To ask our wedding guest not to post any pics on Facebook?

[maxbradbury]

we are getting married in a few week and I want to ask our guest not to post any pictures of our wedding on Facebook until I've seen them.
I want to have total control over what people see and also I don't want any of the evening guest seeing any pics before they arrive.
Is there a polite way to say without sounding bridezilla?

Yep!

As someone who's absolute number one hatred is having her photo taken.. wow. Briiiidezilla.

You could ask the minister to ask people not to take photos during the ceremony. That's reasonable. After that, I think people can do what they like with photos

I would ask that no one uploads pictures to FB until the day after the service so that your evening guests dont feel that they are missing out, or something like that.

But apart from that, I dont think there is much you can do, although I do sympathise. My wedding was on FB before the ceremony had finished!

One of my friends charmingly put up a picture of my bridesmaid throwing up (in the loo) on facebook...I'd of asked her not to had I had screening rights beforehand. Might not be a bad idea to ask.

You are makIng a commitment for lIfe to the person who loves you more than anyone else On earth. Through sickness and health, love, care, cherish, till you die...

Focus on this love, forget photos... Your wedding is about your love,, not photos..

I'm really torn on this one.

I think it's a little crazy that people post stuff as it's happening - I mean, don't you have better things to do (like actually ENJOY the day), rather than posting to fb? However, I think wanting total control over what is posted does sound bridezilla-ish - it sounds like you want to censure the photos in case any don't suit you.

However, I can understand why you don't want people seeing pictures until a certain point. I got married away from a lot of my family, and didn't want people seeing pictures on fb before my nan and other family members had seen it, and my DH made this statement at the reception. Did I care what other people thought? Nope, because I was most concerned that my family would be the first to see pictures, not some random friend of a friend on fb. I think it's manners, and it annoys me when friends feel they can post pictures of me and tag me without asking me first. I don't care about the quality, I just don't want people who I don't know seeing pictures of me and them being on the internet. And, FYI OP, guests at the wedding respected my wishes.

I think it's bridezilla behaviour - but have to confess I have a double chin in all my wedding photos (including the professional ones ) and I don't have a single one that I like.

I hope you've got a good photographer and hair & makeup people, because I am quite normal looking IRL (I think...) and my wedding photos are HIDEOUS.

So really I should think that YANBU, but I don't .

Really emsyj? Not one picture of yourself you liked?

YANBU at all. It's only natural and fair that you would like to be the first to show the photos of your special day. It should really go without saying.

My husband mentioned in his speech on the day 'and don't be puttin pictures on fucking facebook!'
There are a couple of people I really didn't want seeing pictures of my wedding because I despise them but I have the option of reviewing any photo I'm tagged in before it's published.

You could ask but I doubt anyone'll listen since people seem to live through their social networking these days.

Be prepared to be dismayed when your photographer's pictures of the event show guests with their faces obscured by digital cameras or smartphones. Or, when group shots show half the people looking into the photographer's camera, and the other half looking towards the handful of amateur photographers who stand off to the side of the one you're paying. Speaking from experience. Unfortunately no real way around it without sounding like a major grinch; people who are way into Facebook just don't seem to comprehend that not everyone likes their photos shared with people they don't actually know.

I can understand not wanting pictures Facebook befor the evening guest arrived, I went to a wedding recently where there was pictures of the bridesmaids on Facebook before the wedding even started (45 mins before, all in their dresses ect). We were evening guests so saw them all which was a bit of a shame. Yabu with the rest of it though.

This does sound very bridezilla-like. Live and let live. The photos the guests take capture their memories of the day. You do not have rights over them.

And btw, it's quite normal for photographers to stick a selection of pics on their website. You might want to bear this in mind....

Have you been reading too many wedding magazines?!

Deep breaths. Wedding zen. Control what you can, and let go of what you can't. My favourite ever wedding quote is "if you still believe in perfection, you're not old enough to get married".

Read this

Also this on "bridezilla"

The truth is, you'll look great on your wedding day. Really, you will. And you'll look even better when you relax and really, truly believe this.

Have you come across wedding tales? It's a website you can ask all your guests to upload photos to. You get to control what then gets put on show (I think). Sounds like a good answer to your control freakery!

That said, I have in th past checked with the couple if they would prefer people to wait until tey return from their honeymoon or they have seen the professional photos before pictures are uploaded and would totally understand if they said they preferred hm not to go on. We have friends who do not 'do' facebook ect an I would not dream of putting any photos o them or their children on there. I carefully scan my children's party photos to ensure they are not in them.

Also, if you ask your wedding photographer to let you see the pictures before posting them online they'll respect that. Makes business sense to keep you sweet . If it really, truly bothers you just ask people not to bring cameras, say you're paying someone to take pictures and you'd like them to just relax and enjoy the celebration. They'll live.

YABU a bit...In the days before facebook I actually gave my best friend a camera and film yes that long ago and asked her to take as many pictures as she could of the whole day. She got some fabulous ones that I wouldn't have seen, like my poor dad with his head in the whisky cabinet when mum and bridesmaids where getting in their car!! and seeing these pics now brings the whole thing back in a much better way than the official ones can. Just go with the flow and enjoy your day.

I think it's absolutely fine to request guests not to post pictures of other people on Facebook i.e. people that don't have an account or pictures of you. You could frame it as respecting other people's privacy, especially older generations.

I do think it's a bit weird to want to see and ok them first though, and to not want evening guests to see pictures of the venue.

Re double chin, this was Boy George's makeup-based solution to the same problem:

3.bp.blogspot.com/_Sg1h01pO1js/SjMBaOVpPOI/AAAAAAAAAZM/O9z8uo57N_k/s400/boy_george_og_rosie_111679a.jpg

Are you Catherine Zeta Jones??

I think u need to remember what weddings are all about!

Love, commitment, support, life long friendship and the future.

If you focusing on your photos then stop and think...