We need a 2nd car. AIBU to want a “fun car?”

[FireBlade918]

Hi,

I'm dropping down to 4 day working week to look after my daughter on Fridays. Wife is building up to a 4 day working week so DD will have a 3 day nursery week. Up to now I've been using my motorbike to commute to work (while Wife on maternity) but Wife will now have car on Fridays so we need a second car otherwise DD & I will be confined to the village on Fridays. The car will just be used for Friday adventures with DD, we already have have a sensible car for sensible chores.

So am I being unreasonable to want a fun car - aka ?Daddies magic flying carpet ? ???

In terms of cash we have more than enough savings that DW enjoys controlling. The savings have been earn't jointly i.e. 50/50. We moved house a year ago, spent lots, still have lots of work/expenditure ahead but all in budget. Its not a question of funding. Sensible / Boring the car will still cost the same.

Basically, if we elect to buy a sensible (boring) 5 door front wheel drive car then Wife is happy to use our savings i.e. the money is ?allowed? to come out of ?our savings?. If I want a 2 door rear wheel drive rag top (fun car) then I have to sell ?my toys? to fund it.

AIBU or is she being manipulative?

Kind regards,
Mr Fire Blade

Are you having a midlife crisis?

YABU. Similarly, Mr Annunziata was also BU when he wanted a bloody scooter.

YAdefinatelyNBU

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.se/imgres?q=pea+car&um=1&hl=sv&client=firefox-a&sa=N&rls=org.mozilla:sv-SE:official&biw=1202&bih=858&tbm=isch&tbnid=moboYE8PLGIQiM:&imgrefurl=www.thecarcommunity.com/members/profile/1450/pictures/4637/140&docid=HeqBx0XxjylX9M&imgurl=static.sgcdn.net/cache/224574/image/4637.jpg&w=640&h=480&ei=nzn_T5nYHsfg4QSP2IHlBg&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=401&sig=111072022259316190696&page=2&tbnh=153&tbnw=204&start=20&ndsp=25&ved=1t:429,r:16,s:20,i:188&tx=121&ty=51" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Get one of these

If its a car for two, and you are a three person family then YABU.
?
Maybe agree a price for a more than two person car and just spend that

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.se/imgres?q=funny+car&um=1&hl=sv&client=firefox-a&sa=N&rls=org.mozilla:sv-SE:official&biw=1202&bih=858&tbm=isch&tbnid=bOzSuC0xhQkXbM:&imgrefurl=sneakhype.com/news/2011/06/were-giving-away-6-cars.html&docid=hr2uRbMBm_QBDM&imgurl=images.sneakhype.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/funny-car-image15.jpg&w=600&h=436&ei=RTr_T7vkDIbZ4QTnyKySBw&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=387&sig=111072022259316190696&page=1&tbnh=140&tbnw=192&start=0&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:19,s:0,i:171&tx=97&ty=56" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">or this

I don't think you are being unreasonable, provided she gets to drive it on days when you are not out having fun! What will you do if another little dc comes along though? Is there room for a baby seat in the fun car? Maybe that is the issue?

YANBU.

If a fun car will do the job you need it to do then why do you have to buy a boring one instead?

My MIL's fun car (her midlife crisis came a bit late) wouldn't take a car seat - Halfords said even with switching the airbag off it wouldn't be safe.

Great idea.

This car shouts "I'm a fun car!" at odd intervals and often in the middle of the night.

Smart cars are great fun and really nippy too, I miss mine, had to trade it in for a bigger car when dc came along.

How about a four seater convertible? That way you can all go out.

(speaking as an ex MX5 owner and current Peugeot 307 CC owner with husband and 2 kids. Dh owns a Subaru Impreza though, so we don't really do sensible family cars...)

YANBU! A car is a car surely?
So long as the flying carpet costs the same amount as the boring car then whats the difference (aprt from possibly the insurance, :o)
Having said that, perhaps your DW now feels that you will have a great car while she is stuck with the boring old sensible one. If so then how about you share the flying carpet for work and use the sensible one for trolling about in (simply tell her how great she will look whooshing into work with the roof down and sunglasses on :))

You said 2 door not 2 seater, right? Then I think you should have a fun car bought out of joint funds with equal access for her when she wants to have fun.

