To ask our wedding guest not to post any pics on Facebook?

[maxbradbury]

we are getting married in a few week and I want to ask our guest not to post any pictures of our wedding on Facebook until I've seen them.
I want to have total control over what people see and also I don't want any of the evening guest seeing any pics before they arrive.
Is there a polite way to say without sounding bridezilla?

YANBU Every wedding I go to, if I have pictures that are of more than just me and DP, I ask the bride and groom if I'm alright to upload them to facebook, as it's not my special day to share. Also, comparing uploading Facebook photos to sharing paper copies is very different, I doubt paper copies would get shared between 100+ vague aquaintances and old school friends.

YANBU at all!
this is the first time I've dared post on aibu and I having scanned the posts I'm clearly going against the grain...oh help, but...imo no-one should be fart-arsing around with a mobile uploading pictures of YOUR big day to the entire world and his wife, especially not during the service or reception (is there is one). Admittedly I know nothing of tagging and who would therefore be able to see intimate pictures of you both but surely if you'd wanted anyone else to see you or your fiancee tying the knot you'd have asked them to attend (finances allowing of course). Why do people feel the necessity to share EVERYTHING these days? Your guests should be enjoying your big day and should have the manners to stop their fiddling thumbs for a day. I just don't get it! . Clearly I'm living in the wrong century!

The only wedding I have been to where this was stated on the invite was an actual celeb....and reading that annoyed me (and many other 'friends') enough and it just meant no-one took any photos all day as they did n't want to be the one that possibly 'leaked' any photos - In my opinion it would annoy people before and during and the naughty ones amongst your guest would be probably me more determined to get the 'bad' shot and post it....

I think you need to look at your guest list - if you have n't got people you care about and trust you need to rethink, the guests at your wedding are there for you, they are not waiting for you to fall over, do something wrong etc

Like someone else said, sometimes photos from other people can capture lovely parts you haven't seen of the day.

YABU....

But you may also have something to hide on FB, therefore it may be wise to do a friend 'cull' on FB before your big day.....Or do a 'cull' in real life from the guest list of people you think would take the horrid shots....

It's pretty much impossible to stop people from putting up photos of your wedding. I swear people just take photos to put on FB these days.

Enjoy your day and don't worry about the photos - enjoy marrying your partner!

No, OP, I don't like any of them - I think I had an inflated sense of how fabulous I would/should look with professional hair & makeup and an expensive photographer and ended up disappointed .

Stickchikdren, agree totally but we are where we are, to me face book is for my kids,,, but sad as adults tbh but that's life,, u can't turn back clock!!!

Still Hope op concentrates in her wedding as a commitment and bit the fukin photos!!!

Just sad else.....

And to add do we really have to celebrate the celebrity culture and worry about how we look!!!!!!???????

It's all shite after all isn't it???

U r marrying the man u love and who loves u???

That's what the wedding means isn't it???

Your not being unreasonable at all. Its YOUR wedding, its YOUR special day. Anyone who disagrees needs to butt out. Its not for them to decide. Its YOUR day remeber :)

Such a fukin sad thread.... It's all about how we look is it?? No substance but all surface,,, just sad.

Don't get my wrong we have been together for 10 years and have children so I am well aware of what it's about! We are planning a big family celebration I just don't like the idea of friends of friends looking at our pictures of our day.

But isn't it nice? My friends got married and they encouraged us all to take pic's to pop on FB so that we could all have plenty of memories of their special day. :)

I don't get this at all. I am not the slightest bit interested in pictures of weddings on FB of people I don't know. And I really cannot imagine anyone getting disappointed about seeing the outfits before they make it to the evening do.

Just bonkers!

This thread has reminded me that when I was growing up wedding photos always appeared in the local press - it was seen as a good thing for lots of people you didn't know to see your photo then, obviously!

I am not the slightest bit interested in pictures of weddings on FB of people I don't know

I have a right old nosey at friends of friends weddings on FB. But then I am in the throes of wedding fever..

The op must be joking, right?

YABU, it would be a crime for corkers like these not to make it to fb for all to chuckle at

I went to an event where they confiscated all cameras and phones ............
It was an honours ceremony at Buckingham palace :)
The queen only just got away with it :)

But if you set your privacy properly, facebook asks you first whether you will allow a pic you are tagged in to be available to all. You can say no, or set it to friends only etc etc..

But presumably if they don't tag gyou in it, they can still post it on their own wall for 'all and sundry' to see.

LOVE the planking vicar :o

yanbu, I doubt your concerned with people who might put up one or two nice photos of themselves at the bar (acceptable), it's the idiots who take hundreds of really bad photos of the entire wedding and send them to everybody. You hire a proper photographer for a reason, you want to share your photo's, not have them hijacked by an untalented idiot with nothing better to do.

I think it looks nice when the couple put up one nice photo of the two of them together, maybe a second nice one with everybody in the shot. Nobody looks through hundreds of photos, especially bad ones by amateurs. I think that's the most grating thing isn't it? That someone is going to make your special day look like shit?

It's your wedding, your right to share the way you want. If you want to keep things tasteful, so be it.

^^Perfectly stated. One of my relatives took over 400 shots; most were blurry and taken just for the sake of it - who wants a photo of someone mid-sentence with their eyes half shut...? Of course she sent them all to everyone, even put them on her business' FB page, enlarged the most horrific one, framed it, gave it to my parents and printed a stack of the same one to give to our relatives at a party. By the time the professional photographer released their photos, everyone had already been bombarded by the bad ones, so the good ones seemed repetitive somehow. Very disappointing. I know she meant well, but it felt very pushy and inconsiderate. I really wish she'd have just watched the ceremony and gotten to know my husband's family better, rather than trying to document every millisecond and then jump ahead of the photographer.

I asked people to not post photos on FB at first as we got married abroad then had a reception at home 2 weeks later so I didn't want people to see the dress etc before the reception. After that I don't really think you can expect people not to as they are often excited etc about it all too, although if someone asked me I would respect their wishes.

You can remove any tags of yourself they put on photos you don't like.

Really? You hire an official photographer for creative control?!

There was me thinking it was too ensure you got some lovely photos for you to treasure, in case all the guests are rubbish photographers. I absolutely loved seeing everyone else's photos from our wedding day. It was great to see other people's perspectives.

*to not too!