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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider gina?

288 replies

Pickles77 · 22/06/2012 18:52

Okay AIBU to consider buying a gina ford book? I have the mumsnet baby book which is great... But got the impression most mumsnetters don't approve of gina ford? I'm not sure I will, I'm just intrigued by the fuss? And want to be the best mum
I can be...

OP posts:
FamiliesShareGerms · 22/06/2012 21:54

Pickles what is it you are hoping Gina F will give you? Eg getting your baby to sleep through the night? Or because you want to know what the fuss is about?

I'd second the suggestion to get the book out of the library and see what you make of it first. it's not for everyone (it turned my contented demand fed baby into a monster and we abandoned the routines PDQ), but some love it (I've had three friends with twins who have found the routines a god send). The only way really is read it, maybe try it, and see if it works for you and your family.

LucieMay · 22/06/2012 22:04

My mother died years before ds was born. His dad wasn't around so no support there or from an mil. I did a lot of it very much alone. Perhaps that's why I just had to get on with it and trust myself and my own instincts cause I had no one to turn to really. My health visitor and cm felt sorry for me I think and were always foisting advice onto me but I always knew that I knew better than any of them because he was my son. I've always been independent and stubborn. Not a super mum by the way or a better mother than anyone here but I still always think my way is the best!

Chewbecca · 22/06/2012 22:04

DS cried all evening and woke up several times a night so I started GF at 8 weeks. He slept fantastically from then on, gone was the grizzling. She'd say put him down for a nap at 12 or whenever it was and, at first, I'd think but he's not sleepy. Lo and behold he'd sleep without a whimper and often wake up at the specified time too. Maybe my instincts were bad. Maybe it just really suited DS. Anyhow, for me it was the turning point when everything started to get rosy and calm and I was very thankful for that.

GnocchiNineDoors · 22/06/2012 22:09

The best bit of the book, imo, is the 7-7 thing. 7am-7pm is bright, noisy, stimulating daytime. 7pm-7am is dark, hushed tones, minimal fuss and attention.

We gave all DDs daytime stuff (naps , food etc) in the lounge with the tv on, lights on etc. Once we got to 7pm it was into the bedroom, lights off, and anything she needed she got in there, in relative darkness and quiet.

Happymummy21 · 22/06/2012 22:20

Yabu. I was given a book of hers, tried a bit of it and hated it, unhappy mummy and unhappy baby in my case. I prefer the more flexible, intuitive approach, a bit more like attachment parenting.

Whatever makes you and your baby happy though :)

DontmindifIdo · 22/06/2012 22:30

It's worth a read, but read all of it, not just the routines bit. In between, she explains why she structures the routines like that so you can just take that and then tailor a routine to suit you.

It's also worth a read when you're pregnant for a really short sharp reality check - look at the routine, look how stuff it contains, when you have your baby, you will have to do all that stuff, if you change the timings that's not going to change the distinctive lack of time you will have. (I remember reading thinking it was odd she'd allowed nearly 45minutes for a breast feed, really thought it would take about 5-10 minutes each time, oh if only 45 minutes! And I thought she was suggesting changing the nappy far too often...)

It's also good that she reminds you to eat yourself at decent intervals. I didn't, then got too hungry so snacked or didn't give myself enough time to prep decent food - makes shifting the baby weight even harder if you've living off pita bread, hummas and chocoate biscuits. Also note the amount of water she tells you to drink, she's not being difficult, you will need it. If you do your own schedule, make sure you do remember to drink lots of fluids and make yourself have a feeding routine even if you don't make the baby have one!

laracroft2001 · 22/06/2012 22:45

I used the clb book as a guideline for naps and feed times and thought it was amazing. And I truly have a contented baby who has slept from 7-7 (dream feed at 10) from 10 weeks with no night feeds/wakings

Glitterkitten24 · 22/06/2012 22:59

Gina gets a very bad press, and the book is quite prescriptive so I'd only consider it if you are the kind of person who needs routine (I do).

We did a relaxed version of Gina and it's been fantastic for us. It might not work for everyone but did for us.

Definitely worth a read to make up your own mind.

naturalbaby · 22/06/2012 23:05

I was pretty much in tears because I couldn't get Ds1 into any sort of GF routine but by the time ds3 came along I'd cracked and had him following the book from day 1 - saved my sanity! They were very similar babies but I have really struggled with ds3's rigid routine when we need to be out and about.

I also ebf and couldn't follow the feeding advice at all.

FfoFfycsecs · 22/06/2012 23:05

I used it for two days and nights with my first child, when I wasn't confident enough in my own parenting to trust my own instinct.
Still feel guilty about it now. It felt so very very wrong to me, and cruel to my newborn who just wanted to feel safe with his mother. :(
HOWEVER I do think that different babies react differently, and I wouldn't judge anyone if they thought it was the right thing for their child.

KitCat26 · 22/06/2012 23:39

I used the BW with DD1. She slept well and all of that but I do resent all the bedtime cuddles which i didn't have with her in an effort for her to self soothe Hmm
Second time round I cuddled DD2 all the time, especially at bedtime and she still went from 7-7 from 10 weeks (with the dream feed). I just picked and chose the best bits second time was much more confident than with no.1.

