to think money does buy you happiness

[poorasachurchmouse]

Whoever came up with the saying "money can't buy you happiness" obviously never lived without any.

I feel so desperate today, I'm currently living on £163 a week for a family of four due to a few changes in circumstances - Weekly income isn't £163 as some of that is paid monthly, usual weekly income is £118.

It's been a bit of a shock to the system but I'm just about managing. This week however the worst has happened.

Not only has dd gone on a residential trip which I had to finish paying for and give spending money for, I've had 2 bills taken out of the bank.

luckily I've probably got enough in the freezer to do meals til Monday(next payday) but no bread or potatoes and no Gas(prepayment meter)

I've just had to walk half an hour to the nearest cashpoint that doesn't charge £1.99, just so that I could have an extra tenner - but had to pay everything I withdrew into my current account to cover the direct debits. I've now no money left in my savings account at all.

I don't know how I'm going to make it through the rest of the week, I feel sick, I feel like crying, I feel totally and utterly desperate. I just want to get into bed, pull the covers over my head and pretend my life doesn't exsist.

I'm afraid money does buy you happiness, or rather lack of it buys you a whole shit load of unhappiness

Money allows you to focus on the important things in life.
If your child has a disability it won't change that, if someone you love has terminal cancer it won't either.

What money does is allow you to concentrate your efforts; you are not side-lined with the worry of repossession or unpaid utility bills or an empty freezer. It may not change the root cause of your unhappiness but money stops some of the other harsh realities of life compounding it.

Money can't buy you happiness. It just can't or there would be a big queue of unhappy rich people waiting outside teh Happiness shop for it to open.

However It's really no fun being poor and miserable. Rich and miserable is better.

In my mind in order of preference:

Rich and happy
Poor and happy
Rich and miserable
Poor and miserable

People are rarely unhappy purely due to financial reasons.

Health is more important but if you are sick and poor
You are fucked

Having money would make things better for us - Just being able to go shopping and put good healthy things in the trolly - let the kids grab as much fruit and veg as they want / buy propper tasty meat / buy them new clothes - actuall clothes that no one else has worn before them.

Knowing i will deffintley have the petrol money to be able to drop off and collect DS's from nursery for the week - I have enough petrol to go and visit my disabled brother / my children can visit their cousins / i can visit my mums grave.

Enough money to pay the rent as well as having money left over to actually live rarther than spend each and every night on the sofa. fight with DH over silly things as we dont have anything else to do.

What i really would of liked was enough money to buy a nice new dress for my mums funeral / to get her the flowers she would have liked / to be able to get a picture of her printed and framed so the Dc's dont forget about her.

Money would make us happy, make life alot easier and more enjoyable.

Agreed MrsDeVere , very succinctly put too I might add!

Every one of my problems and stress and subsequent unhappiness is down to not having enough money.

If I had enough money to get myself out of debt, have some security, be mobile, not worry about every bill, have brilliant birthday parties, go on holiday (mummy, when can we go to the seaside?), buy new school shoes without a second thought, and have a social life I would be cackling with glee.
Because then I would be left with my health, family, and good looks (and modesty) and not a care in the world.

YANBU. People who say it can't buy happiness have never been so worried about money it keeps them awake nights.

I am happy apart from money. Most things that get me down comedown tomoney
Eg
Houses messy and dirty - money buys a cleaner
Bored - go oh. Or rent a DVD or afford a hobby
Small house with not enough storage - buy a bigger house
Car falling Apart - buy a new one
No clothes that look good on me - buy some new one
Being fat and demotivated - hire a personal trainer and memes ship to Health club

I have a lovely husband and 3 gorgeous healthy ish children so would have the building blocks of a happy life with money

Eldest is still not toilet trained at 5.5 and is being assessed for aspergers wich wouldn't magically go away if we had money but things could be made easier ie wouldn't have had to wait 12 months just for a referral etc. same with youngest who has burst eardrums every few weeks, but money would mean I could afford childcare to catch up on sleeP when he's been up screaming all night and would mean I didn't have to go to work on no sleeP etc

Money would mean I could set up my kids party business instead of having to go for the safe option of waitressing
Money wod mean not having to spend holidays. Outing how mug money we have spent and saying no all the time

znaika :( so so sorry to hear that

That is really awful znaika, and I am sorry too.
I don't think anyone really believes that money can take away real emotional pain. But many people are unhappy purely due to lack of money, because money buys so much freedom and peace of mind.
If you were still poor and bereaved it might be even worse?

