to think that being a fussy eater in someone else's home is actually quite rude?

[wrathomum]

And never even to TRY new things? Or appreciate the efforts of the host (who has multiple food sensitivites) to cater for everyone and try to provide healthy fare? And to not even feel a little bit bad about being fussy?

bogey why would you think that me listing all the foods that I don't eat would include the ones most commonly likely to appear on your plate alongside roast chicken? Potatoes, I am completely fine with potatoes as it happens. And a reasonable selection of the more commonly served veg.

It would still take more time to list the things I don't eat.

English mustard: not even recognisable as food. There's as much chance of my trying it as there is of me swigging petrol. Bok!!

musicmadness, I think you've hit the nail on the head that most people don't go to other's houses til they know them quite well so these things aren't often issues.

If you were my friend and you didn't like mash, of course I wouldn't cook it (or I'd cook plenty of other stuff). If you just turned up without mentioning you didn't like it and I'd made nothing but mash and then didn't eat it, I'd consider you a little rude.

Crunchy, physically forcing him was what I was picturing TBH. That's what my mum did to me when I was little until she realised just how upset I was getting before every meal. If it's just a case of eat it or there is nothing else then I don't see a problem. I'd of been perfectly happy with that (would just have not eaten, which is exactly what happened when I was too big to physically force!).
There is a history of severe food dislikes (all different things) in my wider family though, which are all at the point of not eating for days rather than eat that thing. Probably not to the point of physically starving to death no but definitely to the point of feeling extremely hungry (think my record was 4 days with nothing to eat as a child before my parents gave in). In the end everyone found it easier to just avoid severe dislikes. Fortunately we aren't at a point in this country where we have to eat one specific thing or starve!

Do people really care about this stuff though? I don't think any of my friends bat an eyelid about food dislikes. My friend teases me occasionally about not eating mashed potato, and I will tease her about not eating mushrooms. It's always good natured though, I honestly can't imagine either caring or thinking twice if someone left something I'd cooked because they didn't like it. I'd just remember not to make that for them next time, no big deal. Maybe it helps none of us are foodies. I can see how if you had spent hours in a kitchen you would be annoyed if someone didn't eat anything. I don't think any of us has ever cooked anything which took over an hour at most!

Noble well as I said, you made it sound like it was such a huge issue that why wouldnt I think it would include things on a normal roast?

So far on this thread have been veggies, mashed food, meat, cups of tea that people have issues with and you said that yours was so bad that you have to check a restaurant menu to see if you can even go in, so yes, I did rather assume that it was as bad as you said.

tbh noble you sound like on of the attention seekers mentioned above. You have terrible issues until its pointed out to you how you could work around them and then suddenly they are not so bad!

bogey yes, I have to check restaurant menus, because if I am going to pay for a meal, then I don't want to just eat the potatoes around the edge.

I'm certainly not an attention seeker, but frankly, telling me I should never eat in company just in case the person I am with is of the mind that fussy eating is a 'first world problem' and 'extremely childish' isn't really a great solution is it?

True though.

Having an issue with one thing (particularly what I have a problem with TBF) isn't really a big deal unless it is made into one though. You can pretty much always just eat around it. It's when some people seem to judge the fact that you have quietly left it that it would become a problem. If there are millions of things you won't eat then ok, that could be a major issue if you can't suggest a few things you will definitely eat.

I do think this is one of those issues it is difficult to see from the other POV though, I honestly can't see why someone would have a problem with someone leaving a part of a meal, while someone who would consider that really rude won't be able to see why I can't just eat it without a problem. It's a good thing I really don't think it comes up that often in real life!

Maybe the people who think that fussy eating is a 'first world problem' and 'extremely childish' should just get over themselves instead?

telling me I should never eat in company just in case the person I am with is of the mind that fussy eating is a 'first world problem' and 'extremely childish' isn't really a great solution is it?

Nobody said that. I suggested that as eating in company appears to be such a huge problem for you, that you stop doing it! At no point did I say that you shouldnt eat out for fear of offending others.

Again, you are twisting words in order to victimise yourself. You are choosing to allow this to be such a big issue for you, as I have said several times people with far worse problems than you manage. You are choosing not to. Dont expect sympathy or understanding when you actively avoid making your own life easier.

