AIBU to think ils giving sil 75k for no apparent reason is rather strange?

[dreamsofshopping]

Hi, sil recently told my dh that their parents had paid this amount off her mortgage. She is early 30s, no dc and earns a very good wage. I know that it is none of our business, their choice and though such a gesture towards my husband wouldn't be turned down we are comfortable for which I am very grateful for. Dh states that he has no issues with this at all, which is great. I have no siblings so cannot relate. However Aibu? to think this is rather odd, why did she tell him? Just before I'm asked, I am not the biggest fan of the sil (or mil) so am abit biased for the start!

Ha ha -I'm a total doormat. It took me 20 years and a thread on here to get the point where I stopped hoping that things would be fairer and raging against it- it won't and it never will be. My Dh told me this years ago but I couldn't really believe it.
I realised after all this time I am still regarded as an outsider and my dh and ds are second class citizens in that family and always will be no matter how nice we are or what we do I just thought fuck it.
Instead of dwelling on whatever nonsense happens I make my brain think of something else- takes a bit of practice and now it works ok. I used to get annoyed at dh zoning out whenever his parents and sister were being ridiculous but now I see it's the only way and it's a skill that can be learnt
It's unlikely your inlaws will start changing the way they conduct their relationships with their children at this stage in their lives you just have to disengage.

Thanks for the replies its always good to hear other views. I think rubberglove has hit the nail on the head, its the lack of communication which is annoying along with sil telling dh, why do that if it was a private arrangement? I'm not keen on them due to their treatment of dh in the past. We all had a big "clear the air" session a while back and it was agreed that we would be open about issues in the family so it has surprised me. I have no sense of entitlement at all, I wouldn't feel comfortable accepting such a large amount as I value their input as grandparents above anything else and they are great in that role. It's about treating two siblings equally.

dream,
Let it be.
Some parents , especially when well off, will Divide and Rule.
It is one of life's classics.

It just makes me sad though, that any parents could treat their kids unequally. In my opinion it leads to a lot of heartache.

But your right, you can't change it

My guess would be that your DH had lots of help when he was younger and they're evening things up.

You're being vicarious. it's not your issue. If it bothers your DH then he can say something.
Just don't give the matter brain space. As for mentioning it to cause a drama at Lunch, that won't make DH bad or awkward will it? And you're raising it because you feel bad for him?

albertswearengen

how funny about Dh zoning out - its taken me 6 years to realise why my DH does the same! Six years of trying to engage, fit in, zipping mouth, surpressing my opions etc and I too have learned the hard way - they will not change......we are boxed, DH is boxed and we will NEVER get out of that box no matter what we do.

What irriates me though is other DH relis - putting us into box oto without getting to know us or make effort with DH>

OP I totally understand your feelings on this but as others have said - you have to forget it for your own peace of mind, personally i would just be grateful that you are OK finacially ....and dont need that money too.

You dont know what will happen in the future, your DC may get lots - you dont know so try not to worry...

I know that it is none of our business

You said it!