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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider gina?

288 replies

Pickles77 · 22/06/2012 18:52

Okay AIBU to consider buying a gina ford book? I have the mumsnet baby book which is great... But got the impression most mumsnetters don't approve of gina ford? I'm not sure I will, I'm just intrigued by the fuss? And want to be the best mum
I can be...

OP posts:
akaemmafrost · 22/06/2012 20:57

How did she help you exactly? You had already been told by doctors to feed as much as possible? Presumably you would have fed frequently even if GF was not around to provide a timetable?

bradbourne · 22/06/2012 20:58

I used Gina Ford and breastfed exclusievely for 6 months (and for 2.6 years in total). Probably would have given up earlier as I was in lts of pain due to breast thrush - knowing when to expect feeds was a godsend. The spacing of feeds seemed to work out fine for ds - I would have fed him earlier had he given any signs of being hungrier earlier, but he generally didn't.

All I can say is it worked for me. Baby was sleeping through from 10-7 consistently from 10 weeks. Two naps - an hour mid morning plus 2-3 hours at lunchtime. And a very calm, contented baby who rarely cried.

MorrisZapp · 22/06/2012 20:59

Go on amazon reviews and decide if you think it's for you.

And if it is, keep your eyes peeled in the charity shops.

akaemmafrost · 22/06/2012 21:01

My PFB did all that too bradbourne with no help from GF. Some babies are just like that.

My PSB dd though, well not so much!

Joiningthegang · 22/06/2012 21:01

We used her timings and her general gist and it was a breeze - but her tone of voice needs ignoring!
Ynbu

monkeymoma · 22/06/2012 21:02

"How did she help you exactly? You had already been told by doctors to feed as much as possible? Presumably you would have fed frequently even if GF was not around to provide a timetable?"

you think its easy to get a sleepey jaundiced newborn to wake up and feed every 3 hours? and to feed for any decent amt of time before nodding off again?
its not! I needed tips!

akaemmafrost · 22/06/2012 21:04

I know, I had one too, my little tangerine Smile. I know exactly how hard it was.

monkeymoma · 22/06/2012 21:05

thats the problem with on demand feeding, its not when it means feeding lots, the real probs are when it means hardly feeding at all! which is REALLY common, and a routine helps encourage increases in both the feeding and your supply

monkeymoma · 22/06/2012 21:07

well like I said akaemmafrost these wonderful "instincts" never kicked in for me and I had never watched anyone close to me feed and care for a baby etc
so when they say "don't let him go to long without feeds", I'm looking at him thinking "will ya tell HIM that cause I dunno how to make him!"

LittleWaveyLines · 22/06/2012 21:09

Ah OK I get it now! :) Glad it worked for you :)

akaemmafrost · 22/06/2012 21:10

I'm sorry I just don't agree with her methods, but I am really glad you found something that helped at such a stressful time, THAT I do understand Smile.

FaceCrack · 22/06/2012 21:10

We tried it at 4 weeks and foud it too prescriptive. I went back to it regularly from 12 weeks; started off with the 7pm-7am nights then tackled day time naps at about 6 months. It worked pretty well.

The tone is quite patronising but most of my friends and I have found it useful.

takingiteasy · 22/06/2012 21:11

With my first I read the baby whisper book and found it really useful, flexible and it just made a lot of sense. I was bottle feeding from day 6 so didn't even read the breastfeeding section.

I re read bits when pregnant this time. Ds is 8 weeks now and I've stopped breastfeeding him now. There were no real problems it just wasn't for me. Again I didn't read any of her advice on breastfeeding.

I'm going to look over it again but have always had the key aspects of her routine in mind.

Booette · 22/06/2012 21:14

You see, I think if I'd used GF with DS1 it would have worked like a dream, because he was a lovely laid back baby who slept and ate at regular intervals. Then DS2 came along, and no way would he have done it without it involving lots of crying.

And then how would I have felt if baby didn't want to do what the book says? That's why I don't like it. All babies are different. Some will be nice and settled and will like a routine, and others will fight against it because it is not right for them.

My friend did it and I hated seeing her sitting with a screaming baby because it wasn't time for her 2o'clock feed, while I just fed mine and then they were happy. And someone else I knew who couldn't go out at certain times because it was nap time, even though her twins were 2!!

Also I'm just not organised to do routines. The school run has me frazzled most days!

