...to not eat

[somewherewest]

So AIBU to respond to my parents' lovingly-prepared Annabel Karmel purees as if they're feeding me arsenic, but not to give a flying fuck about baby-led weaning either?

I'm 7mo by the way.

Throw some overboard, wait until they bend over to wipe it up then throw the rest on their head (works well with tomato pasta)

Love Minimcfee age 2.10

Another trick is to choose one food you will eat.

Do not tell them what this food is.

Let them offer hundreds of options until they stumble across the 'magic' food.

Let them stockpile it as a 'failsafe' dinner.

Change acceptable food and refuse previous acceptable food.

Repeat.

LittleEd 18 months (currently refusing previously loved garlic bread)

YANBU

Your mummy should realise that Karmel is a waste of money and to just purée the shot out of anything lol

Oh, I remember those days with fondness.

Now I am 3 and it has all changed so much, although there is still so much fun to be had.

Now, I can follow Mummy round saying "Mummy, I'm hungry" and then turning down everything she offers. The trick is to let her spend 10 minutes (if you can spin this out, even better - keeps her occupied for a few minutes and stops her doing things like noticing and cleaning off your artwork on the living room wall) listing everything she can think of that you might like that she also considers a suitable snack (whatever that means), and then ask for something not on the list - which usually means it isn't in the house. Then you can have a full-on tantrum because that is what you neeeeeeed. Even better is to say this a few minutes before dinner - your Mummy will congratulate herself on timing dinner to perfection (maybe she can do this mummy job after all), but then have a melt down because you want the dinner NOW, not in two minutes when it is served. And when it does arrive, be sure to have another fit because it is not what you wanted, and it is too hot, and there is no sauce (or there is too much sauce, or it is in the wrong place on your plate). Once Mummy is grinning in that funny way they have (you know, white faced, teeth bared and gritted) then you can get on and eat.

You can also help yourself to food when you get taller (or able to move chairs or your step around the house). Ideally, you need to check all the apples before selecting the one you want so I advise taking a bite or two out of each of them. Be sure to put them back in the fruit bowl bite-side down or you'll be found out immediately. If you hide the evidence, she will assume you can't be punished or told off because you won't remember the crime by the time she finds it - hah!

And if there is something you really don't want, don't make a fuss. Just store it safely (socks are good for this) and tuck it away somewhere out of sight. They may eventually be able to smell it but they won't tell you off - see above!

And if you do get hungry, you can always go and pick and eat all of the strawberries and raspberries they have been carefully growing. This is great because they don't know whether to be pleased that you get the whole 'where food comes from' thing and it's a healthy snack, or worried because the slug slime wasn't washed off, or cross because there are none left for anyone else.

There's so much for you all to look forward to.

One more important tip - if you're going out after lunch, always remember to secrete a small amount of leftovers about your person to smear across your chops and hair should you and DM happen to run into 'D' Auntie/MIL/Old Lady At Bus Stop. Makes them do a very silly sucky face and tutty noise at DM.

Don't forget if you have brothers and sisters to wake each other up in relay. This is a great game and ends up being snuggled in all together for a snuggle and then I can practice my climbing and raspberrys on DM

I like it when Mummy goes purple in the face and makes this twitchy motion with her left eye. This is best achived when I take a huge bit out of something starchy, like a good peanut butter and jam sandwich and chew it until it achieves the consistancy of playdough. Then carefully, and with great emphesis on the retching, spit it out onto the plate or better yet in Mummys hand. Rinse and repeat until Mummy leaves the room in tears. Then hug Mummys legs whilst chanting 'BabyStrawb good girl' until shes pretty sure shes lost her mind.

I never learned the art of refusing food until late in life, about 2 months ago. I am now a ripe old age of 18 months and 17 days. I regret not living out my misspent youth.

When you are 3 you will be able to reach the chocolate in the Post Office, this is good because DM will always pay for something I've dropped on the floor and broken, then if I say sorry she will let me eat it