to think money does buy you happiness

[poorasachurchmouse]

Whoever came up with the saying "money can't buy you happiness" obviously never lived without any.

I feel so desperate today, I'm currently living on £163 a week for a family of four due to a few changes in circumstances - Weekly income isn't £163 as some of that is paid monthly, usual weekly income is £118.

It's been a bit of a shock to the system but I'm just about managing. This week however the worst has happened.

Not only has dd gone on a residential trip which I had to finish paying for and give spending money for, I've had 2 bills taken out of the bank.

luckily I've probably got enough in the freezer to do meals til Monday(next payday) but no bread or potatoes and no Gas(prepayment meter)

I've just had to walk half an hour to the nearest cashpoint that doesn't charge £1.99, just so that I could have an extra tenner - but had to pay everything I withdrew into my current account to cover the direct debits. I've now no money left in my savings account at all.

I don't know how I'm going to make it through the rest of the week, I feel sick, I feel like crying, I feel totally and utterly desperate. I just want to get into bed, pull the covers over my head and pretend my life doesn't exsist.

I'm afraid money does buy you happiness, or rather lack of it buys you a whole shit load of unhappiness

I don't understand what you are cross about, but mostly if I see a situation where there isn't so much disagreement on a straightforward issue, but unhappiness caused by mutual misapprehension, then I think it is nice to attempt to try and decrease the sum total of human unhappiness in the world. Don't you?

Did you just want a fight?!

Why is it irritating?

I am just waiting for scones to get mentioned and the posse to arrive.

I would like to assure everyone else that I had no intentions but good ones.

I do apologise if anyone was irritated or upset.

I see this is going to be profitless in the extreme.

I don't want to play war, Porto. Soz

Bye

Hully is saying because there has been "misapprehension". Who is she saying this TO exactly? The OP, who is desperately struggling? Or those with more cash, who have suffered bereavement, have children with SN, dying relatives?

What she is saying is - Oh I have decided we shouldn't argue about this.

I think this is such a sensitive subject for so many people and I agree that anyone who's child/partner/loved one was seriously ill or disabled would swap all their riches in a heart beat if doing so could secure that loved one's health.

The thing is though would you give up your wealth if you knew it would make no difference? That's the point - what possible advantage would there be to being poor?

Most people wouldn't because financial worries would only make the situation worse. We can't change the shitty, random and terrible things that happen to us. I don't think anyone's said that money is a barrier to illness, trauma and suffering. Rich or poor our emotional responses to them will be the same, but money/financial security is protection against other burdens while we are coping with the shitty, terrible things that life has thrown at us. For the bereaved it can buy time before they have to go back to work, for carers of the sick and disabled it can help with equipment and essential respite. For those of us with mental health problems money will never be a cure, but it can lessen the impact on our children (and our own guilt) through external help and support with their daily needs.

None of these things make everything all right and you do not give up your right to be sad and depressed or angry if you are dealing with something like this just because you are wealthy, but on some level it has to make a difference. The alternative, of coping with exactly the same issues and being poor, for me, could only be worse.

So no money can't buy happiness, it can't reverse disabilities, cure terminal illness and bring back lost loved ones but it can give us the freedom to concentrate on the things that matter without the added stress of financial worries and all that entails.

I don't have beef with Hully. I get cross because so many threads get derailed by the same childish group of people. I am a grown up - there are plenty of silly threads to go on. Dead children and absolute poverty NEVER warrant a "there, there".

I didnt think it was irritating.
I thought it was someone understanding that some of us can get upset by certain triggers and that other people might say something they didnt mean to be upsetting and Hully worrying about everyone a bit.

I didnt feel patronised and I have a superspidey sense for that sort of thing.

I do think I WOULD be happier if I had more money.
I would never be happy because I will never be properly happy again. I have learnt to live with that.
But I worry a lot about our future because OH has a degenerative condition and one of the DCs has LDs and ASD and may not be able to live independantly.
If I had more money I would worry less about the future. If I knew that we could cope when OH's condition stops him working, if I could afford his care without having to beg and if I could make sure DS had more options in adulthood.
Money would make a lot of difference really.

Everlong
I think I would need to improve my spelling dont you?

I am happy now, and luckily i can afford myself a few treats, ect

However 100% honestly, yes i would be over the bloody moon if i was rich. Its the things that you can do if you have a bit of money without any obstacles in your way!