LittleWaveyLines · 22/06/2012 21:14

I've always wondered though how you get a baby to nap who doesn't want to nap.... DD is most determined and has never done anything she doesn't want to!

CheshireDing · 22/06/2012 21:20

I read it before DD was born, ebf on demand and had a dog to walk so it was never going to work for us!

I have more recently read 2 AP books and aside from co-sleeping we have adopt most methods in these books and as we were doing them before we read the books (and even know what AP was) I figure it's definitely the way for us.

A Dad described Gina Ford's books as Baby Boot Camp to me only this week actually.

I think you need a spreadsheet to meet the routine properly Grin

monkeymoma · 22/06/2012 21:20

DS doesn't do naps (once over the sleepy newborn jaundice stage - which was more like one big nap), I didn't either, it's genetic IMO! I didn't worry about it I still followed her for bedtime and morning routine and the rest of it

with anything there will be people who take it too far to the extreme, there are people who take AP too far to the other end of the spectrum just as there are people who take routines too seriously.

I went to see a nappy rep who only repped at exact times because she did GF and it was nap time so they must be home them. i thought she was bonkers (and her kid was quite old so IMO it must have ruled out a lot of baby/toddler activity groups?), but I did GF too. I think if you're inclined to be very rigid GF can be an excuse to take that too far. Personally I'm enclined to be an undisciplined slob so I'm only ever gonna improve my parenting with GF Grin

fufulina · 22/06/2012 21:21

Wtaf is a draw sheet? I've always wanted to know. And the routines for newborns are excellent for a giggle. Both mine barely opened their eyes for three weeks.

monkeymoma · 22/06/2012 21:22

isn't it just a very small sheet? smaller than the bed/cot sheet

LucieMay · 22/06/2012 21:23

I read that book and it all seemed like far too much effort and upheaval. I just did my own thing and ds slept through from about three months old. I was probably just lucky however but I don't really think we need books to tell us how to raise our children. They can be helpful but mother's instinct is always best.

monkeymoma · 22/06/2012 21:28

"mother's instinct is always best"

Sad I wish I had some! then I could spend this pregnancy reading chick-lits instead of every kind of parenting book I can find!

LucieMay · 22/06/2012 21:36

I'm not saying mums can't seek advice but I just think it's a modern phenomenon that western women don't think they can raise their own children without an "expert" telling them exactly what to do. Women have been raising children for thousands of years in all sorts of conditions successfully without having k manual written by some sort of self styled baby guru.

monkeymoma · 22/06/2012 21:44

"I'm not saying mums can't seek advice but I just think it's a modern phenomenon that western women don't think they can raise their own children without an "expert" telling them exactly what to do. Women have been raising children for thousands of years in all sorts of conditions successfully without having k manual written by some sort of self styled baby guru."

that's because western women are less likely to live closely with their female relatives, we live in little couple bubbles all spread out all over the place. In other cultures, by the time you are raising your baby you have closely watched many other females in your family or close community raise theirs.

I had only held babies about 10 times for a max of about 3 mins each before having DS

so its not about not TRUSING instincts, I'ld argue that these "instincts" are often more nurture than nature and people like me who haven't observed other females with their infants much have to "outsource" to learn their mothering instincts! Women in other cultures LEARN how to raise their babies too

Rockpool · 22/06/2012 21:45

Lucie in the old days mothers had their mothers near by,lots of contact with babies or extended family to advise. Modern day mothers aren't the same. The first time many of us hold a baby is with our first born,extended family are often miles away and we're far more likely to spend the years pre motherhood thinking about our careers rather than how to look after babies.

Gina et al are often a godsend to many.

GreyTS · 22/06/2012 21:46

Before becoming a mother I was appalled by these books, was given GF and BW when pregnant, buried them under the pile of books beside my bed. I have loads of close up experience with tiny babies but nothing prepared me for the force of nature that was DD1, she never slept, screamed non stop etc. Started BW at 4 weeks worked amazingly, turns out she hates been cuddled or rocked to sleep, she is still the same, needs a dark room and to be left alone. Also BF'ed on demand for 6 months with no trouble. DD2 was completely different, never slept alone, needed cuddling and comfort feeds so didn't consider a routine with her. I think different children need different things but I do know that Baby Whisperer saved my sanity and stopped me feeling like a crappy mother.