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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to change dd's nappy on the bus?

537 replies

amieis · 24/06/2012 18:52

When we are still 30 mins from home and she's whingey?

OP posts:
Shullbit · 26/06/2012 12:29

I think it's ridiculous. It is my job as a mother to care and look after my child, and that includes changing a nappy. Why should I need to ask permission to do so? It is MY job. No one else asks their permission to do their job, do they? Should I ask permission to breastfeed, given that some find that offensive? Would adults like to sit in their own urine/shit for an hour? Why should a little baby do so? It is a baby, they have no control and if it makes them uncomfortable, as it does with many children, then why should they have to sit in their urine soaked/shitty nappy just because adults are too bothered about themselves that they can't look the other way and not breathe through their noses for a few minutes?

And no, I have never changed a nappy on a bus as I have always had a car since having my two. But no way I would expect a mother to inconvenience herself, or expect the child to be uncomfortable for an hour because I am too bothered about myself if I did use public transport. How incredibly selfish that would make me. It's ok, I'm in my nice dry, clean clothes and being comfortable, just so long as my nose isn't offended? Hmm

And nasty, bad, blistered, bleeding nappy rashes can appear from nowhere. And you wouldn't know until you had removed the nappy. Just last Thursday night, I had bathed and put DS2 to bed for 7 with not so much as a slight red mark on his bum, by 11pm, he woke up screaming the place down. Upon changing his bum, he was red all over, with patches bleeding and I could of cried with him. You can only imagine how much it must hurt to have poo/piss on an open sore.

And to everlong, I think it is obvious they was crying due to wanting a nappy change when nothing else works, and they go straight back to being a happy, cheery little thing once their bums have been changed. I very much doubt that it is down to coincidence when it happens on a daily basis.

everlong · 26/06/2012 12:39

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BlackOutTheSun · 26/06/2012 12:47

Yes I do have the fucking right to change dd's nappy when it needs changing and I'll make no excuses for that! Don't like it tough shit

pumpkinsweetie · 26/06/2012 12:49

Why would i want to inflict my babies crying on anyone else, when i could simply change her bum?
I would rather not listen to 30mins-1hr of needless screaming from someone elses child, if all they needed was a nappy change

everlong · 26/06/2012 12:49

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squoosh · 26/06/2012 12:52

ugh

yabvu

BlackOutTheSun · 26/06/2012 12:53

Snob comes to my mind...

pumpkinsweetie · 26/06/2012 12:53

Common, feral etc, like you would see 'posh' people on a bus!
Feral= bought up like a wild animal which i can assure you doesn't include wearing a nappy

everlong · 26/06/2012 12:55

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Marne · 26/06/2012 12:55

I wouldn't be bothered if someone changed a nappy on a bus (as long as it wasn't a huge smelly one), i have changed many nappies on my lap to stop dd from crying (many years ago), i would rather the parent changed the nappy than have to listen to a screaming baby for 30 minutes.

CanIhavesomeginnowplease · 26/06/2012 12:59

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everlong · 26/06/2012 13:00

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Shullbit · 26/06/2012 13:00

everlong, I was also just answering your question which you have posted more than once. DS, fair enough, doesn't whinge if he has had a little wee. He does if it is enough to make it swell a bit though. I go through tonnes of nappies for this reason. He also screams the place down from the moment he has a poo. I hope (pray) that this means he will toilet train much easier than his older sibling did.

I wasn't being funny to you, btw. Just answering your question from my experience.

And I know that the OP's DD didn't have a rash. I was, again, answering those who seem to not believe that a nasty bad rash can come from nowhere, and at the time on the bus, the OP would not of known unless she had checked IE removing the nappy.

Personally, I am one of those who does panic about others around me and fret. But, I just begrudge being told I should ask permission to do a job that every parent needs to do. It is natural. An adult wouldn't like it.

And what if they are selfish individuals who say no? Why should the child suffer because the adults can't simply just look away, open a window if necessary, and not breathe through their noses for a few minutes if they get so offended?

I used to hate it when I got on a bus and someone absolutely stank of BO. They didn't ask me if I minded. I just turned away, opened a nearby window if it wasn't cold, and didn't use my nose. Simple.

It may not be an ideal place to change a nappy, but it is much better than the child being in discomfort and crying, possibly leading to a sore bum. We seem to be expected to be considerate to others, but these others aren't being considerate to the poor child who has no other option. Adults on a bus do. Don't sniff/breathe through your nose, turn away, open window if necessary.

everlong · 26/06/2012 13:09

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TantrumsAndBalloons · 26/06/2012 13:13

Change the nappy??

More pleasant than everyone on the bus having to smell it for the rest of the journey.

Quick change, in a nappy bag, job done.

everlong · 26/06/2012 13:13

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BlackOutTheSun · 26/06/2012 13:15

Change the nappy

Shullbit · 26/06/2012 13:18

Not that I would ever be in this situation, but if the child was screaming and in obvious discomfort, and by getting off the bus would cause too many issues IE extra bus fare I didn't have or a bus only being every hour, meaning making me late for an appointment or what not, then yes I would change their nappy.

Would you be happy to sit in your own piss/poo for half an hour plus? If not, why is it deemed ok for a child if they aren't happy to do so? Not all babies are comfortable being wet.

I could never just sit back and ignore my Childs obvious cries of distress, just like I couldn't with an adults.

everlong · 26/06/2012 13:21

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5madthings · 26/06/2012 13:23

i would just say to fellow passengers 'am very sorry but my baby needs their nappy changing or they will get sore' and change their nappy, i am acknowledging that they may not like it and being polite but i wouldnt leave my baby to sit in poo.

BlackOutTheSun · 26/06/2012 13:23

And?

BlackOutTheSun · 26/06/2012 13:25

It's not like I'm going to rub the dirty nappy in their face is it

everlong · 26/06/2012 13:25

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PooPooInMyToes · 26/06/2012 13:39

Op said some pages back that another passenger on the bus catbummouthed her for the rest of the journey. You can't please everyone.

Poor baby! She might not get visibly sore but she very obviously gets distressed when she's wet.

BlackOutTheSun · 26/06/2012 13:45

See damned if you do damned if you dont

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