[sigh]

NowThenWreck

That is simply not true. I, like znaika, grew up hungry poor. Ten people in a three bedroom house, free school meals, no new clothes at all ever, getting jumble sale school clothes etc.

I know exactly what being poor feels like. I still think that money can cure a thousand ills but it cannot, on it's own, make you happy.

I think Kewcumber said it best.

Actually I am going to apologise and bugger off.

I spend a lot of time in real life getting 'oh well, it's alright for you' stuff from people - as if having money means I don't get to be depressed or upset or find life really hard at times.
I am probably reading that in some of these posts and I can't be dispassionate about that in the middle of a shitty couple of weeks.

Apologies if I have seemed arsy.

No it doesn't make you happy.
The lovely lady who lost her beautiful girl a year after I lost mine was not comforted by her wealth. She is as grief stricken and bereft as me.
But she could at least choose when to go back to work after she lost her.
I was forced back way too early.
I would have liked that cushion of money to allow me extra time.
But happiness doesn't really come into it iyswim?

Money would certainly buy me happiness.

Not able to make that judgement for anyone else.

If money would genuinely buy you happiness, you must be very fortunate in every other area of your life.

I would say that actually makes you very lucky

Money doesn't necessarily buy happiness but it sure as hell makes being unhappy much easier to deal with.

The poor and happy myth is just that - a romantic ideal more suited to poetry than reality.

Poverty is relative but having enough to keep a roof over ones head, pay bills, buy food, clean water and medicine, and educate children is crucial.

Happiness is subjective, and personally I think somewhat over-rated. I think being content is far more important than being happy. One can't be happy all the time, but being content most of the time with lots of moments of happiness sounds pretty damn perfect to me.

Money makes many things easier. But it does not protect against sadness, tragedy and trauma.

i think that happiness does not increase exponentially with the amount of money you have. The utter misery and despair that you feel when you can't (or barely cover) the basics is very, very much eased when you can. The good feeling increases when you can afford a few luxuries - new clothes and a haircut when needed, a takeaway once a week, a meal out, a holiday even on top of that.

But beyond that I think it tapers off - it is your personal circumstances ie health, relationship, job, attitude etc that makes the difference. You can be rich and miserable.

I completely agree with what Pag says and I have experienced both, though I suspect not quite as poor as she was in childhood, and almost certainly not quite as rich now.

Day to day life is more fun with some money to throw around, undoubtedly, but the things that make you really happy are your relationships, your friendships, your health and that of your family, and peace of mind. You can have all the financial security in the world but it's not worth shit if you've not got those.

We have two sets of friends who both started off on level pegging with us, and who both became significantly more wealthy over a period of about 5 years. It would be so easy to look at their quite fabulous affluence and feel a bit envious as they sort of leave us lagging behind a bit, but I am not remotely envious of either of them. Why? They both have DCs the same age as mine, and they have had massive all-consuming, life-changing, devastating health issues with them. One almost died, and could succumb to cancer at any time again, and the other was diagnosed with a lifelong condition that will always blight her life in ways that no-one can compensate for.

I have seen what those two families have been through, witnessed their utter despair and hopelessness, and I can safely say that their money has been fairly useless at alleviating any of it. They can give their daughters everything, anything.... except the one thing they wish they could give. How could you possibly be envious of that?

So what you're all saying then is that the OP should be grateful for her current situation as she hasn't lost a DH/parent/child/had a child make a suicide attempt?

Low blows and not fair imo, talk about kicking someone when they're down!

re-read the OP how can anyone imagine being happy living like that - and how can anyone think that money wouldn't alleviate it?