desperate dad, controlling ex

[Helplessdad]

Split when dd was v young. Ex wife moved 300 miles away to live with parents while she got back on her feet. Several months later I also moved to be with my partner (currently pregnant) which unfortunately was I the opposite direction. Since then I have had as much contact as poss, every other weekend staying at hotels near dd plus a week here and there for holidays and Christmas.

I just can do it anymore. It's exhausting doing all the travelling and I can't afford petrol, hotel and eating out every other weekend.

I have suggested a new plan- 6 weeks no contact, but then a whole week with my girl up here so we can spend quality time and she can get to know her other family.

Ex has said no- it's not in the interests of our daughter, it's out of her routine, it's too long away from mum, etc etc. but how is it not in her interest of she gets to spend proper time with me?

Ex isn't budging and I don't know what to do. I just can't carry on like this. I'm broke and exhausted.

Aibu to try to take this to court?

"Is he supposed to put his life on hold indefinitely? "

Well, no itsthequietones. But his daughter is only 18 months old!He didn't exactly hang about , did he?

I am not assuming he cheated, I just want to know because it makes a difference.

He didn't move 300 miles in opposite direction!!

And kinky we were military too.... Kids get used to the way things are!

I don't know why the OP is getting so much grief.

The mother moved 300 miles away from the father.

This is what has caused the problems.

she moved to be near support. he moved another 300 miles away. he could have stayed. and it would not have been a problem. he could have moved closer to her. HE decided for no other reason then to start a new family to move the extra 300 miles away.

are people really THAT dim?

No the mother returned to her home town_not unusual for a newly single mum with a very young baby.

OP then moved even further to be with his current partner who can't move away due to her commitments.

He's pleading poverty and exhaustion as to why he can't carry on regular contact with his daughter yet hges about to have another child with his new partner?

Agree with nowthenwreck. Details re the breakup are key.

Ha ha kinky read the thread....dim eh??

Yes Huan, but we don't know why.

Personally I moved hundreds of miles from my child's father because the father was no help whatsoever, in any way, and I needed my parents.
I didn't really want to either, it just felt too hard and too scary to have no-one I could practically lean on.
I don't imagine OP's Ex was exactly thrilled about living with her own parents again once she was a mother herself...

The 300 miles is how far exw moved to go back home. Not sure how far in the other direction OP moved.

What are the new partners commitments as to why she can't relocate? Another Q that will no doubt not be answered.

Split when dd was v young. Ex wife moved 300 miles away to live with parents while she got back on her feet

See?

No he didn't move a further 300 miles. The ex moved 300 miles. He hasn't stated how much further he moved. Could be 10 miles for all we know.

i should have said the dim bit. that was v rude and uncalled for.

but my point still stands. even if the mother had stayed where she was, he would still have to travell to see the child becasue he moved to be near his new partner.

the mother moved becasue she was single with a new baby and prob wanted to be near family.

I wish the OP would come back and answer some questions.

Exw had valid reasons for moving so far. OP didnt/doesnt.

Yes I'll admit- it was an affair that broke us up, but we are in a committed relationship now and about to have a child together. It shouldn't colour any opinions about how I see my daughter!

Ex is obstructive and controlling, she wants it all her way, not do any travel. She wants me to incur all the costs associated with access and im not doing it anymore.

Blimey. Well done for admitting to that.

It does of course make all the difference and I don't think your ex wife (have you divorced yet) is being unreasonable or controlling.

Why can't you and your partner move closer to your daughter?

And you may well say you are in a comitted relationship now but your wife probably thought you were with her too.

You are about to get virtually lynched.

Rightly so I'd say Huan.

Please say you support your child financially OP?

If moving is possible (is it?) then I'd live nearer my child and see my partner every six weeks.

orrrrrr you could move right bam in the middle of the two. see each child the same... though im sure you wouldnt mind traveling more to get your booty

Your poor kid, when she goes up she will think you didn't give a shit and just replaced her.

Op, can you imagine how your wife might feel? Have you even tried?

And are you here because you think she uses MN?

like I said earlier, why didn't you think about this before you moved or got your new partner pregnant?

Give examples of 'obstructive'