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Original poster

To lose all faith in humanity after another awful tube journey pregnant?

127 replies

starsandswallows · 28/06/2012 19:28

A bit of a rant, need to vent my frustration. I'm 28 weeks pregnant with twins, obviously pregnant and still have a few weeks to go commuting into work on the tube.

So far no one has offered me a seat, I've tried asking and suddenly everyone is busy rummaging through their handbags/reading newspapers/faffing with phones etc.

Now I know other people may have reasons they need to sit down that you wouldn't be able to tell just from looking at them, but surely not everyone commuting on the tube? I get 2 different tubes into work and home again, on there for about 35 minutes in total and bump is starting to feel really horrible and heavy trying to stand for so long. Surely it can't be just me?

OP posts:
BIWItheBold · 28/06/2012 19:29

Do you ask generally, or do you ask a specific person?

madmomma · 28/06/2012 19:32

That's so sad, and unfortunately I've found the same throughout my pregnancies too. It beggars belief doesn't it. Let me tell you; if I ever saw my son studiously ignore a standing pregnant woman I would beat seven shades of shit out of him. Womankind will win in the end! I do hope your mat leave starts soon and that you get some pampering at home.Smile

AThingInYourLife · 28/06/2012 19:33

That is shocking.

Shit, if you asked for a seat and I was not feeling too wrecked, I'd give you a seat and I'm 39 weeks pregnant.

RubyFakeNails · 28/06/2012 19:33

Do you have the badge? What line are you using?

I have honestly never seen this, apart form when its been packed and the pregnant woman can't physically get to the seats.

What did you ask just out of curiosity?

somewherewest · 28/06/2012 19:35

Thats really sad. My MIL fainted on the Tube while standing when pregnant thirty years ago so nothing new.

ExpatAl · 28/06/2012 19:35

I cannot believe people actually ignore you when you've asked. That's incredibly ignorant.

wimblehorse · 28/06/2012 19:41

Wow, sounds horrible. And strange as I get the tube 3 days/week am only 20 weeks pregnant and feeling fine so don't need a seat, but am usually offered one. Only times I have not been are when tube is packed and so I am squeezed in near the door so no-one seated would have been aware of me. If I had needed a seat I would totally expect someone to offer one when asked (to the carriage rather than to a specific person).
What lines?

Noqontrol · 28/06/2012 19:42

I remember getting on the tube with a broken leg and crutches, and not one single person offered me a seat, even the ones in the priority seats. They just looked up and then quickly buried their heads in their newspapers.

Weasleyismyking · 28/06/2012 19:43

I'm really surprised by this. On the rare occasion I had to catch a tube when heavily pregnant, people made a massive effort to make a path to the seats so someone could offer to stand, which they always did. (sorry, not bragging!)
My experience on my daily overground commute was that I stood crammed in the doorway unable to reach a hold.

very sad that you're not being assisted

madmomma · 28/06/2012 19:45

I also regularly see very frail old people standing on the tram while fit young men relax in the seats. Boils my piss so badly!

greenplastictrees · 28/06/2012 20:06

I'm surprised by this too but how awful for you!:( I would suggest asking specifically one of the people in the special seats (forgotten what they are called by the ones for pregnant/disabled people). If they have the cheek to actually refuse to move then I expect that they will get a few nasty looks from other people and someone else will jump up.

I've not noticed pregnant people on a few occasions and jumped up as soon as I have. Usually the person next to me hasn't noticed either until I've offered to get up then suddenly they jump up too.

rogersmellyonthetelly · 28/06/2012 20:11

Doesn't surprise me at all! I did 12 weeks in a full leg cast and crutches on the tube, and no-one ever offered me a seat. I even fell over at one point and an elderly gent helped me up and asked if no-one would stand so I could sit, we had the same response with shuffling newspapers, avoiding eye contact thing.

MrsApplepants · 28/06/2012 20:13

Not the tube, but a London bus. Got on, very obviously heavily pregnant, all seats full apart from one, next to a window, I walk over, ask the man sitting in the aisle seat, very politely, to move so that I could get to the free seat next to window. He said no, pointed to the free seat and it was only then that I saw it was being sat in by his small dog. I said, 'I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant and your dog will be just as happy sitting on the floor' he then begrudgingly gave me the seat. Old ladies tittering at him. I took taxis from then on.

