MIL and new baby.

[Rachog]

I had a baby on Monday, we came home from hospital on Tuesday.

MIL and I don't get on and havent spoken since we had a row over dsd 9 weeks ago. However I told dp that she was of course welcome to come and visit
ds. She came round on Tuesday when we got home an stayed just over an hour, she didn't speak to me once in all that time but to be fair I didn't speak to her either.

Now however dp wants to take baby round to hers on his own for a visit in the week. I really don't want to be seperated from ds just yet and we are trying to get breast feeding established. I have said she can come here anytime, no restrictions but I just don't want him to take baby.

She only lives a 5 nun drive away so if ds wanted feeding they could be back quickly.

So am I being unreasonable? I think maybe I am a little but I can't help how I feel.

"I think I will stick to my guns, insist she comes to us and when she arrives kill her with kindness. It would take an almighty rude woman to continue freezing me out if I address her directly. An offer of a cuppa to break the ice maybe."

Perfect. You've come up with the perfect solution. You'll be fine if you stick to this.

Yadnbu. It's your baby. Bf babies need to stay with their mums. I hope your dh supports you in this. It isn't selfishness or possessiveness it's just normal and right. Babies separate from their mothers at birth but it's kinder to both mother and baby if they can stay very close for a few months afterwards. I hope your dh can understand this and support you. There is no way I would have agreed to this for at least the first 6 months.

Starry

Jelousy surely is the reason why MIls cant tolerate DILs? Fear that thier mothering days are over? Comparing themselves to DILS? and either not secretly feeling THEY THEMSELVES measure up or more often that DIL isnt good enough...

yes all human emotions but not enough reason to treat your supposed loved one's loved one with such disdain. Its very selfish.

No one accuses the MIL of putting her own flesh and blood in the middle or creating an akward situ - its always the DH being attacked for not having a spine or the DIL for breaking up the family!

what about MIL if you truely love your son do you not also accept thier choice of life partner?

Keep inviting her round Rachog and offering cups of tea and your DP will start to see who the better person in all of this is. Here's hoping he starts supporting you sooner rather than later.

Some of the above situations sound terrible and my heart goes out to all of you with horrid inlaws. I am so lucky.

Oh and yip - definite improvement after tongue-tie snipped except 19 month old DS now can't seem to keep his tongue in his mouth. Cheeky monkey.

Yanbu. You should only be separated from your newborn breastfed baby when you feel ready to be. This might not be until Ds is 1 or 2 years old! Please stand up for yourself and your baby.

op you are a better person than i am.

I was just thinking the same socknicking pixie.

Good on you, I couldn't be so nice. X