to fret about the amount of sexual partner's I have had..?

[LoveIsTooHard]

I have had twelve sexual experiences with men and two with women. I have been celibate for the past three and a half years because I was concerned about the number becoming 'too high'.

Do the old stereotypes about the number of sexual partners, still exist for men and women?

AIBU to worry that the fact I have had fourteen sexual partners and that number is 'too high'?

(I am 38 BTW)

FWIW This is a genuine AIBU not taken from something I have read in a newspaper etc.

I have namechanged for this.

Yes YABU, this is not the dark ages. We are allowed sex now.

YANBU in my opinion...it's your business whether you only want to have sex with one person for the rest of your life or sh*g the entire olympic team....However I know from discussing this same topic with DH that most (not all) men do view it differently and have double standards...So I can understand why you're worrying a bit about it....

You don't have to tell any future partners how many previous partners you've had.

Why worry about something you can't change?

Yabu, dh was number considerably higher than 14 a one night stand back in 1983. [tart]

You will now be taken from this place and dragged through the streets on a tumbrel and branded a trollop.
Or nobody will actually care. If it worries you that it will put future partners off somehow, don't tell them. Or lie. It's not tattooed on your forehead for all to see, honestly.

Why are you bothered by it? I have had 24 partners and I am 33. Many were short flings and one night stands when I was younger. I am happy to be honest with DH about the number and he doesn't care. I don't go shouting it out from the rooftops but I am not embarrassed about it. I don't see the issue at all.

why worry about something you cant change, and nobody need know unless you broadcast it?

If you are 38, and started having sex when you were legally able to do so, that still equates to less than one partner a year.. hardly unusual.

I worry about having too few sexual partners.. if I was single I would be working on increasing the numer, not so i could say a higher number but so i had lots of fun!

The number soesnt mean anything, so long as you feel happy and the sex is with people you trust then i think it's only a good thing!

Have fun!

It has been so long for me that I have probably forgotten how to 'do it' anyway...

What does it matter if you were safe and responsible with those partners? I seriously can't understand why a number would matter. Surely it's if you've put yourself at risk you should be concerned?

And 3 1/2 years just because the number bothered you? I wouldn't be able to go 3 1/2 months! :)

Too high for whom? If you regret a large number or felt pressured or feel that you have a need for male 'approval' then yes, think about it and try to move forward more confident in your own boundaries.

If you had a good time and each was consenting & added to your life experience - chill the hell out! You'll find 12 is small fry amongst many 38 year olds :o

You don't have to have the amount of sexual partners you've had tattooed on your forehead.

Have as many as you like. You don't have to tell anyone if you don't wish to.

You don't have to tell people if you are worried about it (which you shouldn't be). Nobody makes you walk around with a number on a sandwich board or anything.

No one cares now
As someone said further up thread, these days you a allowed to enjoy yourself, the stigma just doesn't seem to be there anymore
And that's hardly a lot?!

I think you're overthinking this.
That number is not that high - one of my dearest mates tried to count all her encounters up and had to admit defeat because she couldn't remember them all! She got to about 30 or 40 and had quite shocked herself! She is now happily married with a chap who had only maybe 3 or 4 previous girlfriends.
Bear in mind you do not have to discuss this number with anyone at all - any future partner doesn't have the right to know this if you don't want them to. It's your business and no-one elses.

Always safe sex and I did know most of them. Not anymore though.

You should be ashamed of course....that is far too few.

I stopped counting when I got to 30!

But am now married so will not be increasing the number whatever it is. Don't feel shame but also keep it to yourself. It shouldn't matter but people do give you a hard time over it. Thankfully I had my wild time in a different city when in my early 20's. I could leave it behind. I have seen friends of mine be very judgemental of women being very sexually active.

My gay friends are much more open minded.

I can't remember how many I've had, it must be knocking 80 - I never counted.

My OH has never asked, as I him.

The only thing that matters to us both is while we are in our relationship the only person we will be sleeping with is each other :)

you`ll find 12 is small fry amongst many 15yr olds!

I'm jealous op, I'm 31 and dh is my one and only. I regret not shagging around a bit before settling down.

I managed to cram in 8 and 1 woman in 3 years so YABU.

I can't help but feel men still judge about this.

:o At naturalblue. We'll all feel justified now