So no, doesn't surprise me in the slightest. OP, you have my sympathies.

Longtalljosie · 28/06/2012 20:15

Why aren't you directly asking the person sat in the priority seat? If you make a general appeal, no-one feels obliged. There's a picture of a pregnant woman above the priority seat for a reason...

MrsApplepants · 28/06/2012 20:19

Oh and forgot, on tube, again heavily pregnant, no one offers seat, do was standing, bloke sitting in closest seat right in front of me used my bump to prop his copy of the FT against! I was Shock said 'do you mind?' very loudly and then the woman sitting next to him offered me her seat, which I gladly took. Bloke just smirked. Wanted to ram his newspaper up his bum!

MrsApplepants · 28/06/2012 20:19

do = so

thestringcheesemassacre · 28/06/2012 20:22

Yes agree with Josie ask the priority seat person. Very calmly and VERY LOUDLY to move out of the seat. Point to the sign for extra effect.

FoxyRoxy · 28/06/2012 20:24

On most tube trains now there are pictures of pregnant women embroidered into the actual seat cover of the priority seats. They're the ones nearest the doors anyway, just ask someone in that seat. I don't live in the uk anymore but during my first pregnancy it was always the ones that looked least likely to offer who gave up their seat, like young men who looked a bit "street". The suited "gentlemen" used to ignore me.

goingeversoslowlymad · 28/06/2012 20:27

I remember having to stand on a crowded bus at 8 months pregnant. Unfortunately the bus had a collision with a cyclist and I ended up getting thrown to the floor. The driver got out of his cab to check I was OK and went mental when he realised I was pregnant. The paramedic who boarded the bus was also pretty disgusted too. Nothing surprises me these days.

cocoachannel · 28/06/2012 20:29

It amazes me when I read these threads as I never failed to be offered a seat when pregnant and showing. When I wasn't showing, and needed one if feeling faint/sick, I asked and people obliged every time.

Sorry OP, maybe you're commuters aren't as lovely as the Balham crowd.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 28/06/2012 20:30

Honestly - people have always been great during my pgs. I dont look pregnant for ages but when I did they would always offer me a seat.
It was worse at the beginning because I feel hidious and could have done with a lie down, never mind a sit down.

If I see a pregnant woman I always offer my seat but quite a few times I have looked up at the end of my journey and realised there is a poor woman standing virtually in front of me and I never noticed Blush

I honestly think people are oblivious and a lot are terrified of causing offence in case you are not really pregnant.
I thought this was nonsense because I thought I looked pregnant but lots of people told me they didnt know until I told them.

Sorry you are feeling horrible. This weather cant be helping Sad

FriskyMare · 28/06/2012 20:30

I remember being offered a seat on a train from Leeds to Hull years ago to visit (now) DH.Was tired after a hard day at work so gratefully accepted.I was a bit Blush when the lovely gentleman adjusted his false leg so he could stand up and I (healthy fit non pg 20 something) could sit down!

goingeversoslowlymad · 28/06/2012 20:31

foxy I found it was mainly old men that used to offer their seats to me. Very sad.

worryingovernothing · 28/06/2012 20:31

I've been there, OP, and it's horrible. I just used to go up to the person sitting in the priority seat (assuming they weren't pg, or obviously old and frail), pointed at the sign and said "I'm sorry, but can I sit down please" in a way that wasn't really a question iyswim. Noone ever refused. I got sick of standing with my massive bump sticking out in everyone's faces, and having everyone turn the other way.

The only people who ever gave up their seat without me having to ask were young foreign tourists, old men and young women, oddly.

I fainted once (whilst pg) on a busy train and only one person helped me. The other passengers just stared!

HandMini · 28/06/2012 20:31

As others have said, are you asking people singly and directly?

I had only good experiences commuting while pregnant in London on tube and overground. I didn't wear a baby on board badge, but I did tell people I was pregnant when I asked if they would mind giving me their seat.