We need a 2nd car. AIBU to want a “fun car?”

[FireBlade918]

Hi,

I'm dropping down to 4 day working week to look after my daughter on Fridays. Wife is building up to a 4 day working week so DD will have a 3 day nursery week. Up to now I've been using my motorbike to commute to work (while Wife on maternity) but Wife will now have car on Fridays so we need a second car otherwise DD & I will be confined to the village on Fridays. The car will just be used for Friday adventures with DD, we already have have a sensible car for sensible chores.

So am I being unreasonable to want a fun car - aka ?Daddies magic flying carpet ? ???

In terms of cash we have more than enough savings that DW enjoys controlling. The savings have been earn't jointly i.e. 50/50. We moved house a year ago, spent lots, still have lots of work/expenditure ahead but all in budget. Its not a question of funding. Sensible / Boring the car will still cost the same.

Basically, if we elect to buy a sensible (boring) 5 door front wheel drive car then Wife is happy to use our savings i.e. the money is ?allowed? to come out of ?our savings?. If I want a 2 door rear wheel drive rag top (fun car) then I have to sell ?my toys? to fund it.

AIBU or is she being manipulative?

Kind regards,
Mr Fire Blade

Loving the 'matching' usernames

Fireblade and RVF :)

Buy an MX-5 and share it. Life's too short to drive boring cars when you can afford something fun.

You can pick up a lovely MkII for a few grand. Look on the MX-5 boards for buying advice.

You already have a family car so the second car doesn't need to transport more than two.

You will need to sell at least some of your unused toys however.

DS and I have immense fun driving mine. We only put the top up if it's raining and we can race people at lights (RVF400 may choose to ignore that point) as it has plenty of poke. Being rear wheel drive is ace, but as you hopefully realise requires a different driving style.

Sometimes I let DP use it but he prefers comfort. You can get carseats to fit and you can turn off the passenger airbag - but when we got mine ds had outgrown that stage.

One of the great benefits to dp of me having a car that I love to drive is that I always offer to be the designated driver on nights out that require car travel.

Awwww at "stinky chattering monkey"

I like monkeys :)

Monkeys are lovely but not in the kitchen. sadly have had a few fosters, they sell them in the pet shops here. They are very very smelly

poor smelly monkeys :(

Hmmm, I hear fireblade is a bit of a spendthrift, wonder if he wants to buy some animals? No monkeys but plenty of dogs and free fleas and ticks thrown in...

Can you shampoo monkeys?

did someone call in a domestic?

im still deciding who is being unreasonable. in the meantime i can referee if required.

how about a compromise - why not sell some of the stuff to fund the car - you surely cannot use 3 parachutes? what about the racing bike that is not being used? why not sell some of it for the car, and use some of the savings, then compromise on the car a little?

vicar, you are indeed the voice of reason, good idea

Eek, complicated (this is like a Myerson family dispute).

Sell some toys, she's right, you tend to waste some money.

Separately, another car is reasonable. Make sure the air bag situation is reasonable (safe enough) with your child in front seat.

We already have a huge bus, & I have been badly hankering after also owning a Smart Car myself, but circs now are that a very small 4-5 seater (like a Micra, Seicento) would make a huge amount more sense.

I suggested that Vicar and it brought out a terrible tantrum about 'his' money, toys and earnings.

I should also like to say that you would look extremely overdressed jumping out of a plane in three parachutes

I hate the my money your money. I wouldn't be happy with that at all. we just have money, we are a bit shit with it and probably spend too much but who earns more doesn't matter. we are a partnership of 2 independent adults who can decide for themselves and between us what to buy. Do we really need everything he buys?, not at all. The rule I have is a new tv is fine but the old one gets given away and not to rich expats but people who earn less than the cost of that tv (or thereabouts) a month.

My assistant at work earns £900 a month to support his entire family in India and pay the healthcare debts they have. We have already paid off one loan and will hopefully have cleared his other one by the end of the year, then he can go home and see the baby who was born the day he left India and is now 4 and he has never seen her. He gets the tv and phones etc.

I think it's a shame that all this money being spent on one member of the family on expensive junk isn't being used to fund nice joint family activities and holidays. A 2 seater car is only fun for 2 people and there are 3 in the family.

yanbu

If you and your wife have worked to earn your cash it is your right to spend it on whatever you wish.

My sil and bil are on benefits and have 2 cars and a motorbike. They feed their kids on jam sandwiches, cannot afford to put the heating on and their water is being cut off. Kids have tatty clothes.

Oh and dad has just bought himself a new Wii and £2200 3D tv from Bright House.

So dont you feel guilty about spending hard earned cash on yourself!

this is funny

anyway, I think you should sell the toys, buy the cheaper more sensible car, and spend the money you've saved on meeee on something you'll both enjoy.

If all your money is shared money (as it should be if you're married) then snot fair for lots of it to be spent on things only one of you wants.

There are three of us, and one of our two cars being a 2-seater detracts not one tiny bit from any nice joint family activities. We don't only ever go out all three of us; often it's just the two. It it is the three of us then we take the family car, obviously.

I really think you should get the fun car.....as chosen by your DD, OP. I'm thinking a little fiat 500 convertible, colour pink, might be to her liking? Or if you can't afford that how about a beetle drop head with lots of nice flower stickers?

I think both sides have valid points, but apart from the money side of things, I think fireblade918 is being selfish by wanting a car that only seats two when they are a family of three.

Why is it selfish though? They have another car, and how often do you actually need to carry the whole family at once?

I think you should get the fun car, on condition that it is for all of you. Your wife can enjoy it alone, you can enjoy alone, both of you can enjoy it just Mum and Daughter/Dad and Daughter.

Your wife should use it regularly to commute (if she enjoys it that is). That's the main use of mine, and it gives me a little bit of joy every day.

The reason I thought it was selfish as it seemed to be a car that only he's going to get the most joy/benefit from and he's selling the idea as something fun he can do with his DD. They should come to a compromise and find a "fun" car that they can all use together at the very least.

HOLD FIRE, DISCUSSION OVER.

We've agreed to split savings & go back to the old, 10 yrs ago, way of doing money. Every thing is now 50/50. Separate bank accounts & 1 joint account for all bills.

I'll buy my fun car from my money, and she can go count her money till she goes blind or insane - which ever happens first!

Thanks for all your attention and contributions,

Life is too short.
Mr FB.

do you both earn the same then fireblade ?

Do you always talk about her in such a deprecating way?