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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask our wedding guest not to post any pics on Facebook?

148 replies

maxbradbury · 21/06/2012 18:20

we are getting married in a few week and I want to ask our guest not to post any pictures of our wedding on Facebook until I've seen them.
I want to have total control over what people see and also I don't want any of the evening guest seeing any pics before they arrive.
Is there a polite way to say without sounding bridezilla?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 21/06/2012 18:52

Unlikely Captain Grin there are tons of photos of her on the Internet.

ViviPru · 21/06/2012 18:53

The first wedding that had this rule then showed a slide show of photos of all the guests throughout the whole meal which we hadn't been warned/asked about..but we couldn't post photos of them they hadn't seen

Jesus, some people?!

ThreadWatcher · 21/06/2012 18:55

Hi op
I think yanbu because Im not a fan of facebook for all the reasons others also dislike it.

I think yabu because if you want your wedding to be private you shouldnt invite guests!

WorraLiberty · 21/06/2012 18:55

OP, you could always wear an ankle length really thick veil with two eye holes cut out?

MammaTJ · 21/06/2012 18:55

I went to a wedding a few weeks ago and they asked that there were no pics of the grooms son or the bridesmaids son on fb as they didn't allow it. Fair enough.

I think you are being a bit bridezilla though and there is no way to do it without coming across as that.

MsVestibule · 21/06/2012 18:55

Ooh, Vivipru, you're getting married? The last I read (not a cyberstalker, honest) a few months ago was that you wanted him to propose but thought he never would cos he's so, er, laidback. So what happened???

GwendolineMaryLacey · 21/06/2012 18:56

I'm amazed people have a problem with this. I married long before FB but, the weddings I've been to since FB I may stick up a pic of dd1 or whatever but key pictures such as wedding party etc are not mine to put up, even if I do 'own' the photos. Surely it's a matter of manners to wait until the couple post whatever they want before you muscle in?

Original poster
maxbradbury · 21/06/2012 18:56

Ok fine. Has anyone got any tips on how to avoid a double chin then?

OP posts:
Purpleprickles · 21/06/2012 18:57

Vivi- are you agreeing that was ironic? Just to add too, they weren't even pics from the wedding day so far with guests looking glam. They were pics from the past, the kind you like forgotten. Lots of dh in fancy dress when little or looking like a spotty teenager. Would have been funny if we hadn't been subjected to the media blackout rule!

Purpleprickles · 21/06/2012 18:59

Neck forward, shoulders back.

lovetomoan · 21/06/2012 18:59

I don't think you are a bridezilla. I asked my friends not to upload any pics on facebook, I think I was protecting my privacy. But then I won't upload any pic of my wedding and I had only 10 guests. Same thing with baby scan pics on facebook, I believe the baby has a right to privacy in the mother's tummy :D

Johnnydeppsnewmrs · 21/06/2012 19:00

Asking them to avoid posting pictures till after the reception / wait till next day is not unreasonable.
Asking to see all photos first is unreasonable, and very time consuming.
Do you not trust your friends to only put the nice ones on?

WorraLiberty · 21/06/2012 19:00

Ok fine. Has anyone got any tips on how to avoid a double chin then?

Just enjoy yourself and stop worrying.

Original poster
maxbradbury · 21/06/2012 19:02

But really nothing is private anymore! There is always some idiot who tells everyone who they are with/ what they are doing / had for tea and really it take less than one min to upload a pic to facebook from most phones.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 21/06/2012 19:04

Don't look at the photos that other people post Wink

stripesnotspots · 21/06/2012 19:05

"But really nothing is private anymore! There is always some idiot who tells everyone who they are with/ what they are doing / had for tea and really it take less than one min to upload a pic to facebook from most phones"

Bridezilla alert!!! Bridezilla alert!!

WorraLiberty · 21/06/2012 19:06

Just delete your FB account then

YouOldSlag · 21/06/2012 19:07

It is your wedding day OP BUT you are not in control of everyone's experience of it.

IMO the etiquette is, if you are tagged in a photo on Facebook that you really can't stand, then you send a polite PM to say "look I hate myself in this pic, would you mind taking it down?"

However I usually just untag myself so it doesn't show on my page.

Original poster
maxbradbury · 21/06/2012 19:10

Maybe this is my bridezilla moment. Every bride is entitled to one.

OP posts:
ViviPru · 21/06/2012 19:12

Vivi- are you agreeing that was ironic? Yeah - completely. I hate unreasonable contradictory behaviour like that.

Ooh, Vivipru, you're getting married

Wow MsV Can't believe you remember that! Do you mean my "about to have The Conversation" thread where I was planning to have it out with Mr. Pru on my birthday were there no sparkly precious forthcoming? Would you believe he actually proposed on that day, and had been planning it for months!

comedycentral · 21/06/2012 19:13

You are very scary!

ViviPru · 21/06/2012 19:13

Sorry OP for coming over All About Me on your bridezilla thread... Blush

comedycentral · 21/06/2012 19:14

But yes you are entitled to a bridzilla moment, good luck with the wedding :-)

SweetTheSting · 21/06/2012 19:15

You can limit tag visibility to 'me only'', then whilst someone looking at your friends' feeds would see the photos, people who were friends with you but not them wouldn't automatically see them.

I think it's fair to ask no uploading during ceremony though

ViviPru · 21/06/2012 19:18

I think it's fair to ask no uploading during ceremony though

Fair point, but it's utterly mentile isn't it to have to even consider this Confused