To email the school re a man at the bus stop???

[JumpingThroughHoops]

Well I have emailed, so no AIBU about it really

Yesterday (Friday) 20 mins after primary school ended I saw a man at the bus stop outside the school. The bus stop usually has a large amount of teenaged girls waiting from the secondary opposite.

He was by himself indicating a bus had just been; there were no other adults or children around.

BUT. Earlier that morning the same man was at the primary sports day. He wasn't with a lady (for that read wife or partner), no reason why he should have been really, he might have been a single dad. BUT. He was chatting with another father, or rather he was listening as the other father waxed lyrical, pointing out his children and all their little friends, getting them to wave over.

Two months previous, I was on a train and he sat opposite me, with a French lady with two small girls (maybe 3 and 5). I assumed they were together, he knew their names. He carried their suitcase. I assumed the stilted conversation was because the lady didn't have English as a first language. I also assumed they were together because he was teasing one of the girls until she screamed in frustration. He was also asking lots of questions, but not in an obvious way, such as "when do you go home?" What are you doing tomorrow?" "is your Dad missing you?" - which of course I was oblivious to on the train because it was general chit chat.

See him at sports day and think it's that annoying wind up merchant again "oh, I didn't know there were little French girls at this school". There aren't any little French girls at the school and they were too young to be in the KS3 sports day anyway.

See him at the bus stop and think "hang on a min" gut instinct kicks in, something just isn't right here.

So I've emailed school with a full description, a set of circumstances and no accusations, because he wasn't actually doing anything suspiciously.

*disclaimer, I don't see a paedophile behind every tree, but I am a believer in gut instinct. I don't know why the red flags shot up when I saw him again. Probably because he was a bit of charmer, again not in an obvious way, he was just very good at ferreting out information from people.

Probably an entirely coincidental set of innocent circumstances and he is a listener rather than a talker.

Would you have emailed the school?

Paedophile*

No concern but still that email could leak without all the qualifying details. Chinese whispers do happen, people do act upon them. Paediatrican = paedophile in some people's eyes. Jo Yeates's landlord definitely killed her.

There are paedophiles out there who predate on children where and as they find the chance.

I don't think Pag was saying there weren't. But the vast majority are known to the family and by focusing so much on stranger danger we're missing that.

They say 90% of gut instinct is correct.

Good old Chris Morris hit the nail on the head:

video.google.com/videoplay?docid=9031532194656768989

"They say 90% of gut instinct is correct."

Who say?

How have they tested this?

Who is 'they' Holy?! I know from studying psychology that a high percentage of communication is non verbal (body language, tone etc) but psychologists are divided over the actual percentage and it is definitely not the same as the gut instinct we are talking about in the OP.

'they' who??

What do I know?

My father was a paedophile who got away with it. But he wasn't the only one who did. There was also that man who sat next to me in a movie house and shoved his hand up my skirt. My father had already groomed into freeze frame so I did nothing about it.

Stranger danger is real.

No-one is saying it's not Damsel.

I know it's the mail, but...

Gut instinct: www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2031848/Why-right-trust-gut-instincts-Scientists-discover-decision-IS-right-one.html

I know that seeker, I am just s peakingmore generally.

I think in OP's case, what I would have done if I had felt something in this mans behaviour was odd, was actually walked up to him and said:
"Oh, hello. I seem to be seeing you all over the place! I'm NowThen-" and then waited for him to introduce himself, and maybe find out whether he had a child there or whatever.

Stranger dang is real. But it's not as big a danger as "uncle" danger. And that isn't a very big danger.

And "man waiting for a bus at a bus stop" danger is non- existent.

That article in the Mail you reference Damsel: "Their study explores how the unconscious mind responds to objects in relation to an individual's goals."

So not anything to do with the topic of discussion here really then.

And: "She says in the case of thirst, items such as a water fountain or a bottle of Coke will be seen favourably, while a chocolate bar or KFC sign would not."

Groundbreaking stuff...

Trust your gut instincts it may be inoccent but all you are doing it raising concern I would have done the same thing

It may not be a "BIG DANGER" as you put it, but it's out there all the same. Which is why the OP has reacted as she has. Her gut instinct, which posters have poo-pooed on this thread too, even though it does exist, kicked in and she acted upon it.

The reason so many paedophiles get away with their crimes is because too many people are too busy turning a blind eye. In families too!!!!

That DM link is nothing to do with this ??

Irrational hysteria also exists. And people act upon that too.

And no crime has been committed in the OP to turn a blind eye to. The two aren't mutually exclusive. There must be a position where you act upon something that has actually happened and don't act upon a baseless hunch.

That link was about gut instinct which is being denied by many on here.

The OP doesn't sound hysterical to me. She sounds concerned.

That daily mail article seems to be saying that if we're thirsty we look on a drinking fountain as a good thing, but if we aren't we regard it neutrally. An excellent use of research funding.......

I didn't say she sounded hysterical.

The link was a specific use of gut instinct ie the subconscious mind in achieving personal goals and needs, nothing to do with gut instinct about third parties.

Concerned about what?

I'd you actually read the link, Damsel- or just the headline?

I think this thread has just proved itself. Many people not reading into things properly and jump to conclusions.

I posted it to show gut instinct exist, though some deny it.

here is another one

experiencelife.com/article/5-gut-instincts-you-shouldnt-ignore/