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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU re: Nursery and Food

137 replies

thisismyAIBUname · 05/07/2012 19:24

I'm a bit pissed off with nursery but not sure whether I am BU and a bit PSB.

I went back to work on Monday from maternity leave. DD2 is 9.5 months and BF. She is weaning well and will eat most food but still loves her milk, however, she is a bottle refuser. She loves yoghurt though, and when I have not been there to feed her before I went back to work, she has been fine with food, greek yoghurt and water.

The nursery she is in is the same one DD1 went to for four years and is generally very good. It is a small nursery (35 places across 4 rooms), has excellent facilities and a low staff turnover amongst the room leaders (3 of the 4 room leaders have been there since DD1 started.

I took DD2 there for an hour a couple of weeks before I started back to work to discuss things with the room leader. I asked her to remind me what sort of puddings they gave the kids - she said yoghurt and fruit, ice cream, fruit pies and custard. I was a bit Hmm and said I would prefer it if DD didn't have ice cream or custard until she was over 1.

She went for her first day on Monday. They had sausages, potatoes and veg for lunch and ham sandwiches for afternoon snack.

Today they had chicken pie but then her day sheet said ice cream.

Now as it is she is having a bit of a tough time of it - major separation anxiety plus she is a bit under the weather so she refused all food today and the ham sandwich on Monday. However, I am more than a bit Hmm that they are offering ham to babies under 12 months at all given the salt content, especially after a meal containing sausages which are also likely to be salty. I am also surprised that they think ice cream and custard are appropriate for under 12 months but am really pissed off they ignored my instructions that I didn't want DD2 to have them.

Would I be unreasonable to enquire with the manager on Monday whether they are using low salt ham and sausages and low sugar / baby ice cream and custard and if not WTF they are thinking giving them to babies? And also raising the fact that I specifically did not want DD having ice cream?

OP posts:
coocoocachoo · 05/07/2012 22:47

I wouldn't be happy with ice cream and suasages or ham, They certainly don't feature in the menu of the nursery we use. Closest that they have come is on the ice cream front when the kids (including my 12 month old) made ice lollies from fruit pulp and water.

I don't feed my baby sausages at home and certainly don't intend to pay someone else £50 a day to do it on my behalf - especially against my express wishes.

I don't think YABU and I really wouldn't put myself in the PFB category. If not liking the idea of salt and fat filled sausages and sugar laden ice cream is PFB, then happy to be thought so.

eragon · 05/07/2012 22:48

agree about the sausages and processed meat, totally. not suitable for under 1 yrs imo.

but, it might turn out that the custard is lower in sugar than the yogurt, after all the petit filou contain 2 teaspoons of sugar.

If you want to control the food your child really eats , provide it yourself. its the only way to make sure in my opinon.

bear in mind that the menu in nurseries often sounds ok, but it doesnt mean its all a high quality. The school meals trust and the National Daycare Trust are looking in to this, as its quite well known that some day nurseries do not provide good menus.

many moons ago i worked in a varity of day nurseries, one made a profit on the food costs, cook was paid a pittance, and i used 'cook' in a very loose way.... and another gave instant potato to under 6 month olds as a weaning food. only one, attached to a sure start centre had fantastic food.
wittnessed a roast lamb dinner all cooked from scratch, and a homemade pudding. I near fainted in shock, and boy! did those kids LOVE their food.

btw a lot of fruit isnt that good for small people as well, too much acid on teeth and high fibre , acidic food in little tummies.

PoppyWearer · 05/07/2012 22:49

It's one thing choosing to give these foods to your DCs in a home environment. Quite another for a paid childcare provider to do so.

(I do think cheese on toast is fine though, gave it to DC2 quite early on in his weaning.)

Icelollycraving · 05/07/2012 22:49

I just was surprised it was served more than once in a week. Tbh he ate it & he liked it. I just haven't ever made it for him. He eats well though.

Stase · 05/07/2012 22:49

I would prefer to be the one giving the DCs treats when I feel like it, and the meals at nursery should be proper meals. Otherwise I have to seriously up my game to balance it out! Wink
I also want to able to put the odd treat on DS1s lunch box without one of the supervisors mentioning it to him. The school dinner menu has some kind of pudding with custard every day!
OP say something and stick to your guns. Sounds like they could do with improving the food for everyone.

blisterpack · 05/07/2012 22:56

You said from birth funnys!

