AIBU re: Nursery and Food

[thisismyAIBUname]

I'm a bit pissed off with nursery but not sure whether I am BU and a bit PSB.

I went back to work on Monday from maternity leave. DD2 is 9.5 months and BF. She is weaning well and will eat most food but still loves her milk, however, she is a bottle refuser. She loves yoghurt though, and when I have not been there to feed her before I went back to work, she has been fine with food, greek yoghurt and water.

The nursery she is in is the same one DD1 went to for four years and is generally very good. It is a small nursery (35 places across 4 rooms), has excellent facilities and a low staff turnover amongst the room leaders (3 of the 4 room leaders have been there since DD1 started.

I took DD2 there for an hour a couple of weeks before I started back to work to discuss things with the room leader. I asked her to remind me what sort of puddings they gave the kids - she said yoghurt and fruit, ice cream, fruit pies and custard. I was a bit and said I would prefer it if DD didn't have ice cream or custard until she was over 1.

She went for her first day on Monday. They had sausages, potatoes and veg for lunch and ham sandwiches for afternoon snack.

Today they had chicken pie but then her day sheet said ice cream.

Now as it is she is having a bit of a tough time of it - major separation anxiety plus she is a bit under the weather so she refused all food today and the ham sandwich on Monday. However, I am more than a bit that they are offering ham to babies under 12 months at all given the salt content, especially after a meal containing sausages which are also likely to be salty. I am also surprised that they think ice cream and custard are appropriate for under 12 months but am really pissed off they ignored my instructions that I didn't want DD2 to have them.

Would I be unreasonable to enquire with the manager on Monday whether they are using low salt ham and sausages and low sugar / baby ice cream and custard and if not WTF they are thinking giving them to babies? And also raising the fact that I specifically did not want DD having ice cream?

Thats just bloody rude Tracey some people can't afford to 'structure' their lives to have 1 parent at home!

My DSs nursery was fab!

Ham is salty mind.

Tracey? Do you want to try and ruin ham for everyone?

Oh and BTW I was a stay at home parent so I am not being defensive - just outraged by your rude comment!

Many of the childcare settings are brilliant quality and if you pay for the care it should be excellent care regardless!

Tracey why don't you toddle off and eat a sausage.

My DD went to nursery from 3 months because i couldn't afford to have any more time off and she was a very happy, social little girl who has grown into a confident 6 year old. I don't for one minute regret sending her to nursery! TraceyWasALoner you say not to go into these things until you can afford it, if that was the case, loads of people would never ever end up with a baby that they so desperately want! I think you've taken this post away from what the OP was asking and have tried turning it around to make mums/dads feel bad for sending their DC to nursery. Its not working!

TraceyWasALoner I'm sorry I didn't realise you were psychic and knew my situation. You know about immigration and whether people are allowed to work and trying to deal with death in the family and divorce and illness and surprises and unexpected pregnancies and the fact that I thought I was never going to have children when I got my mortgage.

You are awesome and perfect in every way.

You are being totally reasonable. At my son's nursery they each have a laminated placemat with their picture and banned foods. We also have to regularly complete a form to say which foods they are not allowed to have. This is very sloppy of them...they should have this information recorded and the staff should be aware of it.

It is rude. You're right!

It's not that hard, however. We didn't have our first baby until we could afford to have options with regards to their care. If you shackle yourself to an expensive mortgage very early on, then you are kind of option-less when it comes to the care of any future children. Oops! We bought our first place on one salary which gave us flexibility.

I'm baffled that people expect profit-motivated institutions staffed by degenerates daycare centres to take care of their babies as a parent would.

Charllie, I desperately want a horse of my own but very sadly, I cannot afford it at the moment. They are very expensive and time consuming and I'm just not at the stage of life where I can commit . One day, perhaps!

Tracey that last dig at charllie was really unkind.

and saying that child carers are degenerates is utterly disgusting

I like it! Namechange?

Do you really mean that? That childcare staff are degenerates? Surely you were using exaggeration and hyperbole, yes?

Apologies, didn't realise that wasn't allowed. First time I've had something deleted.......feel very naughty.

Not sure I can accept that you really believe what you're saying and if you are posting simply for effect. I will naturally accept that you have the courage of your conviction ...and are not just bored and there's nothing on telly at this time of night.

I suppose you reserve your greatest level of disgust, Tracey, for those of us who finances would allow to be SAHMs but choose not to, for our own selfish reasons.

My DS has a lovely time with the 'degenerates' that work at his nursery. One of them is pregnant. Will she be responsible enough to look after her own child?

yanbu op

Tracey, some of us want to work thanks, that doesn't mean we should accept our childcare providers doing the opposite of what we have asked.

I had a child knowing full well that I woud be able to afford to do what I wanted to which was to go back to work and pay for childcare.

tracey if you have never sent your children to nursery how are you aware that the people who work there are degenerates ?

Sorry whaever you think ham and sausages are processed foods, with high salt content, and god knows what in them, totally inappropriate for a 9 month baby fgs!!! The menue is probably on a rota so the babies will get this probably once a week. I would be having words with the manager. You pay a lot for nursery and expect reasonable standard of food.

YANBU. Our baby room (under 2's) never have sausages, however my own children have had them at home (naice sausages of course). The ice cream is less of an issue as it's clearly not every day but if you are unhappy about it then remind them. They may not have 'ignored' your request but perhaps made a mistake.

Tracey degenerates? Well thanks for that, that makes someone like me, who works hard as a nursery nurse every day, feel just super. I put a lot of thought and effort into the care and development of the children I care for.

I suspect that I may have to hide this thread at some point, as these kind always seem to have a number of charming posters telling everyone that no one should use nurseries, as all the staff are morons who couldn't get another job. *sigh

I work in a day nursery, we make a low salt menu for the DCs, cook everything from scratch, have a rolling 4 week menu, source fresh ingredients locally etc.
I don't see the problem with custard though, it's milk with cornflour and anatto (a natural yellow colour), assuming the nursery use Bird's custard powder as we do.
I am offended at the "degenerate" comment, nursery nurses are generally better qualified than other similarly paid professions, and I have a BA in Early Years.
We work hard for little money, many of us can barely afford our own childcare, but we do listen to parents wishes and accommodate them as best we can.
OP, I hope you manage to resolve your situation, don't go vegetarian though, as meat substitutes are often as salty, and can be harder for babies to digest as they are often high fibre.

I think Tracey is a sausage hating nanny touting for trade.

You think that's bad, my SIL's health visitor gave her a list of suitable weaning foods for her 4 month old ..... it included cooked cocktail sausages and Quavers.