Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to change dd's nappy on the bus?

537 replies

amieis · 24/06/2012 18:52

When we are still 30 mins from home and she's whingey?

OP posts:
everlong · 26/06/2012 13:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shullbit · 26/06/2012 13:55

She actually didn't change her nappy.

I thought you said you had read the thread?

Treblesallround · 26/06/2012 14:00

are you three really bored?

BlackOutTheSun · 26/06/2012 14:05

Yes and that's a problem because?

Treblesallround · 26/06/2012 14:08

Just asking. Not a problem.

crashdoll · 26/06/2012 14:12

everlong I'm glad you have a car too. I wouldn't like to be sitting next to you on a bus.

everlong · 26/06/2012 14:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

everlong · 26/06/2012 14:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KellyElly · 26/06/2012 14:30

Every time I see this thread still going I just think of the OP and her baby with a big fat nappy stuck in some kind of bus ground hog day just going round the same route for eternity Grin

LurkingAndLearningForNow · 26/06/2012 14:51

Okay due to lack of sleep (going on two full day/nights now..) and a shit day, I've been doing some soul searching while looking at my empathy tattoo.

I think if I'm to be honest with myself I don't have an issue with a mum in dire need changing a nappy. I just think given a bus is an enclosed space and have 'no escape' from something that for me, whether other people understand why or not, would genuinely cause me extreme discomfort. I don't expect a mother to ask me if she can change her child, that would be ridiculous. But given it's such an awkward situation, what's sooo wrong with just flashing a 'sorry' smile, and saying something along the lines of "my baby desperately needs to be changed, I wouldn't usually do this," then just doing it as discretely as humanly possible.

I guess my thinking it's a feral act doesn't come from the act itself at all. It's the whole 'I will just do it, and if it makes you uncomfortable you are an extremely unreasonable person' attitude I'm seeing in this thread that find trashy.

So yeah, I change my answer. In emergencies, if shown the tiniest bit of manners/empathy it's just not my natural reaction to judge. Babies are dependant creatures, I get it.

If a parent just did it on every bus then well yeah I'd find that odd.

Please people, stop being offended by my use of the word feral. I'm using it in it's Aussie slang terms, not the English meaning. :)

So after much soul searching, that's my 'heart's' answer, not my 'head's' answer I gave earlier.

everlong · 26/06/2012 14:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mathanxiety · 26/06/2012 14:55

Bogeyface -- 'The only ettiquette that applies to babies is looking after them properly.'

There is no discernible reason why this particular baby gets upset when her nappy is full. Therefore looking after her properly does not necessarily involve stripping her off on a filthy bus and putting on another.

When this baby learns to crawl and then walk, and indicates by her cries that she wants to be allowed to do this on a long bus trip or in a crowded restaurant, will 'looking after her properly' mean allowing her to crawl on the floor or toddle around no matter where she is? She will cry and fuss, no doubt, if she is not allowed to, and since your definition of 'looking after her properly' seems to mean responding to every cry she utters no matter where she is or what the circumstances, should she be expected to sit and not crawl or toddle around or should she be allowed to roam? She will be crawling in a few months if she is an average baby.

BlackOutTheSun · 26/06/2012 15:00

But no one had said that they change nappies on a bus for shits and giggles . To change on a bus there is a real need to do it.

amieis · 26/06/2012 15:12

everlong being a regular bus user (I've not learnt to drive yet) I find that a lot of people in general seem to be very critical of mums with babies using the bus. If a baby so much as whimpers on a bus, some people automatically get their judgy pants in a twitch and catbum the hell out of you because you're not attending immediately to what it is that is causing them to moan and so are disrupting their journey with noise. I can only assume that the mother was pulling faces at me because dd was getting increasingly agitated and making more and more noise, and her brood were perfectly quiet.
There's been occasions (on the same journey) where dd has woken up from a nap, decided she's hungry and screamed blue murder. Obviously not going to sit there and whip out a boob for her, and she wont take a bottle, so I've had to let her cry til I can get off. The amount of tuts and whispers about me being a bad parent I got made me want to cry!
Also, a lot of people said they would have asked permission, however the couple were not English and had struggled to communicate with the driver with regards to their destination, so most likely would not have understood had I asked them anyway, hence my asking here what other people would do.
and kelly I've been going round the bus route for two days now....its costing a fortune in fare Grin

OP posts:
KellyElly · 26/06/2012 15:17

amieis I hope you get off soon or you'll be bankrupt and your little one will have a raw bum (although I'm assuming after two days on the bus you've changed it by now Wink ) Grin

5madthings · 26/06/2012 15:20

amiesis why wouldnt you feed her on the bus, i have done loads of times! its fine honestly :)

and yes as others have said nappy changes on buses/trains arent done for fun they are done because needs must and i simply say 'sorry but baby needs changing' and smile politely and in a slightly embarrassed manner to the other passengers.

amieis · 26/06/2012 15:23

i ran out of clean ones 24 hours ago so shes going free and breezy now.....Wink

OP posts:
amieis · 26/06/2012 15:25

5madthings I have NEVER fed in public....people are far too critical and dd faffs a bit if shes sleepy so dont fancy giving people a flash of boob!

OP posts:
Treblesallround · 26/06/2012 15:27

Try it amieis, it's very liberating Smile

mathanxiety · 26/06/2012 15:31

I second Treble's suggestion.

5madthings · 26/06/2012 15:36

oh yes i know faffing babies are a pain but if i saw you i would just give you a friendly smile and a thumbs up, honestly it gets easier the more you do it :)

LurkingAndLearningForNow · 26/06/2012 15:54

Okay stupid OT question.
What does catbuming someone mean? Blush

5madthings · 26/06/2012 15:59

its a face someone makes when they are obviously annoyed with you/judging you, slightly pissed off etc.my mil has it down to a fine art, she doesnt have to say a word to express her disapproval, its all in her facial features!

PooPooInMyToes · 26/06/2012 16:01

Its that disapproving look with pursed lips so they look like a bum hole.

PooPooInMyToes · 26/06/2012 16:02

I assume more specifically a cats bum hole!