AdoraBell · 22/06/2012 23:41

Personally, I'd say don't waste your money, but the suggestion of reading a library copy sounds much more helpful

NoComet · 22/06/2012 23:46

My mum gave it me (when it first came out), she can't of read any off it because I'm the least organised person on the planet.

Had a NCT friend who is my polar opposite, fantastically organised who liked it.

takingiteasy · 23/06/2012 11:48

I'm tempted to read Gina but dare I ask what the history between Gina and nm. ?

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan · 23/06/2012 11:51

I know someone who loved it. they are the very organised sort. I am not. you need to find something that suits you and baby.

Original poster
Pickles77 · 23/06/2012 14:56

Okay im armed with a copy of the said book...

firstly... im staying with my parents when dd is born soo we are sharing a room. she says she doesnt reccomend this and she reccomends putting baby in a cot straight away... i was only planning to use a moses basket and buying a cot when i needed it... opinions please?

OP posts:
OpheliasWeepingWillow · 23/06/2012 15:00

I tried Gina and failed. It was the only baby book I read in pregnancy and I was horrified when the baby did not comply Sad

Now I have a bedtime, dream feed and morning-ish routine but based on the baby, not weird prescriptive timetable

YoulllaughAboutItOneDay · 23/06/2012 15:10

What does she recommend - a cot in your room but skipping the moses basket? Or baby in their own room from day one?

I'd be surprised if it is the latter given SIDS recommendations. If it is the former, babies sometimes seem snugglier and happier in a moses basket to start with, and they obviously take up less space in a small room. But they grown out of them in a flash so no harm going straight to a cot if you prefer. We had a crib rather than a moses basket because we thought it would last longer (though it didn't by much) but, TBH, I wouldn't bother another time.

JamieandTheOlympicTorch · 23/06/2012 15:24

I think she says moses basket, which you can then put into the cot to acclimatise the baby to the cot, then into the cot.

But this was 11 years ago now...

Original poster
Pickles77 · 23/06/2012 15:26

She recommends the nursery from day one even though she knows some people can't do that, as they want the closeness. She recommends a cot from day one though? And I wanted to just use
My Moses basket until I have my own place?
She does stress though that you don't have to follow her to the letter though but I just wanted to find your opinions?

OP posts:
YoulllaughAboutItOneDay · 23/06/2012 15:36

She recommends nursery from day one? OMG. That is utterly awful if she doesn't make it very clear why it is not medically recommended (Disclaimer, haven't read this section of her book. She might spell it out). It is not about 'wanting' anything, and certainly not as wishy-washy as 'closeness' . It is about medical research. SIDS prevention guidelines are that babies should share a room with their mothers for the first six months. This is nothing to do with hearing the baby, but them hearing you. It helps them to regulate their own breathing to hear an adult nearby. I know many people choose to move their babies earlier than that, or even from birth, but it should be an educated choice weighing all the risks.

Just use a moses basket. You will be fine. This is why I dislike Gina Ford personally. I know she says you don't have to follow her to the letter, but her injunctions about not using moses baskets have got you worrying about what is a perfectly normal, sensible plan.

Incidentally, it may not be your thing at all, but you could also choose to co-sleep until you have your own place and skip the moses basket totally.

shebird · 23/06/2012 15:44

I followed a Gina inspired routine for both my DDs. It is great to get an idea of how to structure your day together with useful advice on feeding, sleeping etc. I used it a guide but didn't follow it to the letter.
So if you have a moses basket then that's fine, as long a sleep times are quiet and calm. The main thing is to teach baby the difference between day and night in the hope that they will sleep when they are supposed to which makes perfect sense really.

shebird · 23/06/2012 15:47

BTW both my DCs slept in my room in Moses basket until about 2-3 months when I moved them to their own from as I realised DHs snoring was waking them!

Want2bSupermum · 23/06/2012 15:57

I read GF when DD was about 3 months old. It was what I was doing already because DD likes being in a very structured routine. I found a book by Jo Frost aimed for the American market that I found to be brilliant if you bypass the first part on bf. The other book I have used a lot is a book by Gymboree that I found in the 2nd hand store. It has activites by age and I end up using it all the time.

Every child is different which is why one book doesn't work for all and the reason why I would also suggest you borrow a copy from the library before buying it.

JollyGoodFun · 23/06/2012 16:01

You may have an old version of the book, Pickles. Newer advice is to share a room until at least 6 months.

Anyway, we used baby whisperer from 3 months when Ds had to be taught to self settle. Then at 7 months we did controlled crying to stop night time wakings. He has also been bf on schedule from 3 months. I have had no issues with undersupply and am still bfing.

Ds is now 14 months and still on a bw routine. He has 2 daytime naps and sleeps 7:30pm - 6:45am. He is a very happy baby unless he misses some naps (or is hungry!)

Folk may not agree with how we have done things but it has worked for us.

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