her.

Leave her well alone and she'll come round.

manicbmc · 23/07/2012 15:43

My rescue cat was very nervous. She'd swipe at anyone as she had been badly abused. She'd hiss too and run under the settee all the time.

But she's been here a year now and she's settled down. She's currently asleep in front of the telly. She's much more tolerant of being stroked now, but it took a lot of time, scratches and patience.

Give her space and time. Did the old owners send her with familiar items?

aJumpedUpPantryBoy · 23/07/2012 16:25

6 days is nothing.

Cat#2 let me stroke him for five minutes today - that doesn't sound like much of an achievement but we've had him for 5 years. For the first 6 months we couldn't touch him and after that it was a ten second stroke and that was it.

Cat#6 (only had him for a few weeks) is very wary. I can stroke him but I have to watch carefully because when he has had enough he will take a swipe at me. This week he approached me for the first time.

Cat#1 on the other hand is such a needy bugger that you can't move without him expecting you to pick him up and make a fuss of him.

They are all different - lots of cats just need to be left alone th their new environment. Leave her ot her own devices for now. Let her come to you, she will when she is ready.

Original poster
BlueBirdsNest · 23/07/2012 16:48

thank you

Have called the SSPCA , Cat Protection League and Lothian cats for advice and they have all said if I was to give her up they would just put her to slee.

So they'd just kill her.......wow

OP posts:
DilysPrice · 23/07/2012 16:52

Give her another few weeks and if she's not improving try Feliway. But honestly it's like complaining that a 6 week old baby doesn't sleep through the night.

Good luck.

ChuffMuffin · 23/07/2012 16:52

6 days?! Blimey I've moved in to a new place and it still doesn't feel like home after a month. Poor thing. :(

Original poster
BlueBirdsNest · 23/07/2012 17:16

i know 6 days isn't enough but i'm worrying that she hates us and is distressed

I hate seeing animals distressed

I don't want to keep her if we are making her scared, anxious and nervous......I#d rather she was somewhere she felt safe and relaxed

OP posts:
LadyClariceCannockMonty · 23/07/2012 17:22

BlueBird, you were sounding more reassured but now sound again as though you're going to rehome her ...

She is only distressed because she is in a new place and doesn't know it or its other inhabitants yet. And it's only been a few days. Chuff's comment above is a good one.

Why are you fixating on the idea of her 'hating' you all? It's much more likely that she is just 'scared, anxious and nervous' for the above reasons. There is some great advice here about giving her a 'safe' room or area of her own, gradually starting to spend time in the same space as her without approaching her, talking quietly to her without approaching etc.

Have you had cats/animals before? You sound a little as if this is all new to you. Even if not, it might really help if you read a bit about cat behaviour so you can better understand what might be making her behave this way.

archibaldmonkeyface · 23/07/2012 17:31

My feral rescue cat spent his time for the first several months in the space under a garment rail (didn't have wardrobes then!) whenever I was at home and only came out for food/water/litter tray when I was out or in bed. He hissed at me every time he saw me. One day he let me stroke his head and after that became the most loving and affectionate cat in the world. He carried on hissing for a couple of months when I put his food down and then just stopped once he knew it was always going to come and he didn't have to fight for it. Poor thing had a number of health conditions over the years and never complained or hissed, bit or scratched whatever treatment he had to have. His health problems got the better of him a couple of months ago and I had to have him put to sleep after 13 years and I miss him so much Sad

Don't give up - the cat doesn't hate you, she is just scared and needs time to settle in.

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 23/07/2012 17:35

Well, 8 years is a long time for an animal to be settled in one home and then be moved. Agree with everyone else, she is disorientated and scared, but not of you. All the above advice is spot on and the more bits and pieces you can get from her old home the better.
Persevere!

TheVermiciousKnid · 23/07/2012 17:36

.I#d rather she was somewhere she felt safe and relaxed

I think no matter where she is now, she won't feel safe and relaxed for a while. A new environment will just make her feel more confused and scared. Give it time!

Kladdkaka · 23/07/2012 17:36

One of my cats still hisses and spit and bites bloody great chunks out of my hand but I wouldn't consider rehoming her. She just needs more time to settle. We've only had her 2 years. Hmm

YABU

anditwasallyellow · 23/07/2012 17:46

I think that if you take on a pet you should be prepared to keep it for the long haul unless there are exceptional circumstances.

Agree with the other poster 6 days is way too early the cat will be terrified of you still and might need a couple of months to settle in.

But some cats are a bit more 'wild' than others, they tend to be more particular than dogs. So if you really think you've made a mistake then might be better to act soon, and don't get anymore pets.