to not want to send my daughter to nursery?

[ditsydoll]

My daughter is 3 and has a place in our local nursery school starting in September. I have never really wanted to send her to nursery but put her name down as I felt like I was doing the right thing at the time. I am a SAHM and have no real reason to send her to nursey. One part of me wants her to go to prepare her for school and the other part of me thinks that our children spend enough of their lives in the school system, and why not let her enjoy being little before she really has to start full time school the following September. Anyone not sent their children to nursery? What are your views? Thanks.

Has the child any views on this? I know that my daughter missed her nursery a lot when I cut her hours from full time to 1 day a week during my second maternity leave.

I have mixed views lemarche - but I am working with a lot of families where being in nursery is undoubtedly best for the child due to other circumstances and it skews my views.

My own experience, I wish I had gone to nursery, I never made it up socially in primary, where my two DDs are confident outgoing and settled straight in at school (and nursery) but obviously that's just me not at all scientific!

The thing to remember as well is that nursery isn't school. They don't have to go. If it's a lovely sunny day and you fancy having a picnic in the park instead then you can.

My DD goes 4 afternoons a week but I'm happy to keep her off if I want to do something else instead. Fortunately my nursery are fine about this so long as I let them know.

It's fitting into the group that I thought was the best thing for DD1 Lemarch, a lot of school routine hinges on the DC being pliable enough to be 'herded' and them knowing they're not the centre of the universe (at school).

It's not something you can, or would want to, teach them at home.

She has had a small visit to nursery, just for a shoes time while I went in to take a look around with her. She looked just as happy to be there as she is at playgroup but she was with me the whole time. Does a child only have to start legally at 5? I was always under the impression that reception was compulsory? But after reading up a child only has to start the September after his/her 5th birthday? I just feel a child is more emotionally mature to deal with this transition than at 3. I just feel she is still too young to be left yet. I am still torn. I know what my heart says but my head says don't do it..

Short time*

I sent mine, accepted the space, but only went 2/3 mornings a week, not 5

Hand on heart he, I think socialisation is very important, but you can get that through playgroup.

The main issue for school transition is parents who don't engage with their children, don't meet their needs, don't take them to groups, and there are a lot of them. But you aren't one, from the sound of it.

Xpost lemarche!

Im not sure in england and wales but a child doesnt have to go to school till they are 5 in scotland dd2 was at the end of the starting date she was 4 and I could have deferred her till she was 5 I always see reception like a scottish nursery and they dont have to go , can you get her in 2 or 3 days instead of 5 ?

We have a large family and there are a lot of children her age, she goes to playgroup and out and about with me. She plays at the park and other play areas with other children. She is by all means well mixed with children her own age. She is a very independent little girl. I just feel she doesn't need to be sent off to nursery at 3 in a class of 25 or so with a couple of teachers, probably getting less out of being there than she would being at home or at groups with me for a little while longer.

After putting my dd through the Belgian Maternelle system, I am totally convinced that nursery really helps them prepare for school. It gets them used to a more structured environment with learning through play, plus using the toilet, eating food etc without mum around. In Belgium, 99% of dcs start at 2.5 years old - mind you it is free....

The nursery doesn't have flexible hours as far as I'm aware. I was just asked to choose mornings or afternoons.

Ditsy I hear you. I'm Scotland so it's different - but another reason I chose private nursery is they are lower ratios for staffing than local authority ones.

You don't want to do it. And she's getting plenty of interaction, stimulation, and attention at home, plus she has social interactions and time with other children. You aren't burning to get the 'free time'. So, really - it sounds like things are working well for you both without nursery. Don't feel pushed to make a decision that doesn't feel right to you.

Kids are legally obliged to start school, here, at four (or be home-schooled). My DD is only two, but I am pretty well dreading the idea of sending her off not just to nursery, but to school, at what seems to me to be far too young...and while I actually think I will try to find a part-time nursery spot for her at 3, I am also 'wobbly' about that.

AgentZigzag, I don't see why we can't teach our children that they aren't the centre of the universe - and I didn't send my children to school to learn to be herded either. Mine learned to share, to take turns and to listen to other people. At home.

They were all over 5 when they started school. They could use scissors, write their names, toilet themselves and even, on occasion, be "herded" (I did have four, so that's a small herd).

I put DD1 in playgroup 2 mornings a week when she was 2, as DD2 was due in a couple of months, and then in a school nursery mornings only when she was 3.

If I could have my time again, I wouldn't have done playgroup (I did it so I could spend time with DD2), and I would have done a nursery three mornings a week, because going every day just ties you up so much. Having a day off for a picnic would certainly be frowned on here.

Having said that though she has enjoyed herself, and she is really looking forward to reception in the same school- she knows the staff, she knows the classroom, she has even been to the toilet in reception today so that she will know where to go in September. Of the 26 kids in her class next year, about 18 will have been to that nursery, so she already knows them

I just think I could have given her more than the school has.

It sounds as though you are not very happy with the nursery itself?
I looked at every nursery in the area and went with my gut on where the kids looked happy and had a varied day. My one has a 6 seater buggy and they take them out in all weather, even to sing at the local old peoples home! Just two of the things i liked that other nurseries didn't offer... perhaps shopping around a bit more would help you?

you know what if you are really not wanting to send her then don't she sounds like she has agreat social life and mixes well is her nursery attached to the school you want her to go to ?

Keep her home if that's what your instinct is telling you.

The idea that "pre-school" is compulsory, or at the least hugely beneficial, has seeped into our culture. It's a nonsense. I hated all the folders and the ticking-of-boxes and the protestations that "it's just play" when all the time their progress was being closely monitored and recorded.

I wish I'd had the confidence (and funds) to swim against the tide for my three. I remember being very late to apply for a place for the youngest and being told he may not get in, several other parents looked horrified; "..but what are you going to do?".

Let 'em run free for another year, I say.

There's much evidence tht starting school at six or seven is better overall - but we aren't geared up for that.