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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

to ask what's soooo wrong with netmums?

300 replies

sassy34264 · 10/07/2012 16:13

noticed a lot of derogatory remarks about them.
what have they done?

OP posts:
Cheriefroufrou · 10/07/2012 18:27

thing is, the cross section of people who come across NMs are prob very similar to those that come across MN

but those that STAY on each is determined by the sites moderating rules etc to a large extent so IMO it is okay to generalise about which SITE is better to use because that is about who runs it and they are run differently

IMO MN has a much wider net, NM probably starts off with a similar group but the way it is run means that all but a few similar types end up staying?

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 10/07/2012 18:28

They have HVs etc who are employed by NMs to give advice. They are ok (apart from the repeating things - its bloody THERE already you dont have to reflect and repeat!)
It can be a very useful site for parents who wouldnt cope with the blunter side of MN.

I was on it for years and years. I used to go on a lot then I started popping back when I was trying to avoid essays, housework etc.

But it really winds me up. I cant get past the racism and ignorance on there anymore.

So many posters are parroting what they have read in the papers or heard their OH's say without trying to think about it.

BUT there are some genuinely lovely people on there who wouldnt like it on here.

EmpressOfTheSevenOceans · 10/07/2012 18:29

You've been reading Chaos's spreadsheets, haven't you?

Dprince · 10/07/2012 18:31

See at least some are verified on there. I am glad about that. Bounty seems to let anyone claim to be anything, give dangerous advice and delete this that challenge it.

scottishmummy · 10/07/2012 18:31

i dont get the opposition there's room for many sites
to cater to many needs and preferences
mn aint be all end all of forums

Tamisara · 10/07/2012 18:32

MrsDeVere I thought I'd seen you on NM :)

I agree the parent supporters don't always give the best advice. It's like they're afraid to go against the other more 'assertive' posters.

I can't get on NM anymore. DH banned it. To be honest I don't think it helped me much (I joined there long before here).

I asked for a lot of advice from their midwives/HVs when I was pregnant last year, and knew there was something wrong. I got lots of advice about how the health care proffesionals looking after me knew what they were doing... pah!

After DD2 died, I posted a lot in the pregnancy/drop in clinic bit, whenever anyone had reduced movements in late pregnancy. I was once pasted by some young girl who disagreed with what I typed, basically reassuring the OP that everything was fine as long as she'd felt movements in the last 24 hours. When challenged she said that her midwife had told her this, and the midwife knew more than me. I wanted to rip her head off.

I don't really miss it. It was good for some things, but a lot of the time people are so 'luvvy'. The relationships board makes me laugh. Men who cheat are almost excused as "men will be men".

Maryz · 10/07/2012 18:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

5madthings · 10/07/2012 18:33

i have only ever read it when bored, never posted.

do the hv follow official advice ie re weaning and making up formula? if so that is good i guess.

grannysbigbloomers · 10/07/2012 18:39

There is surely only on way to solve this..........

Fight!!

I am still pissing my pants at the JK and Kirstie Allsopp comparison.

TuftyFinch · 10/07/2012 18:41

Empress, it was in the MN magazine. October edition.

Cheriefroufrou · 10/07/2012 18:48

but scottishmummy, to me its like saying "I don't see the point in objecting to disablist shit in the daily mail/ rape myths on facebook, because there are other newspapers, facebook groups!"

The way NM is moderated means the crap gets through to some vulnerable posters, and the posts that question it giving the thread some balance get deleted

it can be vile and dangerous

scottishmummy · 10/07/2012 18:51

oh tosh
people complain mn is disablist/anti-benefits/too moderated/under moderated
online forums always evoke a strong reaction

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 10/07/2012 18:52

Twelve hours, four minutes and seventeen seconds since my last shit......

Cheriefroufrou · 10/07/2012 18:53

My local NM board allows some very dangerous accusations and chinese rumours to fly around about individuals in the community, considering the stuff they delete y'ld think they'ld be more careful with stuff like that!

scottishmummy · 10/07/2012 18:53

no.cherie daily mail is linked on mn daily.mnetters love dm
mnhq had a collaboration with dm to share posts,generate a column

EmpressOfTheSevenOceans · 10/07/2012 18:53

Thanks Tufty. I'll have a look.

Cheriefroufrou · 10/07/2012 18:55

okay well obviously there's a lot of posts on each so each of our experiences are gonna be a bit different

I haven't seen anything DANGEROUS on MN that wasn't dealt with and have seen shockingly dangerous stuff on NM unchallenged or moderated, with only people who challenge it getting moderated!

usualsuspect · 10/07/2012 18:56

Do you think none of the above happens on MN?

FuckityFuckFuck · 10/07/2012 18:57

I started off on NM Blush

They can be absolutely vicious about other women, but men are generally excused 'men will be men hee hee. Hun, what can you do to make sure he doesn't cheat again, you must stay with him for the children'

One woman posted how if she had FF, then she wouldn't be able to look her children in the eye and she would have failed them at the most basic level...People agreed with her and compared FFing to child abuse, actual child abuse Shock

scottishmummy · 10/07/2012 18:57

lol,ive read some right ole keech on mn usually regards nursery of formula feeding.some v strident but rotten advice.followed by cries of links to research please
both netmums and mumsnet have their share of heidbangers. no site is better than other

usualsuspect · 10/07/2012 18:58

Well tbh , I've seen those sort of comments on MN.

Cheriefroufrou · 10/07/2012 18:59

"Do you think none of the above happens on MN?"

course it does but more balanced replies are allowed to level it out

there's wacky individuals everywhere

cocolepew · 10/07/2012 19:00

There's plenty of self opinionated righteous wankers on MN as well.

Cheriefroufrou · 10/07/2012 19:00

that's what I mean, it has the same sort of traffic comming into it, but its what HAPPENS when these things get posted is very different on each site

scottishmummy · 10/07/2012 19:01

funniest i read on mn was posters whose boobs ached for ff babies
as they are deprived of natural nutrition.apparently
and her boobs ache in pain for the weans with a bottle shoved in gob

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