to think that being a fussy eater in someone else's home is actually quite rude?

[wrathomum]

And never even to TRY new things? Or appreciate the efforts of the host (who has multiple food sensitivites) to cater for everyone and try to provide healthy fare? And to not even feel a little bit bad about being fussy?

"Despite the above, I've had adults in their 30s:
a) pick pieces of onion out of a stew and shove them to the side of their plate."

Yup, that would be me. I don't like onions in large chunks. It's not an allergy, I just don't like them. I don't tell hosts I don't like them because a) I don't mind small quantities, or onions that have been cooked in certain ways, and b) almost everything has onion in it, so it's a pain for the host and for the other guests if I say "no onion".

If I'm served something with big chunks of onion, I have a choice: either I eat the onions and I don't enjoy the meal my host has cooked, or I pick out the onions and enjoy the remainder of the meal. I choose the latter.

Personally as a host I would rather someone picked out the bits they don't like and enjoyed the rest, rather than choking down something they don't like.

I find food intolerance chat less boring and annoying than food fussiness. People can't help intolerances/allergies/other health reasons for avoiding things.

minipie I'm with you on the onions. If they're big enough to eat round, I eat round them. If they're smaller than that I just eat them. But I don't go "ewww, onions".

It's the slimyness.

My mum used to cook a "lovely" meal of liver and large lumpy onions with mashed potato and gravy. That was a struggle.

If you don't eat meat and don't like vegetables, you are fussy, whether you like the label or not. What does that leave?

And picking through your food pulling bits out is certainly rude.

I don't really like liver or kidneys because I know too much about their functions.

To be honest, I instinctively find myself mildly irritated by fussy eaters (I am talking about adult fussy eaters).

I don't think many people really mind intolerances or what other people don't like/won't eat although i'm from the school of eating what i'm given and smiling politely....DM also had a good death stare ...it all comes down to how people deal with it. Telling host ahead of time...quietly leaving the bits you don't like....absolutely fine. Saying loudly "I don't like x!"....pulling a face...making a big fuss....all very rude whether you're an adult or a child.

I can't go fussy eaters at all.
By that I don't mean people with allergies/intolerances, or who are veggie/vegan/muslim/whatever. I don't even mind if they eat a limited diet, so long as they tell me in advance.
I do mind if they make any kind of fuss about the food, or are rude in any way.
My ex bf, now a really good friend is limited in what he will eat, though he has got much better, however, he knows how much I love food and would never dream of being rude.
When we met, he told me what he wouldn't eat, so I didn't cook it for him.
He loves my cooking, trusts that I'd never try to get him to eat something he wouldn't want to, and has, as a result, got so much better about trying new things.

LaQueen, I think it's a lot to do with upbringing too. In my case I don't even remember there being any discussion about 'if you didn't like something'. It just never came up. We were all cooked for (and no one got different things cooked for them either) and we ate it. It wouldn't have occurred to me in a million years to ask for something else instead, or make a fuss about it.

Interesting that people assume that fussy eaters were pandered to in some way as children. My mother was also formidable and I have strong memories of having to eat stuff I didn't like as a child. Porridge. Weetabix with warm milk. Urgh. A cake that tasted mouldy. Now I'm an adult I don't have to.

I'm still thinking the supertaster thing makes a difference. People with fewer taste buds simply don't have the same reaction to foods and so find it easier to force down?

My upbringing too, and I've brought DD up the same way.
I've a ten yr old who tried tripe, and ox heart, and happily eats chicken livers, and adores all fish.
I appreciate that I've only got one, and not all children/people are the same, but it worked on me and it's worked for DD too.

noble, in my case though I didn't have a 'formidable' mother, and I was never forced to eat anything, or served up last night's dinner for breakfast, or any of that crap.

My parents were just relaxed about food, is the best way to describe it. They never made a fuss about it, in the sense of either forcing or pandering. I think forcing kids to eat things is just as counter-productive, FWIW.

If someone put fish on my plate i wouldn't eat it. And if they didn't put fish on my plate but put it on other peoples and it still had eyes I would leave. just get up and go.

fish=boke

mrsrants wins the gold for childishness in public. If you did that in my house I'd be glad to see the back of you, and would warn other normal people not to invite you round.

But would you be rude about fish on your plate msrants?
I wouldn't mind if you left the fish (though I'd wonder why you hadn't told me you hated it beforehand), I would mind if you made a song and dance about hating it.
If you really can't eat it, then don't, eat what you can, and participate in the conversation, and be polite.
If the sight of fish with eyes on would make you puke, then yes, best to leave, again though, probably best to tell your hosts in advance, though if I were cooking and for some reason had no idea of dislikes, I'd never choose to cook whole fish.
I'd go for something pedestrian, like chicken breasts, or lasagne, or a selection of salady bits and nice bread/ cold meats etc.

LaQueen my mum was formidable. If you showed any signs of weakness she'd pounce. If I suggested I didn't like anything it would be served more often.

I still remind her of the "making me eat onion soup on my birthday" debacle.

I don't think upbringing is necessarily the cause though. My Son 1 will genuinely try anything, and likes most things. I was all smug and congratulatory on my parenting brilliance. Then Son 2 turned up. He's much fussier. I have not done anything differently.

noble I'm with you on this.

My mum and my (very fussy) sister had years of battles over food. My sister genuinely preferred to go hungry (to the point of near fainting) and sit at the table for hours and hours than eat something she didn't like. It's not always about the parents pandering to the child.

Some people are just unlucky in that lots of foods taste horrible to them. Some people are lucky and like most things. I think we should feel sorry for people who don't like lots of foods (as long as they have tried them) rather than branding them childish or a pain.

Endoplasmic, God, I really feel for you. That's just not necessary, is it, serving something more often if someone doesn't like it? What's the point?

I love your name, BTW.

LadyClarice - she cooked the lovely liver and onion meal because it was cheap, and the rest of the family liked it. She denies doing it to be cruel.

And to be fair, the onion soup on my birthday thing wasn't completely her fault (we were eating out, there was a mix-up, and she bought me a big ice cream sundae for pudding to make up for it).

She does still make me eat a sprout at Christmas dinner though. I am 38. One day I am going to throw a bloody sprout at her.