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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU re: Nursery and Food

137 replies

thisismyAIBUname · 05/07/2012 19:24

I'm a bit pissed off with nursery but not sure whether I am BU and a bit PSB.

I went back to work on Monday from maternity leave. DD2 is 9.5 months and BF. She is weaning well and will eat most food but still loves her milk, however, she is a bottle refuser. She loves yoghurt though, and when I have not been there to feed her before I went back to work, she has been fine with food, greek yoghurt and water.

The nursery she is in is the same one DD1 went to for four years and is generally very good. It is a small nursery (35 places across 4 rooms), has excellent facilities and a low staff turnover amongst the room leaders (3 of the 4 room leaders have been there since DD1 started.

I took DD2 there for an hour a couple of weeks before I started back to work to discuss things with the room leader. I asked her to remind me what sort of puddings they gave the kids - she said yoghurt and fruit, ice cream, fruit pies and custard. I was a bit Hmm and said I would prefer it if DD didn't have ice cream or custard until she was over 1.

She went for her first day on Monday. They had sausages, potatoes and veg for lunch and ham sandwiches for afternoon snack.

Today they had chicken pie but then her day sheet said ice cream.

Now as it is she is having a bit of a tough time of it - major separation anxiety plus she is a bit under the weather so she refused all food today and the ham sandwich on Monday. However, I am more than a bit Hmm that they are offering ham to babies under 12 months at all given the salt content, especially after a meal containing sausages which are also likely to be salty. I am also surprised that they think ice cream and custard are appropriate for under 12 months but am really pissed off they ignored my instructions that I didn't want DD2 to have them.

Would I be unreasonable to enquire with the manager on Monday whether they are using low salt ham and sausages and low sugar / baby ice cream and custard and if not WTF they are thinking giving them to babies? And also raising the fact that I specifically did not want DD having ice cream?

OP posts:
pigletmania · 05/07/2012 22:10

Even once a week is too much, it's high salt content and bulked with rubbish

squeakytoy · 05/07/2012 22:11

You dont even know what sausages they were Piglet... not all sausages are cheap and crap.

pigletmania · 05/07/2012 22:11

Erm yes and that why it's not good food to give to a baby

pigletmania · 05/07/2012 22:12

How do you know that they are not cheap and crap

Sirzy · 05/07/2012 22:13

Ds has been having sausages since he was around that age without issue. Any at home at butchers 'proper' sausage but the occasional not so good sausage isn't going to cause any harm.

I just can't get upset about a baby being fed a sausage, it's hardly the end of the world.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 05/07/2012 22:15

YANBU, and I am shocked that so many people seem to think YABU.

This is a 9 month old baby! 9 month old babies should not be having ice cream as part of a normal daily meal!

It's not going to hurt, but personally I'd want to be ale to give my baby his frost taste of ice cream and it would be for a special occasion, not just because it was a Tuesday.

PinguFanatic · 05/07/2012 22:17

Do they a offer a vegetarian option that you could go with until they are a year old.

thinkfast · 05/07/2012 22:24

YANBU!!! I'd be furious. There's no nutritional benefit to ice cream - fruit and yoghurt would be much better.

RandomNumbers · 05/07/2012 22:26

yes vege might be the way to go

Stase · 05/07/2012 22:26

YANBU When my oldest started nursery I said he want to have sausages or ice cream and he was 11 months old. I think quick meal solutions like baked beans and treat puddings are for busy working parents to use, and professional child care providers should be giving them better stuff, especially for the money they charge.

Cashncarry · 05/07/2012 22:26

YANBU or PFB

I have three DC, the youngest of whom is 16 months and still doesn't have processed food or sweet treats. My view is that there's plenty of time to fight over the junk food issue when they're older so fill em up with the healthy stuff when they can't complain!

I do agree with the poster that said that you should have taken a look at the menu prior to putting DC2 full time. My DC2 was also ebf and ft at nursery at 9 months. Like yours he was a bottle refuser but also dairy intolerant. Prior to putting him back to nursery, I had to fill in some forms on diet so they were aware e.g. if he was spoon fed/blw, vegetarian, what foods I didn't want him to eat and so on. I can't recall that there were any problems and our nursery is a similar size/turnover to yours.

