To be absolutely incandescent about this?

[AmberNectarine]

Not so 'D'H is off on a stag do this morning, back tomorrow PM. Normally we each have a lie in on a weekend morning, but obviously as he won't be here tomorrow morning I have no option but to get up with the DCs (2.6 and 12mo), which will likely be before 6am.

Now, as he is off on a jolly and I will be doing all the childcare this weekend I has rather foolishly assumed I would get the lone lie-in this morning, but when we discussed it last night I was informed I am incredibly selfish, as obviously overall he would get less sleep this weekend, as he is on a stag do.

Bit of background: I am on mat leave at the moment, DH works long hours and was away with work this week. He is also additionally tired as he was away with work for a couple of days this week, and was out out on the lash til gone midnight both nights (I know this as he phoned me 'to tell me that he loved me' while merry). Our DD (12mo) has never slept through and still wakes 3+ times per night, and as I am bf and he is working I deal with every single night waking, so the one little bit of uninterrupted sleep I get on a weekend morning is very precious to me, and I am loath to relinquish it.

Am I being unreasonable to think that, actually, that is his choice, and no one is forcing him to go and get ridiculously shitfaced and stay out til all hours, whereas I have no choice but to look after our children?

Disclaimer: my judgement may be clouded as I haven't had a night out since March and that was for a couple of hours.

Oh babes, he sounds pretty rubbish.

How about weaning the baby off the boob so he can do some of the feeds?

And concentrate on letting him look after the kids and turn your phone off. Baby should learn to settle for her dad.

The lack of respect must quite draining. I think he needs to find out what it takes to run your house. Maybe get ill, go away, write a
List of all the jobs, go on strike, just give up housework until he gets the message that it's a partnership.

Working is MUch Easier than looking after children. He know this. He's praying you don't twig.

Mark lie-ins on the calendar - WTF?!

No, it's not rocket science. We just split them. The weekend is made up of two days, right? One lie-in each.

It doesn't actually require military-level precision and forward planning. Just a nice, mutual agreement that we each get some extra sleep and time to ourselves at the weekend, while the other takes the kids downstairs, gets them breakfast and gets them dressed.

Just basic shared-parenting, no...?

Hoovering - hope you're OK, will look out for your thread. :)

you should have the lie in. He could have gone to bed early both nights and infact will get one lie in anyway.

YANBU. He should have got up this morning as he will be getting the lie -in tomorrow. And he is taking advantage of the fact that your baby needs you around because he knows full well that you won't just bugger off and leave him to it.

Do you have any friends or relatives near by? Could you feed the baby just before DH is due home, then as soon as he gets in pop out for a couple of hours sleep at someone else's house?

Good luck with getting him to think before he speaks/acts and not 12 hours later. Realising later on that you have been a twat is admirable, but not enough!!

You need that baby to be taking a bottle or a cup!!

Go out, do not answer your phone for 'that phone call' - one night of grizzling because she's with Daddy and not Mummy wont hurt her! It will do them both good and hopefully break the cycle of 'only Mummy will do'. 'Only Mummy will do' only works if Mummy is prepared to be there 24/7, if she isn't, they adapt. Really they do!

Just wanted to agree with the comments on cow's milk. DD2 wouldn't touch a bottle of EBM or formula despite trying about 15 different types of bottles/cups. She finally started taking cow's milk from an avent bottle at 13 months (much to my HV's horror that it wasn't a cup) and has never looked back. (Won't give up the bottle now at 2.3, but I'm done with beating myself up over it!)
I vividly remember the sheer exhaustion of being up many times a night with a child who wouldn't settle for anyone else. (My Dh tried really hard too.) It's very easy to fall into that cycle of comparing who has the worst deal, especially when so sleep-deprived, and I think most of us have been there in our relationships at some point. It will get easier eventually but the cow's milk is definitely worth a try when you are ready to do so.
Better to have vented on here than to have remained resentful. Hope you get your afternoon off tomorrow.