To be offended when someone says 'I could never do your job'...

[BlueberryPancake]

I used to work for a management consultancy firm, and after having my children I retrained and am now childminding.

Every time I go out and meet new people, there will always be someone (a woman, or more than one) who will say something like 'god I'd never be able to do that' or my favourite one - said to me this last Saturday at a friend's party 'I went back to work after 6 weeks because I needed some mental stimulation, I don't know how you do this, working with babies and children all day, it would drive me crazy'.

I could go onand on with more examples. And I could explaining why I feel offended by those comments, but I just thought I'd let you know, you people out there: I think that my job is meanful, valuable, essential in our society, I take my role very seriously and do my best every day to stimulate and care for children from 4 months old. And I wish people, especially other women, would respect what I do and value it more. There.

I've been a wohm and am currently a sahm and have three children.
I occasionally get comments along the lines of: 'arn't you bored, don't you go mad, I couldn't do that', but I ignore it and feel a little sad for them being unable to enjoy their children because they grow up too damn fast.

Well tbh I can not remember saying it to a CM but I surely have said to some friends etc...
I personally wouldn't have use the word mess and talked about nappies because I have never seen that as a problem. But I know I would have no problem to say that I have an issue with spending all day, everyday with young children. that it would drive me up the wall and that I would find that boring (even with my own dcs).
I am struggling to see how this would be insensitive or not diplomatic. After all, if anything, I am the one who is saying I am struggling to spend the day with my own dcs and if anything it does reflect on me rather than the CM, who is has the courage and the patience to deal with tantrums, paint all over, singing the same song for the 10th time of the day etc...?

Actually I remember clearly saying to one of the girls at nursery (dc1 was a baby at the time) that I didn't know how she did and I would not be able to do that job ever.
She looked at me, her eyes were sparkling and she just said 'Oh no, that's fantastic. I enjoy myself so much looking after the babies'.
I can tell you that even now, if there is one person I would be happy and confident to leave a baby with it's her. Her love for the job was shinning through.
Interestingly enough, she didn't take it personally either.

I think it was the mental stimulation comment that was rude, not the rest. It is like the person was saying she was brighter than the OP.

Possibly if you had said to the nursery worker that you couldn't do the job because you need mental stimulation, her eyes would have been rather than sparkling. :o

See my post up thread
'mental stimulation' is insensitive only if you think that there is some sort of hierarchy in mentally stimulating activities and that everyone has/likes the same sort of mental stimulation though.

As people have said in this thread, not everyone think that X activity is mentally stimulating.
I have my own business, I find the paperwork, taxes, and account the most boring thing in the world. Obviously some people on this thread find that stimulating and my accountant (who is also a good friend) says she loves it.
This doesn't stop me from saying I find it boring and not stimulating.
She doesn't take offence to it though.
Is it perhaps because being an accountant is a recognized profession so she doesn't feel it as a personal attack whereas CM aren't recognized at the best of times and therefore feel it's a personal attack, even when it isn't?

Its not insensitive or mean or nasty when ITS TRUE!

So you find being with kids mentally stimulating..woop de do, isn't it great you have a job that stimulates you. I would not find it remotely stimulating in the slightest, mentally or otherwise.

Now, explain to me why me finding something different to you is insulting? It's the people who are assuming it means they are thought to be inferior who muct actually feel inferior, and thats your own problem. Not everything is about you, and nobody is thinking about it nearly as much as you are.

YABU. At one time or another, many of us have said "I could never be a child milder/ babysitter/ school teacher." It is a special kind of person who has that kind of patience with groups of children.

I also need to be with adults and would not survive having to stay with small children all day every day. That is what people mean by "mental stimulation".

I'm pretty sure GetOrf isn't Lewis Hamilton because I saw him by the pool this morning

My friend is a childminder and I tell her frequently I couldn't do her job and I mean it as a compliment.

I truely couldn't do it, I have no patience and would be arrested by lunchtime.

And as for the paperwork she has to do.....

lol at Lewis Hamilton I wish, then my girlfriend would be Nicole Sherzinger and I could nick her shoes and lipsticks.

That is an AMAZING stealth boast by Cote though

GetOrf I don't know LH, I was just visiting a friend who lives in his building. Nice big pool. He has super powers of snoozing in incredible noise (DS & his buddy screaming as they had a battle with water guns)

It was. I was trying to ignore it

What stealth boasts have I got.

None.

OOH I stood behind Mollie from the Saturdays at Paddington station last week. I text my teenage daughter to tell her and she said 'who?'

Oh the disappointment.

On I'm On, that line reads as 'when I stood behind Molli...'

So I clicked on it thinking it was Mollie Sugden.

Imagine my disappointment.

at Mollie Sugden

I know. That would have made my fucking day. But no. I get a teenie bopper in hot pants.

I did see Pauline Fowler (RIP) in Luton Airport once. I was stood behind her at baggage claim. I nearly swiped her handbag after they went through the x ray machines because it looked like mine. Imagine. I used to have a similar handbag to a pensioner who played Pauline Fowler. The shame.

I was sure you'd have my job when I clicked on this . . . but, no, you have one of the million others I couldn't do, not because it's vile or boring, but it's just not something I'd be any good at. Everyone gets this sort of comment at some point, don't they? With my (non-illustrious) career:

Job 1 - why on earth would you want to do that? I hate x. I can't think of anything more boring.

Job 2 - I could do that, but I wouldn't want to - aren't you a bit ashamed?

Job 3 - I could do that, but I wouldn't want to - aren't you a bit ashamed/ unable to sleep because you're such a fraud/the Devil's Spawn?

I saw that Fearne Cotton at Gatwick baggage reclaim once

I wouldn't have recognised her except she was on my flight and a stewardess tugged DH's sleeve and announced it. Then a senior stewardess sternly told her to sit down.

Fearne was skilfully incognito in enormous sunglasses that ensured that absolutely no one noticed her .

The only thing that gave it away was that the lights were so dim she had to keep raising her specs to read the luggage labels.

I'd reply that some are more mentally stable than others. :o

CrumpettyTree... you're in my favourite book ever .

were you Mollie Sugden's bridesmaid? :o
I would say "I could never do your job" to a childminder with respect and awe generally... I have nowhere near the levels of patience, tolerance, sense of fair play, goodness of nature etc needed for such a job! My job is a piece of piss.

It's lovely isn't it. :)

they are meaning you are good and your job patience etc etc take it as a compliment,