To consider gina?

[Pickles77]

Okay AIBU to consider buying a gina ford book? I have the mumsnet baby book which is great... But got the impression most mumsnetters don't approve of gina ford? I'm not sure I will, I'm just intrigued by the fuss? And want to be the best mum
I can be...

The acid test is "does it work" rather than "do you like what she is saying". Seems like it does for a lot of people.

Gina Ford has no childcare qualifications nor is she a mother. She also threatened to sue mumsnet and could have got us shut down. (She is however good at selling books.)

That's all you need to know IMO when deciding how much credence to give her ideas!

Specifically about putting a baby in a nursery. Well Pickles77 I think you'll be a great mum as your mum instincts are questioning that one already!

The government recommends keeping your baby close - in the same room as you in fact, until they're 6 months old, as it helps protect against SIDS (cot death).

Your baby learns to regulated their breathing by being close enough to you to hear your breathing and the CO2 from your breath own helps.

Routines suit some people and not others. What irks me about Gina Ford's books is that she claims that if you don't follow her routines that you're making a rod for your own back. Not so. For some people (like us for example) going with the flow and following our babies cues about when he was hungry / tired worked much better than spending hours trying to get him to go to sleep because the clock said so!

Also if you follow Gina Ford's routines to the letter it makes establishing breastfeeding very difficult. Babies often cluster feed in the evenings for example, and her routines do not allow for this.

I know some people like the routines, but personally I would steer cleer!

*own breath not breath own!

Three Gina had every right to threaten to as sue some of the comments were utterly appalling.

You can not be a mother and do a lot of things,doesn't mean your experience and views are worthless.

You don't like routines,who made you god and master on how to raise babies?

Oh and she's good at selling books because they're bloody brilliant. Don't even know where my copy is as so many people have borrowed,loved and used it.

"You don't like routines,who made you god and master on how to raise babies?"

Where does she get the professional authority to give advice on how to breastfeed when she is entirely untrained and unqualifed?

Because that's what the books do.

They tell you how to feed a breastfed newborn.

"Oh and she's good at selling books because they're bloody brilliant"

If have no confidence in your own common sense or mothering instinct then they are very good indeed.

But I'm very glad I didn't need them.

Rockpool - I don't think ThreeLeft suggested she was 'god and master' of anything. She recounted the facts on the legal situation with no value judgement comments and she specifically said "Routines suit some people and not others." before giving her personal opinion. I don't really see what in that post made you so cross?

Well I obviously didn't have any confidence or common sense as once I started following her routines my dd (then 3mo) went from constantly crying to being a happy and contented little baby .

I think the whole point of routines is that you meet the babies needs before the baby has to scream to get them met. I like having structure and routine to my life so of course a baby who is trying to process massive amounts of new information is going to like it as well.

"I know some people like routines,but I'd steer clear"

Shag no I had no confidence when my twins(the only newborns I'd ever come into contact with) screamed all day every day in tandem,plummeted in weight and were bloody miserable 24/7-so sue me.

3 days of Gina and I had 2 extremely happy,contented,thriving babies who finally gained weight.Oh and one confident mummy.

Don't bother with it until at least 4 weeks, then use it as a rough guide so that you are aiming for the feeding times in the book. I've used it twice and by around 3 months both my babies were almost on track. They slept through the night (with a 10.30 dream feed) from 7-7 when the were about 14 weeks old.

The most important bit to stick to is start your day at 7am, no matter what's happened the night before. Apart from that you can ignore parts of it & tweak it a little to suit yourself. I've got friends who really turned their noses up at me for following a routine - I've noticed that they are same people who now moan constantly that their 2/3 year old children have never slept through...

Pickles here's a book I highly recommend you read if you get the chance How Babies Think

It's not a parenting manual as such, it's more an attempt to work out what's going on in babies' heads / why they do what they do and how they develop.

It's fascinating and will give you really interesting insights into how your baby is developing.

As I said up thread I ended up having to ff and when ds was 3 weeks old really struggled without a routine. Dh was back at work, I couldn't time the sterilizer right, in pain from ecs and a bit overwhelmed!