Yes Noble, why should they let the truth stand in the way of your matyrdom?

can see the op's point but i wouldn't want to have to eat things i didn't like, no matter where i was. former mil made 'fish pie', an ungodly concoction of flaked fish, mashed potato and cheese sauce. i ate it.
i threw up.

mamma you would love blue Tuesday untill you realised that gammon egg yolks and exactly 17 peas are also expected to be served.

noble down thread you did get massivly arsey about it all and it most certainly sounded like you couldn't possibly eat most things.

Op IMHO at a dinner party you probally shouldn't serve things that a huge ammount of people may struggle with like fish or liver and stuff like that. The only thing I point blank refuse to eat is baked beans but I don't reckon I'm likly to be served them.
If it's blatent rudeness and very much a case of I don't like practicly anything so I'm going to sit here with a face like thunder push perfectly normal food round my plate and be fucking rude you could always do what I do to my sister and that's pick up plate and dump in lap.

Eating in company isn't a problem for me so long as people don't have a problem with me not going in certain restaurants, turning down offers of food or leaving stuff on the side of my plate.

But apparently from this thread, some people are really judgmental about things like that.

Thus it becomes an issue not about me and food, but about me and other people and their feelings about me and food. Why is that not their problem?

Noble likes having a 'thing'. Leave her to it. No point arguing.

"Maybe the people who think that fussy eating is a 'first world problem' and 'extremely childish' should just get over themselves instead?"

I just think it's fucking rude and common to turn your nose up at food someone has prepared for you when you're they're guest. (allergies and mental health problems around food excepting)

I have eaten food on many occasions that I haven't enjoyed, smiled and said it was lovely, but no seconds thanks as I was full.

There is no member of my family - siblings, parents and children who would think different. It's just the way we were raised. And none of us are fussy. I'd be hard pressed to think of any foods I'd have a real problem with eating.

You're right Pictish.

Enjoy your "thing" Noble.

I think there's a firmly held belief that people choose to be fussy. That's not necessarily the case. Most truly fussy eaters would kill to have a 'normal' palate. dd would love to eat everything that was put in front of her but it's not going to happen. I little bit of consideration on both sides makes for a more pleasant mealtime. eg don't expect her to 'just try a bit of banana' and she won't chuck up on your best tablecloth.

I have this issue all the time - I host foreign language students and give them dinner. Most fine but some super fussy one would only eat food cooked by her mother! My tips fwiw put food in middle of table so people can help themselves and its not wasted as I can just freeze it/eat next day. Plating food up stresses fussy eaters out. I try to do food that generally appeals if all else fails they can make themselves toast. Its hard not to get irritated when noses are obviously turned up at something you've cooked there are graceful ways of declining food sadly teenagers not usually developed these social skills!

I don't think going to a restarant has even been mentioned with redgard to rudeness it's going to home cooked dinners that is.and to be perfectly honest if your issues are such that you couldn't engage in that event then you probally didn't ought to be attending unless it's very very good friends or close family because that way it wouldn't be rude

Food changes when cooked.. taste, texture can become completely different, so someone who doesnt like raw celery may like it when it is in a stew.. (ie my husband).

I get irritated by people who say point blank that they do not like something, when they have either never tried it, or only tried it once and it is being offered a different way, that they may like.

Potatoes are a perfect example. I fail to see how anyone can say they dont like potato when there are so many different ways of serving it. Jacket Potatoes and Dauphinois Potatoes for instance.

most certainly sounded like you couldn't possibly eat most things.

Erm, because I can't? I am what most people would term a very fussy eater.

I don't know why people would assume that meant I couldn't eat anything on a plate.

sagger I dont believe that fussiness is a choice, but I do believe that not doing everything you can to make your life easier IS a choice. If you like to eat out and socialise at events that are based around food then just tell the host what you can or cant eat. If you are close enough to be invited to their home then you are close enough to tell them.

I wouldnt have a problem with a genuine issue that I was warned of in advance. Its the "food players" that get my goat, who say they will eat anything when asked, but dont eat anything at all and look at their plate as if it contained a rotting corpse.

I have a pal with food ISHOOS....she 'can't' eat this and 'can't' eat that. She makes a big show of gagging if she has to swallow a paracetamol..etc.....she prods and pokes and inspects her food in a conspicuous manner....shudders at stuff like chicken, and just generally carries on like a look-at-me-I'm-special-and-different pain in the arse.
It's all in the name of attention. Lovely woman, but it's all very tedious.