Icelollycraving · 05/07/2012 22:58

Maybe it came along with the tea & toast on the delivery suite :)

WhosPickleisThatOnion · 05/07/2012 23:00

What so wrong with a bit of ice cream?

hawkmoon269 · 05/07/2012 23:00

Yanbu. If you think that 9 months old is too young for ice cream then 9 months is too young! Your child, your food rules. Substituting ice cream for yoghurt must be possible, surely.

If you're really worried, can you provide a portion of yoghurt every day?

I do understand that this is probably more about separation anxiety (on both your parts). So you're being super sensitive but with good reason! You'll probably feel better once you've talked to the nursery staff again...

BeehavingBaby · 05/07/2012 23:00

Another YANBU - would request a veggie menu.

WhosPickleisThatOnion · 05/07/2012 23:01

I mean this sincerely btw.

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/07/2012 23:06

No, it is not recommended to give babies under 1 any salt at all and also no ice cream under (variously depending in the sources) 10-12 months. Why the hell would you? Why not just give them normal food?

YANBU.

hawkmoon269 · 05/07/2012 23:07

whospickle Babies don't need processed sugar. Ice cream had a lot of sugar in it. Nothing wrong with ice cream for older children sometimes but why would you give it to a 9 mo? It's not as though they're asking for it or won't be just as happy with yoghurt (natural plain yoghurt with some fruit for example). Why wouldn't the op want the absolute best for her baby?

hawkmoon269 · 05/07/2012 23:08

has a lot of sugar. Not had

TraceyWasALoner · 05/07/2012 23:14

Seriously? Isn't this a repeat of a post last week?

Here's a clue: If you look after your baby yourself then you can decide what you'd like her to eat. I wouldn't have liked mine looked after by clueless people eating sausages and ice-cream as babies either, which is why DH and I structured our life in such a way that we could have one parent stay at home.

Hope that helps Smile.

WhosPickleisThatOnion · 05/07/2012 23:15

I suppose. There is a lot of sugar in come yogurts though, depending on what they would use. Look at petit filous.

You said no ice cream op so it won't hurt to have a word.

WhosPickleisThatOnion · 05/07/2012 23:18

Ds nursery has the odd thing on the menu. One time he had a smarties cookie for pud, now that's a bit wrong. However the staff love him and he is happy and that's the main thing.

I'm pretty strict at home. I don't mind him having some treats but then he is over one.

charllie · 05/07/2012 23:23

I've worked in nurseries for the last 13+ years and i'd never dream of going against a parents wishes! A nursery setting should cater for each child as an individual, they wouldn't give meat to a vegetarian would they! This is no different. Your personal preference for what your child can and can't have, you have every right to have them, so yes, i think you should say something on Monday to the manager. YANBU

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/07/2012 23:24

TraceyWasALonerthat is cheap, nasty shot. Not everyone, with the best will in the world can structure their lives like that. Unless you want to pay my mortgage... I can't stand the idea that because we pay for care, it will be shit. You know what, my childcare provider is awesome, gives DD exactly what I want and I would trust her with my life. Which is a good job, because i do trust her with my life, DD.

WhosPickleisThatOnion · 05/07/2012 23:27

Oh yes I agree terry no need.

TraceyWasALoner · 05/07/2012 23:28

...cured meat products, such as ham and sausage (containing nitrates/nitrites) are known to be carcinogenic in animals.

Cashncarry · 05/07/2012 23:29

Ignore Tracey.

She's a Loner.

WhosPickleisThatOnion · 05/07/2012 23:30

So lets all give up work then in case our babies get sausages like you then, you shining beacon of motherhood!

MrsSutherland · 05/07/2012 23:31

The odd bit of ice cream for under 1's is fine if YOU decide its fine. My 2 mainly had fresh food under one, they occasionally had fish fingers and oven chips, sometimes sausage mash and beans but I would not be that happy with a nursery providing meals for under 1's like that. I can assure you I have never been PFB about these sorts of things either! I wouldn't say ham is an issue though!

TraceyWasALoner · 05/07/2012 23:33

Actually, Mrs. Terry, it is quite possible. Don't enter into a mortgage situation with an eye towards family UNTIL you can afford to have a responsible person parent stay at home with potential offspring. Just because you have to pay for something, doesn't guarantee it's good quality...