A two door isn't much fun when you're struggling to get a toddler into their car seat in the back. Bitter experience.

As long as its a 4 seater and doesn't cost more than the boring car then yanbu.

"The car will just be used for Friday adventures with DD, we already have have a sensible car for sensible chores."
It's a nice idea, but - why do you get to have Friday adventures and your wife gets to have sensible chore-filled Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday? Are you not going to take your tune at the daily grind of supermarket shopping etc?

I can see the attraction of a fun car and a sensible car. But maybe your DD should travel in the sensible car, and the lone adult should have the fun car (i.e. that's what your wife gets to drive on Fridays). Maybe that set-up would make it more acceptable to your wife.

turn, not tune

I think it depends on the car and carseat, i had a (boring) 2 door and kids in 5 point forward facing seats, it was far easier to belt them up than in out 4 door car especially in the rain i would slide seat forward stand bent in car and do it

I don't think yabu.
I suppose it depends in how much it would eat into your savings.
What sort of % of the savings are you proposing to spend on the car?

YANBU

I got me a Smart Roadster (Brabus)

Pic on profile - the silver one, not the yellow lotus!

pfft!

OMG ? 19 replies in < 1hr. Now that's what I call performance ;0)

1. noblegiraffe: Yes, its a chronic condition for me. Please don't be prejudice ;0)
2. GnocchiNineDoors: A 5 door fun car would cost a bomb, at which point a boring car becomes the voice of reason.
3. Kladdkaka: I say, do you work in a car wash? Looks like you have lots of fun at work. Can you wash my car?
4. Sam100 & topbannana & littleducks & Noqontrol & WhereYouLeftIt ,

a. Yes she can drive it too. Its a family thing not my toy. Joint fun. b. It will be a 2 seater. 1 Adult 1 Child. c. 1's enough. If 1:1999999 happens then we'll sell and get a different car ? Wife now is coil enabled!!!

1. noblegiraffe ? come on, its once a week. The extra faf will be worth it listening to her screams of delight with the top down and wearing her pink & white shades ;0))
2. accidentalchickenkeeper: Budget 2k ish for either boring/fun car. Small % compared to planned, Conservatory, New double glazing, New roof for extension, New workshop, New boiler etc etc etc.

Thanks to everyone,
Andy

she is being a nob end.

take back control of the savings and buy the car. as long as its safe enough!!

p.s if you were a women, a man had control of your savings and wouldnt give you money for a car/dictated your life to you

we would say..........................

LEAVE THE
BASTERD!! :p

Hang on a second!

DW here.

Yes, I do control the savings but if I didn't then there wouldn't be any. And I think DH has missed out some pertinent detail. He could quite happily fund "daddies magic flying carpet" or whatever he likes to call it by selling some of the ridiculously extravagent and completely unused toys he has upstairs.

e.g.:
3 (yes that's THREE) parachutes. And no, he can't use them at the same time, and he also has a reserve on top of that. These alone are worth more than the car he wants. They haven't been used in about 2 years.
2 surf boards. One of which he is too errr heavy to use.
A racing motorbike. That he has raced twice and cannot be used on the road without a lot of work.
Another motorbike. That is no longer officially classed as a "toy" because he uses it for work. Fair enough, until he hurt his arm last week and now it's useless.
Diving kit. Too much to mention. Everything a diver could want.
Skis, boots, all skiing gear. Admittedly not worth much 2nd hand.
Climbing gear. ditto.
Archery kit. Too much to list.
There is probably more that I have forgotten.

I have added up what he has spent so far this year on his "hobbies" (from OUR savings) and it is well over £1000. Includes new wetsuit, new diving gear (which arrived too late to be used on holiday...), archery stuff and his latest hobby which is gliding. Gliding alone has cost more than £500 this year but there is no kit to show for that.

So I am putting my foot down.

Enough is enough. I spend a fraction of that on my hobbies. I don't think I could spend as much as him if I tried. I'm not stopping him having a fun car. I just don't want to be the mug funding it. Or half of it.

AIBU?

holidayarenice your post made me laugh!
Yes you have a point.
But for MrFireBlade to "take back control" of our savings would suggest that he did once have control, and that he had the ability or interest to do so. None of which are true. The only I reason I control the finances is that he can't be bothered. Whenever I try to discuss money with him he starts yawning.