To be a little bit...doubtful about the way wine and alcohol are worshipped on MN?

[TheSpokenNerd]

I probably am going to get slated here...I drink now and then...maybe a bottle of wine a month with DH...there are SO many threads where people say

helps!

and "Is it wine o clock?"

and it seems like a real enabling kind of culture here...."Oh 4.30's not too early for wine!"

and that kind of thing.

AIBU to think that it's an unhelathy atitude?

[ducks]

Well that's how I read it. Perhaps you didn't intend that. The written word can be misinterpreted. If you didn't mean that then I am sorry and tis all good :) not that it was bad in first place :)

Why can't it end well? I sure we can have a reasoned discussion :)

Just rereading my posts as am doubting myself since what I meant seems to have been so misinterpreted. I read this again
MrsJay said "oh I like marmalade and i like vodka grin where can i get this i have tried apple flavoured vodka i didnt like it much"
You can try the most fantastically wonderful seville orange marmalade vodka here if you ever fancy an extravagent weekend away.

fanjo, my comments were sort of aimed into thin air rather than at a specific poster- I wasn't suggesting you thought anyone was a bad person...it's just a slightly annoying phrase I use a bit too much :o

A whole bottle of wine to oneself in one sitting isn't ideal. Two glasses of wine every night isn't ideal. I have been both a daily moderate drinker and an infrequent binge drinker.

But really the amount and frequency can be (though aren't always) a bit of a red herring. For me, warning signs were... Thinking about booze/planning drinking before it was going to happen. A frequent feeling that I 'deserved' a drink. Not always being able to stop at one. Getting myself into dangerous/embarrassing situations when drunk (including saying things that I later regretted). Feeling deeply depressed when hungover. We're all different but those are some of things that made me examine my drinking.

You just seem to want a fight Fanjo, which ime doesn't ever end well since I find it very difficult to not respond to comments and end up like my DD determined to have the last word

I don't think I said anything even approaching that Fanjo... what I said was that I had spent some years drinking to excess. I have never considered a couple of glasses a night as excessive. That would be my ideal!

How can me smiling and saying nice conciliatory things mean I want a fight?!

Like 'I am sorry if I misread you' :)

Nonastemia, if you reread my last posts I hope you will seem am beng friendly and NOT wanting a fight :)

• see I am being friendly..silly ipad

Waterlego,I agree with you, and it's so easy to slip into drinking a bit too much too

Fanjo you're not full of opprobrium - we all project our feelings onto other peoples posts, and can see all sorts of feelings/inflections that are not actually there.

waterlego Yes there is a lot of alcohol-based discussion on here (and RL), but talking, and doing, are two different things - which we were trying to point out to the OP originally.

Fuck yersh all i'll fight the lotofyersh

Aww I love cocker spaniels

No no Buppy, we are all mellow drinkers here

Do you want a pint Bups? of water

Well what I noticed was that MNHQ came on and posted in a humerous way about gin. You don't see them posting on threads about baby names, or on threads about school gate alphamums. And I think that is the kind of example that the OP meant - where there is an insidious acceptance and promotion of alcohol. Having a drink is fine, it's nice, it's great. But having a cup of tea is great too - don't see MNHQ posting that on this thread ?

Or a pint of whupass

Really all I was doing was reading the thread and seeing the replies that I would have posted (and still often feel) a few months ago, but seeing anew how defensive that sounded. I can still sound ultra defensive in my head (and in person) about drinking, and eating, and lots of other things too (my driving for instance, which I consider fluid and assertive, others sometimes do not... ). I was just observing what I saw as a characteristic in myself, really, I certainly wasn't intending to be smug. As I've spent more and more time examining when and why I drink though, I've really started to recognise the patterns more. I grew up in a pub, socialised in groups of hard drinking boys/men, took too many drugs in my 20s, am only just (nearly 40) starting to find ways of dealing with feeling shit/low/happy/depressed/having something to celebrate/commiserate/end a day of drudgery with DD that doesn't involve wine. I still don't always manage it (by a long shot) and I still love drinking sometimes. Really do. Nothing beats it.

But I am starting to recognise how prevalent the ' helps everything' belief is, and I honestly don't comprehend how people are doing the for everything thing if they don't mean it... this is only because when I do it, I really do mean it.

Well enough rambling. Peace