This is an ongoing saga in our relationship but basically dp has no self control at all so if something's in the house he'll eat it every day. If there's cream for a recipe and I don't use it for a couple of days, it'll be half gone. He's repeatedly asked me over the years to not have anything like that in the house (butter, cream, icecream, choc, crisps, baking anything is tutted at). When it was just us, I think I complied a bit more or we argued about it or I hid stuff I can't really remember.
But we have 4 dc (8, 5, 3yo dts) and most of the time there is stuff around although imo they don't eat much crap and I think (I could be wrong) that they have a fairly good diet with plenty of fruit, veg, wholegrains, protein and I'm happy to provide some snacks/treats. I stopped buying biscuits at dp's request some months ago, as he was eating most of them and he said he'd prefer the kids had better snacks. Now he's asked if he can throw out the (virtually full) 2.5L tub of icecream I had bought to keep for emergency puddings. Because he will eat it all otherwise, and I am not helping him and I don't care about him and I am getting the dc addicted to sugar as he is.
I don't know where to go with this, I'm really angry at him for telling me basically that I don't care about my dc's diet when I do all the grocery shopping and the vast majority of cooking too. I've found it difficult for years that he whinges about me having cream in the fridge to make custard etc, that I can't have a spare pack of biscuits when visitors come but most of all that I feel as though it's up to me to make up for his complete lack of self control. I have a problem with sugar too, I have been on weight watchers for a month and what's letting me down some of the time is wanting choc every day but I'm trying (and succeeding largely) to have a small amount and plan for it. Last night I had a bowl of the delicious iceceam as I'd planned for it. Then this morning he starts on about throwing it out.
We are having problems in our relationship and I'm struggling to feel much for him right now (getting over extended period of depression & anxiety). I'm not trying to hurt him but he sees it that way - I don't care enough to get this stuff out of the house. But he's a 40 year old man, why the hell should I remove everything that I and the kids like a bit of during the week because he can't control himself? He's so bloody weak and will admit he is but I'm fed up with the guilt every time I want to do some baking with the kids! If he had his way, I wouldn't have any pudding at all in the house, how the hell do I do that with 4 dc? Why can't they have pudding some nights? Last night it was jelly, sometimes it's banana and custard, or icecream and sprinkles and I made cake last week which I suspect he's thrown the rest out.
Opinions?