We need a 2nd car. AIBU to want a “fun car?”

[FireBlade918]

Hi,

I'm dropping down to 4 day working week to look after my daughter on Fridays. Wife is building up to a 4 day working week so DD will have a 3 day nursery week. Up to now I've been using my motorbike to commute to work (while Wife on maternity) but Wife will now have car on Fridays so we need a second car otherwise DD & I will be confined to the village on Fridays. The car will just be used for Friday adventures with DD, we already have have a sensible car for sensible chores.

So am I being unreasonable to want a fun car - aka ?Daddies magic flying carpet ? ???

In terms of cash we have more than enough savings that DW enjoys controlling. The savings have been earn't jointly i.e. 50/50. We moved house a year ago, spent lots, still have lots of work/expenditure ahead but all in budget. Its not a question of funding. Sensible / Boring the car will still cost the same.

Basically, if we elect to buy a sensible (boring) 5 door front wheel drive car then Wife is happy to use our savings i.e. the money is ?allowed? to come out of ?our savings?. If I want a 2 door rear wheel drive rag top (fun car) then I have to sell ?my toys? to fund it.

AIBU or is she being manipulative?

Kind regards,
Mr Fire Blade

Fantastic!

Now that we've got both sides ... OP sell some of your shit and buy a car.

OP, sell your shit.

Also - boring voice, your DD is much safer in the back seat for a good few years yet, so I don't think a 2 seater is a good choice anyway.

OP, sell your shit.

You are worse than my husband by the sounds of it. Our garage is clogged with:

Gym equipment that hasn't been used in ELEVEN YEARS.
Archery equipment that hasn't been used since his teens, so roughly TWENTY YEARS
Weights that haven't been used in FIFTEEN YEARS.

But he wants to buy a treadmill. No no no no no. Sell your shit OP!

Ho ho OP, you've been rumbled :o
RVF400 well spotted :o

SO now we have both perspectives and sadly yes, OP YABU if you do have that amount of crap things stored away unused (DH is a serial hoarder so your DW has my utmost sympathy)
Why not use the £2000 budgeted for the car, sell some of your toys and buy a really great flying carpet that you can all enjoy :)

2 seater exciting car suggests that your fun is more of a priority than your DD's safety.

Plus no fun for the 3 of you together! No back up car when sensible family motor breaks down/needs servicing etc.

Agree with the chickenkeeper OP sell your shit....

then you can fund what you like.

Personally tho' I would get a car that can (if necessary) seat all the family. Our 2nd car is a 4 seater (family of 5) and it's an absolute bugger when our main car is off the road (servicing etc) to transport all of us.

This is awkward.

you might want to think of leasing one rather than buying one - i had a brand new mazda mx5 a few years ago 600 pounds down and 170 a month inc tax that way you are not breaking into your savings as such and its only for say two years and you have a brand new car with no hassle ect

RVF I think that YOU should have the fun car on a Friday, and leave DH with something sensible to take DD out in.

I have this problem.

You should sell your parachutes, at least one of your motorbikes and anything else you don't need or won't use.

Then you can buy an even nicer fun car

I'm with the Mrs.

RVF; Why not get him to put a sidecar on the bike?
That will solve Fridays and ruin the rest of his week in one fell swoop!

How will you get the 'fun' daddy's flying magic carpet out of the village in the snow, pray tell?

YANBU buy a fun car. Why dose your wife control the money? You like controlling women? Doesn't sound much fun should have married me

I'm with the mrs.

OP - thought you were being reasonable but RVF400 makes some interesting points.

How about you meet each other half way? OP sell £1000 worth of your shit and RVF agrees to fund £1000 from joint savings (and RVF gets the fun car on her Fun day with DD)

Hi Honey,

I?m pleased to see that you are prepared to discuss this now :0)

1. I missed out some ?irrelevant detail? because it is ?irrelevant?. They are ?my toys? bought with ?my money? that ?I earned?. They ?don?t cost? anything to keep, and to replace them at a later date for a short term cash gain is a false economy.

2. Extravagant verses essential is open to debate. You are going too look a bit underdressed jumping out of a plane from 14000 feet with out a parachute!!!

3. No I haven?t jumped/raced since DD dropped in. I don?t have enough cash / time at the moment. I have been very busy buying the new house and sorting it out for the family & trying to be a Dad. In just 3 years time, when we aren?t paying £600/month on childcare, maybe I might be able to play with them again?

4. We need a 2nd car and you are manipulating the situation to get rid of my toys, so yes you are being unreasonable and these nice people have already taken the time to tell you.

Regards,
Mr Fire Blade

Is this for real? Or is op playing the part of both parties?
For god sake talk to each other - stop chatting about it on the bloody Internet!

Being married doesn't stop you being an adult with independent thoughts. I for one am not going to lie on my deathbed and look back on 40 years of a life being held back. I love my man a huge amount and rarely do we come to blows but, seriously, I am 38 now, I live life every single day before it's too late. I have a Hummer by the way, fun and also an enjoyable way to annoy my leftie family. If my husband wanted to take up scuba diving or travelling alone I wouldn't think I had any power to tell him he is not allowed. God, life flickers by so fast, if you have savings spend some of them and enjoy the day. Tomorrow might be different.

Blimey that was awkward.

I felt like I was sat on the couch in between the two of them

I was going to get my phone out and pretend I'm texting someone

Me too.

So... how's the weather been where you are Worra?

" They are ?my toys? bought with ?my money? that ?I earned? "

How nice.

Why the hell would anyone need a car to avoid one day a week stuck at home

Given the amount cars cost to run that has to be a bonkers idea.

I vote for the Mrs too by the way, no one needs 3 parachutes!!

I like to watch a good row, personally.

Given it's normally me doing my best fishwife impression with dh, it's refreshing to have a ring side seat for someone else's slanging match. This one is a bit too civilised for my liking though, you need to start channelling your inner Jeremy Kyle Mr and Mrs Fireblade

I am sure he is a spendthrift but I just don't understand why life has to be so bloody hard. If you can afford it, get the car. If not don't. And if the two people in the partnership don't agree, sit down and talk about it. I am not a spendthrift but I have certainly had to learn not to take in any animals without telling him first. It really upset him when he came home to a 4th stray dog in a week, with a stinky chattering monkey in the kitchen and a macaw dive bombing him. We talked and I agreed not to do that to him anymore unless we both agreed to it. New pup chewing my toe as I type.