To ask our wedding guest not to post any pics on Facebook?

[maxbradbury]

we are getting married in a few week and I want to ask our guest not to post any pictures of our wedding on Facebook until I've seen them.
I want to have total control over what people see and also I don't want any of the evening guest seeing any pics before they arrive.
Is there a polite way to say without sounding bridezilla?

Sidney, people like that infuriate me, pure selfishness.

I think it's a tiny bit Bridezilla to insist on editorial control over all pictures, but I don't think YABU to not want your pals posting gurny double-chin shots all over Facebook. But then I loathe FB, and the fact that I can be posted on pictures there without my knowledge. Probably in full gurn mode, as well. :(

Facebook is the least of your worries - after our wedding I was driving through town and saw pictures of OUR wedding on the back of a bus advertising the venue! We didn't have a photographer on the day - the venue must have taken the photos.

I hate to say this OP - but......

Your guests will be taking and posting pictures of THEMSELVES, not you. Really only you, your parents and fiance will be interested in photos of you.

I don't think there is anything wrong at all with requesting no photos on FB. Maybe someone (registrar/minister?) could request it 'on behalf of the family', so you don't feel awkward, just before the service starts, but when everyone is seated.

Anyone going against your specific wishes would look like a complete arse then (IMO)

^I want to have total control over what people see and also I don't want any of the evening guest seeing any pics before they arrive.
Is there a polite way to say without sounding bridezilla?^

No, because you are being bridezilla.

Say it again I want to have total control over what people see

total control

YABU

I disagree Agatha. I think if the OP has an announcement made on the day asking people not to put photos on Facebook she will be widely considered to be a self-important bridezilla. I'm not saying she is, but that is what most people would think. They won't consider it a reasonable request and are likely therefore to ignore it. Especially because, as others have said, guests photos are likely to be of them showing off their lovely wedding outfits and doing some crazy wedding dancing.

The problem is that you are asking to see them first, presumably so you can vet them and only show nice images of your wedding.
If however you stance was that you do not want any images of your wedding on facebook - nice or not, then you have more of a leg to stand on. You could say you would like guests to respect your privacy, you dont like facebook and you dont want pictures of you or your family on there.
As everyone has said though social media is not controllable so let it go otherwise you are just preparing a big row for after the wedding when you find pictures on there.

A good friend of mine asked for people not to put photos on Facebook of her wedding. I didn't have a problem with that at all and respected her wishes

A wedding is public ceremony. Anyone can go to any wedding, you don't need to be invited. I kind of see where you're coming from, but you can't control every photo which is taken at your wedding, and who the photographer shows it too. You could maybe ask that people don't post til the next day, if you don't want to spoil anything (spoil what?) for the evening guests, but it may not be just the guests you need to ask - they may send photos to someone else who may post them.

Nice thought, but impossible to execute - unfortunately.

But sherbet the OP is on facebook as far as I can tell. Bit Jimmy Carr hypocritical, no?

Unless your name is Brangelina YABU. And if your name is Brangelina you are, understandably, BU.

You can put the word out but I think that's all you can do. I think any kind of note on your invite will look extremely tacky/ controlling. I think you would be better off coming to terms with the fact that there will be a number of unsanctioned photos on fb. In some you will look lovely and there may be one or two that you won't. Balance it out by putting some lovely ones on fb yourself. I wouldn't be that concerned about people putting pics on fb before the evening guests arrive. Unless some of your friends are that due hard Facebook users that they couldn't go an hour or 2 without posting pictures.

Hmmm... I live abroad and where I am it's illegal to post a picture of someone on the internet without their permission, and I'm pretty surprised to discover this isn't also the case in Britain.

YANBU, flipping Facebook. I think your wedding is between you and your guests to see and who you choose to show the pictures to.

My (otherwise lovely) SIL put pictures of my DD up on Facebook (day she was born) without asking DH (even though he had sent it saying just for you as haven't been able to get hold of Mum and Dad), just took it on herself to announce her new neice and so random relatives got to hear about it and see her before PIL and PIL got to know they had GD via some cousin phoning them up.

YANBU, I woud feel the same if it were me. I wouldnt mind people taking pics but I'd hate to have them on show on FB. Thank goodness FB wasnt around when I married 15yrs ago.

I can't believe some of the flack you're getting over this OP, I don't want pictures of me plastered all over facebook for anyone and everyone to see - whether that be at my wedding or at any other time. I've had to politely ask friends and family members not to post pics from birthday parties etc.

It's a really sad sign of the times that people think you are being unreasonable over this, the culture of sharing that facebook has bred has just become the norm and no-one thinks to question it - and if they do they are labelled odd or unreasonable

The only possible way I can think of asking this in a way that doesn't seem a bit, um, controlling is to allude to some sort of child protection issue for one of the children attending the wedding. Where you can't say which child or the reasons due to supposed legal issues, but no-one can put photos on facebook etc. And even that may possibly be a bit morally questionable.

Congratulations though!

Don't forget OP, if your friends tag you, you don't have to "allow" it to be on your wall, and you can always untag yourself from horrid shots.

I do this with my DM and her dubious photo skills all the time . She posts the most god awful photos up....

Yabvu! It's very bridezilla. They are your guests' photos, not yours, they can do what they want with them. Why be so miserable about your happy day? Just let people enjoy it and celebrate it with you. Or don't invite anyone - then there won't be any photos you can't control.

YABU, and a bit short sighted. We haven't received the official photos yet, which means waiting for a month, but we have had friends post photos from our wedding on FB and it has been great - my absolute favourite (though I'll see what the photographer produces) was taken by a friend and is on FB. And in that album, out of around 50 photos DH and I only appear in about 6 because they're were taking pictures of themselves at the wedding, not just of us.

Yabvvvvvu. You cannot control what people do. My friend I'd this and I was