AIBU to think ils giving sil 75k for no apparent reason is rather strange?

[dreamsofshopping]

Hi, sil recently told my dh that their parents had paid this amount off her mortgage. She is early 30s, no dc and earns a very good wage. I know that it is none of our business, their choice and though such a gesture towards my husband wouldn't be turned down we are comfortable for which I am very grateful for. Dh states that he has no issues with this at all, which is great. I have no siblings so cannot relate. However Aibu? to think this is rather odd, why did she tell him? Just before I'm asked, I am not the biggest fan of the sil (or mil) so am abit biased for the start!

Financial arrangements between the ILS and SIL, as you said, aren't really any of your business. Neither are discussions between siblings. One only hopes they last out another 7 years so there is no tax to pay on the gift.

I think there is probably some info that you don't know regarding the situation.

YABU

Poor you, knowing this. Unfortunately you now just have to forget about it- no good will come out of ever mentioning it even.

There will be a reason, even if not apparent to you.

Its none of your business.

Well.....I would be internally and massively put out and it would eat away at me. However, it is none of your business, and you must just leave it now.

hollowly]]]]

{{{{{{{laughs hollowly}}}}}}}}

Well, who wouldn't wonder? I think there may be tax reasons. You give the money in life rather than as an inheritance. That sort of thing. What I don't understand is how when SIL said to your DH, "This is what Mum and Dad have done?" he didn't ask, "How come?" I mean, why not ask her?

It's not really anything to do with you tbh.

My inlaws helped towards my sil when she was buying her first and second home,we don't know how much she was given we only found out when mil passed away and the solicitor told dh he was to get a cheque for x amount in lieu of monies given to sil.
When dh asked sil if this was fair she said yes,so she could have been given x amount or y amount,we don't know and I doubt we ever will.
She is the favoured child as are her dc,is your sil the favoured one?

Why do people keep saying it's none of the OP's busines? Of course it isn't. And she knows it isn't. But most of the really interesting things in life are not our business.

I love the moral high ground of these 'it's really nothing to do with you' posters.

OP - I would be extremely intrigued to find out why they had done this. Now you know, you can't unknow it.

There probably is some rational reason, but without knowing the story, it looks like favouritism.

It would annoy me.

Hmm, sounds a bit strange. There must be some backstory. If it were me, unreasonable or not, I would be pushing dh to ask his parents about it, in a casual, non-confrontational way

could have been in dire trouble and needed extreme assistance with mortgage...parents in a good position to bail her out...or maybe they have bought into her mortgage and now own part so sil can still have her home??...must be a good reason??

might be strange but probably has good reason I would think

it's that blood thicker than water thing...leave well alone...up to DH if he asks about it...maybe he already knows situ but just not saying...sworn to secrecy or something...don't fret though...and try not to get into it too much if he won't discuss it

sorry it might stick in your throat a bit though...it's not pleasant to wonder like that

Fair point nkf

Why did she tell your DH? That's what I would be a bit confused about. Are they so close that they discuss all of their financial affairs?

And yes, there must be something more to the story than you've been told.

Ooh yes, nkf, and why didn't he ask why? I would be incredibly nosy interested in why...

I agree with Chaos.

No reason that is apparent to you is not the same as no reason.

I expect there is more to it than you know, but it might have something to do with them giving it away in plenty of time so that it doesn't get hit with inheritance tax.

To those who say it it none of the OP's business - IMO the SIL made it her business by telling OP's DH. If she didn't want them to know, she shouldn't have told him.

I don't understand why he didn't ask why at the time though...

I would be desperately intrigued, but the title says "AIBU to think ... rather strange?" not "AIBU to be intrigued?"

No, it's not strange for parents to give money to their adult children and not very strange for them to not discuss it with you.

Thanks for the replies, I know its bob all to do with me I just think its strange! She is very spoilt, she got married and divorced within six months a few years back and hasn't settled since. All she wants is a family of her own and was very jealous of us when we had ds (i suffered a late Mc before ds so realise what is important in life) I really think they have done it to try and make her happy and secure. I have said all this to dh and again he is fine. I guess I just feel protective towards him in some way. She really isn't happy still so it hasn't worked.

I suspect she told dh because she feels guilty but I'm sure she has no need to feel like that. If your dh is on good terms with his parents, it's probably that they have that amount of cash free now and wanted to give sil a hand but think that you can wait afford to wait for your inheritance. Pil probably told sil to keep quiet to mimise fuss and that's bothered her.

They aren't that close at all so its strange that she told him?