Perhaps now is the time to prepare a detailed handover sheet with do's and don'ts and make it clear what foods are not acceptable. Make sure you meet with the room leader/manager and really ram the point home. Don't worry too much if it makes you look PFB - I've been like that with all three of mine and the nursery staff are great with me even if they inwardly roll their eyes. On the dessert issue, you might want to provide alternatives as I did with dairy free stuff but that seems a bit much when you just would rather your DC2 eat healthier stuff like fruit.

slowlyburningcalories · 05/07/2012 22:32

YANBU or PFB

A few months ago we had real issues getting our DD to sleep, it took hours for her to wind down. We texted a friend who said her DC (also at the nursery) was the same. Checked the daysheet and she had had cake THREE times that day! Asked the staff about it the next day and they admitted they thought that there was too much cake so we both wrote to the manager asking her to take a closer look at the sugar and salt content. The menu's were revised and they have a more balanced diet and their baked beans are made from scratch so tastier and no salt.

Its a balance - but the nursery do need to respect your wishes. I found putting it in writing and handing it over was the best way. I have dropped in occasionally at meal times and its chaos so everyone needs to be aware of your wishes.

olimpia · 05/07/2012 22:33

squeakytoy meals at nursery and school are usually on a rota so the same completely unhealthy meal would reoccur at least once a week. Even assuming that all the other meals are healthy, I still think that at that she they should always have age appropriate meals. You're not supposed to give them salty stuff 'cause their kidneys can't handle the salt content efficiently.
Where's the OP anyway?

blisterpack · 05/07/2012 22:34

YANBU. Sausages and ice cream? This is a baby of under one. Of course it's not acceptable.

LadyWidmerpool · 05/07/2012 22:37

There's no chance it was just a mistake on the sheet?

FunnysInLaJardin · 05/07/2012 22:38

PSB. Thats all. Really. Stay at home and feed her yourself. Is work not giving you enough to think about?

FunnysInLaJardin · 05/07/2012 22:39

My DC have eaten sausages and ice-cream from birth and they are fine.

Icelollycraving · 05/07/2012 22:39

Yanbu. Ds has just started at nursery & he is almost 1. I was given the choice of baby or toddler menu for him. I was asked if there were any foods I didn't want him eating. Everything on the menus I was fine with. In his first week I was a little Hmm about him eating cheese on toast for tea a few days.
Then I thought about it. The menu is healthy,organic & you pick your battles. Saying that,I wouldn't be hugely happy to see ice cream or sausages on the menu at such a very young age. Speak up.

blisterpack · 05/07/2012 22:39

Funnys I hope your last post was a joke.

5madthings · 05/07/2012 22:41

not all sausages are crap and a bit of ice cream, i doubt it was much more than a few spoonfulls isnt that bad really, not everyday but as a treat. i guess as you said you didnt want her to have it they shouldnt have given it to her, and if that is the case just reiterate that fact.

tho the yogurt they give her may well have just as much sugar as the ice cream does unless its plain natural yougurt.

FunnysInLaJardin · 05/07/2012 22:44

no blister it wasn't. Why should it be. My DC have eaten what the family eat from when they were weaned. Its sausages and ice-cream, not glyphosphate and rat poison. Some people need more to think about

attheendoftheday · 05/07/2012 22:45

I would be unhappy about my dd being given icecream at that young age. Especially as you specifically asked them not to. I'm surprised a nursery would feed sugary products to under 1s anyway.

YANBU.

FunnysInLaJardin · 05/07/2012 22:45

what is wrong with cheese on toast?

PoppyWearer · 05/07/2012 22:47

YANBU.

I am pretty relaxed about my DCs' diet, having been raised on fish fingers and Angel Delight myself, but ice cream and sausages for a 9mo is not on.

My DC2 is 10mo and has had a taste of good quality ice cream but good quality sausages, whilst a regular part of DC1's diet, are strictly off-limits for babies, IMHO. And I thought ice cream should have been as well, risks of food poisoning?

choceyes · 05/07/2012 22:47

Yanbu. I would not be happy with a under 1YR old having sugary puddings or crappy (they are unlikely to be good ones are they) sausages. However you will find that the vast majority of mumsnetters find it quite reasonable as I found out by posting a aibu on whether I wbu to think my 12 month old should not be getting jam sandwiches and tinned spaghetti hoops at nursery.