To lose all faith in humanity after another awful tube journey pregnant?

[starsandswallows]

A bit of a rant, need to vent my frustration. I'm 28 weeks pregnant with twins, obviously pregnant and still have a few weeks to go commuting into work on the tube.

So far no one has offered me a seat, I've tried asking and suddenly everyone is busy rummaging through their handbags/reading newspapers/faffing with phones etc.

Now I know other people may have reasons they need to sit down that you wouldn't be able to tell just from looking at them, but surely not everyone commuting on the tube? I get 2 different tubes into work and home again, on there for about 35 minutes in total and bump is starting to feel really horrible and heavy trying to stand for so long. Surely it can't be just me?

It is interesting. I've always found people in London VERY polite. A girl collapsed in the Tube just before Christmas and EVERYONE rushed to help, offered water, hankies, chocolate. She got off at my stop and I saw two people she didn't know walking her back to her house.

It is VERY hard to see if someone's pregnant. I think people shouldn't wait to be offered - those seats are for disabled/elderly/pregnant people, so ask for them. It is your right.

When I most wanted a seat I was to early on to get one when I was bigger I wasn't as fussed.

that's shocking OP, I would give you a seat.

I've noticed as well men are more likely to offer seats then women selfish old hags!!!!

Yes, women are selfish hags aren't they?

You have to ask one person sitting in the priority seat. Go up and say 'excuse me, I need to sit down'. I guarantee 100% they will listen.

It's London FGS - people on the tube put themselves into a mental bubble to cope with being overcrowded the whole time. When was the last time you got up when an older person who was less able to stand got on? Or did you just put your head down and hope that someone else stood up?

I get the tube everyday and I've never seen this. In fact I often see people giving up their seats for women with baby on board badges.

Humanity's not as hopeless as you think OP!

I did see a guy give up his seat to a woman the other day who looked sort of pregnant at first glance but was actually just wearing a slightly unflattering top. Awkward.

Women who can see a woman suffering and not be decent yes they are. yellowraincoat

I have no time for this 'you cannot ever insult a woman' crap especially when men are fair game to (arse, w*r, b**d , ) every name under the sun by the exact same people.

I won't be rising to you're defensive provocation, have a nice day .

You just did rise to my provocation. So.

I don't care if you insult a specific women, some women are unpleasant. But when you insult women in general, it sort of makes you look like a tool.

Oh and also you totally invalidate your argument by classing me as someone who doesn't insult women but generalises about men. It's simply not true in my case, I'm an equal opportunities insulter.

I'm not insulting women in general I am insulting women who the ignore heavily pregnant women on tube/buses etc.

people like that deserve to be insulted so I think I'll sleep tonight.

I very much doubt a comment about a man in that context would be jumped on in the same way, just from what I have seen I very much doubt it.

when you twist my posts just to have a pop , kind of makes you look like a tool. so yeah have a nice life

If I have offended anyone with that comment, my apologies,
I was referring to women who will blatantly ignore a heavily pg woman on a bus in need of a seat.

not the entire female population.

Wow, I've really got your back up, haven't I?

I've never done it pregnant but have two walking sticks due to disability. If you're feeling brave enough first ask those in priority seats to give one up for you, if that fails make a very big show of clumsily climbing down to sit on the floor taking up as much space as humanly possible, if anyone comments state very loudly that you are quite simply unable to stand for the duration of the journey, and when some ignorant git finally offers you a seat get at least two people to help you up off the floor again. To be honest I prefer to turn down the seat when it's finally offered, by the time I've got down onto the floor it's so much hassle to get up again that I'd rather stay put until I have to move, but then I don't use public transport very much. Be big and loud and make damn sure everyone knows what you're doing, it takes courage but people need to see and be ashamed.

Wow, I've really got your back up, haven't I?

no, you said I was referring to women in general , which a normal person could probably see that I wasn't . But you struggled to see that so I pointed it out to you, several times

anyway enough of the derail.

you are quite an argumentative poster so I'm not gonna fuel the fire.

Sure thing.

Um, I'm normal and I thought your post was sexist and aged.

Ageist

So sorry to hear of your experience, OP. My heart goes out to you. It upsets me too, although I had mostly good luck with this when I was pregnant. London does seem worse than other cities for this, but I think this is unfortunately the case in many large cities which are overcrowded - it doesn't bring out the best in people.

Please keep asking

I remember vividly being the only person on a packed bus (in Liverpool) that got up to let an elderly man with two walking sticks sit down. I was about 28 weeks with twins at that point. So obviously pregnant.

I very loudly exclaimed that wasn't it funny how only the woman pregnant with twins got up? Everybody suddenly got very busy reading their papers, but no one offered me a seat!

Was the only time though.

It's a problem all over the UK as far as I can tell. When pregnant with ds2 I used the staff bus at work everyday upto 20 weeks. No one offered me a seat and I was huge from 12 weeks. We went to
Blackpool one evening to see the illuminations an I was on crutche with SPD and the team inspector refused to let me one because I couldn't says with crutches and there were no seats and he wouldn't even let dh on to ask anyone I give up their seat! The following team had "no change"so we had to wait again. I wrote a massive letter and got fobbed off with "we don't have to comply with dd act
Because the trams are old!"

I always offer my seat. Always.

So sorry to hear of your troubles OP. I'm really shocked on your behalf as I live in London and was always offered a seat while obviously pregnant with my baby on board badge on. I'd do like the others suggest and go up to someone in a priority seat and politely but firmly say you are carrying twins and need to sit down. Repeat if ignored. Maybe talk to work about early maternity leave, adjusted hours so not travelling during peak times? Please look after yourself. Your babies are depending on you!

Amazed by this. Whenever I am on the tube I see people falling over themselves to offer elderly people or obviously pregnant women a seat.

OP, are you noticeably pregnant? I would worry about offending someone by assuming they were pregnant unless it was really obvious.

I am very very surprised that you asked and people refused. Hard to believe.

I really feel for you - i am fine at walking and moving but if i have to stand for any lenght of time i struggle and start to feel dizzy...i would also go for the sit on the floor! perhaps at someones feet.....just hope it doesnt turn out to be a non showing 12 weeks pregnant girl who feels very sick!

so sorry OP, really. I am, staggered people are so selfish

sometimes I think it only seems to be mothers that offer their seats

You should really have to ask for people to stand, its disgusting that no one would offer at all! Its also quite dangerous as trains/tube can jerk about a bit.

This happened to me on a journey home from London at 7 months pregnant (I was huge). My friend shouted at everybody and said I can't believe no one will stand up so my friend can sit down so one lady said I am getting off at the next stop so she can have my seat then (about 15 mins away) - unbelievable!