I found the timings really useful but never stuck strictly to everything. I think other posters are right though - all babies (and mothers) are different, there's not one right way of approaching things. Read it, discard it, follow it, abandon it - doesn't matter as long as you find a way that suits you and your baby.

Routines are overstated. It's MUCH easier to take care of a baby that doesn't follow a rigid routine because, guess what, they ADAPT much more easily to whatever as and when you need to.
It's much more important to be in tune with your baby and understand what he/she needs and respond accordingly.

Rockpool - but how is " i'd steer clear" any different to saying it is "bloody brilliant"?

GF advice worked well for me and my DD, less well for my DS But I felt I managed to BF him for longer than I otherwise would as GF encourages the practice of ensuring that a baby has longer feed, my son used to drop off (to sleep and off my tit) after about 5 mins which was no good for either of us. My mum was horrified that I would then wake him to feed more but actually he would enthusiastically feed for another 5, then another and in that way we built up to larger more satisfying feeds. My instincts selfishly told me to leave him sleeping as I was cream crackered.

Olimpia I tried no routine and it was helll,rotine was waaaay easier for me.

"I'd steer clear" kind of infers it's something to be wary of.I'd never say that re feeding on demand even though it was my most dreadful mothering experience to date.

OP you must have an older version of the book. She definitely doesn't say own room from birth anymore. Moses basket in with parents for 6 months then into big cot in own room with blackout curtains!

And I too think you should read at leisure now and then see what kind of baby you have, then decide

Did GF with both mine from about 5/6 weeks and they were both EBF, DS till 6 months then DD till 10 months when I went back to work.

DS was 5 weeks prem and looked like Bart Simpson he was so jaundiced so hospital told me to feed him every 2 hours minimum. When he got to about 6 weeks we just fell into GF easily. I suppose he was on feeding routine since birth really.
And he slept through at 10 weeks, I was so paranoid about him getting enough milk that I used to wake up and try and dream feed him at 3am!! He wasn't having any of it and I remember saying to my friend how worried I was that he wouldn't feed in the night!!
She was like this

Olimpia, my experience has taught me that your statement is emphatically not true. My DD always has been very adaptable, two of my friends( who are very anti baby routines) have produced the least adaptable boys I know. I think there is far more to adaptability than you mum/dad reading GF.

Mrs KB

Agree re the lengths of feeding too. DS was such a sleepy feeder that if I had not read GF advice re encouraging longer feeds then I wouldn't have keep trying to feed him and let him doze off.
On the few occasions I did do that it led to a hideous day with a fractious baby who was knackered and hungry.

Listen to your gut instincts not to GF.

mrskevin the opposite as you, really. DS1 was encouraged to follow the baby whisperer's routine and, while he took to it quite easily it, I had much less freedom than I have with DS3 who has no routine but is a very happy chappy that will adapt to whatever I'm doing that day.

If you want to be the best mum, pay attention to the child, learn from it, and follow your own ideas.
Following this or that baby expert just equals outsourcing responsibility.

(of course, reading books and then figuring out by yourself which bits work and which don't in your family is a different matter. But I do't think that's what Gina Ford advocates)

Well, if you want to be the "best" mum, you must remember that:

1. You can only be the "best mum" to your child or children.
2. There is no "best mum" gold standard.
3. You are the one and only "mum" your child has. Ergo, you are the "best" for them.

No idea why anyone should actively seek out parenting books, especially not in the hope of being "best" as it is NOT a competition.

The other thing I'm not keen on regarding Gina Ford is that if you follow the routines to the letter it ties you to the house. IIRC she doesn't encourage you to get out of the house e.g. to meet other mums, which is just so important IMO, else it's possible you can end up feeling very isolated, stuck at home.

"I think the whole point of routines is that you meet the babies needs before the baby has to scream to get them met"

Because babies - unlike other human beings - all need the same thing at the same time. Which is why one routine will work for ALL of them.

For goodness sake - what do you think other mothers do? Fly by the seat of their pants? Everyone has a routine. Some are based on what the mother thinks will suit her individual baby, others are based on what a stranger in a book thinks are appropriate for all babies.