to think money does buy you happiness

[poorasachurchmouse]

Whoever came up with the saying "money can't buy you happiness" obviously never lived without any.

I feel so desperate today, I'm currently living on £163 a week for a family of four due to a few changes in circumstances - Weekly income isn't £163 as some of that is paid monthly, usual weekly income is £118.

It's been a bit of a shock to the system but I'm just about managing. This week however the worst has happened.

Not only has dd gone on a residential trip which I had to finish paying for and give spending money for, I've had 2 bills taken out of the bank.

luckily I've probably got enough in the freezer to do meals til Monday(next payday) but no bread or potatoes and no Gas(prepayment meter)

I've just had to walk half an hour to the nearest cashpoint that doesn't charge £1.99, just so that I could have an extra tenner - but had to pay everything I withdrew into my current account to cover the direct debits. I've now no money left in my savings account at all.

I don't know how I'm going to make it through the rest of the week, I feel sick, I feel like crying, I feel totally and utterly desperate. I just want to get into bed, pull the covers over my head and pretend my life doesn't exsist.

I'm afraid money does buy you happiness, or rather lack of it buys you a whole shit load of unhappiness

Even if your money doesn't buy you happiness, it certainly makes misery far easier.
So money can't stop you being depressed, but it can pay for a private counsellor instead of a 2 year waiting list.
Money can't prevent children's disabilities, but it can pay for necessary equipment and help and all the rest, instead of struggling unable to do what your child needs you to.
So yes, even in bad times, money will buy you a certain amount of happiness by making everything easier, and knowing you have done what you can.

I can tell you that money would buy me a whole heap of happiness.

Snowboarder you have been through a rough time. But at times in my life where really awful things have happened, money has still been at the forefront of my mind if I didn't have any.

If a close relative is ill or dying, you want to be by their side. This is only possible if you can afford time off work, if the mortgage/rent will still be paid, if you can afford the travel.

I would give every penny I own to change some things that have happened, but I am aware that when bad things happen and money is not a pressing issue, it is easier to give yourself over to a situation and feel more in control. So money might not buy happiness, but it can buy control and stability which at times are worth their weight in gold.

Joan, can you explain how having more money than I do would have comforted me if dd had succeeded in her attempt at suicide? That would have to be quite some counsellor.

OP, aside from the title of your thread, if you are struggling you may be able to get help from a local church or salvation army, or food bank that give out food parcels.

Our town has just set one up, whihc our church donates to. they aim to provide 3 meals a day for 3 days, to help people who are really struggling - everything from unemployed singles struggling to cope outside the family home, to families under threat of losing their home due to sudden changes in circs - We live in a relatively affluent town in kent. there are still plenty of people -who for one reason or another are finding it a real struggle to make ends meet. That is what these charities are there for. There is no shame in asking for help when you need it, you can retuirn the favour when you are in a better place financially

now to your thread title - some of the richest people are also the most miserable, but yes, not having to worry about the basics in life is a good thing

Joan, you are mistaking not having to worry about happiness for being truly happy. They are not the same thing, not even close.

Also, there is a huge gap between being able to pay the bills without anxiety and being able to buy private healthcare or disability equipment.

I'm not "mistaking" anything. If you think you've come up with an objective definition of happiness that can't be different to different people, then well done because you've beaten thousands of years of philosophers.

How much money do you require to be happy?

Yes, money can buy you stuff but actually how many material items/ services do you actually need?

Is 25K, 50K or 100K or 1 Million pounds per year income required. Or does our greed take up whatever resources we have.

I think in the UK there is no breadline as such because of our benefits system. However the issue of relative poverty and social exclusion is real. (Ie. if the OP could not afford the residential trip and her dd was the only kid who couldn't go.)

Joan, can you explain how having more money than I do would have comforted me if dd had succeeded in her attempt at suicide?

Almost any bad thing that can happen can be made easier with money. When your parent dies and on top of that you can't afford a funeral, it makes it worse. So in that instance it wouldn't have "bought happiness" but it would have bought comfort, and lessen guilt, and lessen the hardship that came with it. All of which will get in the way of your future happiness.

Money makes everything easier. Easier generally means happier.

JoanOfNark

With respect that is guff.

Yes, our lives would be harder without money. Money reduces some of the negative effects of ds2s disabilities.
But suggesting that because I could buy equipment and get support, the extraordinary emotional toll of living with a child who is frightened and anxious and needs support almost constantly woukd disappear is simplistic at best.

That is exactly what I mean when I say that the idea that money solves all problems is damaging.

The idea that the tragedy of living with the knowledge that my son is unhappy and will never be independent, will be left alone when I die and faces extraordinary challenges in the meantime is somehow negated by having a few quid in the bank is crass.

If your child was hit by a car and emerged confused, unable to firm friendship and unable to live any kind of regular life would my giving you say a million quid make that better?

Poverty and any lack of money makes misery more likely.

But money cannot guarantee happiness.
Anyone who thinks it does is a fool

I didn't mean to sound flippant in my response, I appreciate having no money is shit - worse than shit actually. It removes all of your choices and makes life something to be endured (how can we get through today on £2?) rather than enjoyed.

I have been skint (growing up) and I have been relatively well off (now) and much much prefer the later. I can only imagine how it must feel to try and bring up a child or children whilst fearing that there is not enough money to feed and clothe them and give them a good life. I know only too well how lucky I am not to have those worries.

I do think though that tragedy or poor health makes you reevaluate what's truly important in your life and also makes you count your blessings for what you have. Being ill was awful, as was going through having a premature baby, but I no longer take a single thing for granted as a result.

Whoever said money buys good health is talking complete and utter bollocks though - cancer/ premature birth/ heart failure/ special needs/ mental health problems and a whole host of other illnesses and disabilities have no consideration for personal wealth. Perhaps generally there is a trend between good health/ a long life and wealth (ie better access to good nutrition etc if well off) BUT there is no guarantee.

If you say so, Joan. Personally I do not think I would have taken much comfort from a nice funeral for dd.

So you honestly think that you would still be happy, really properly happy just because you could afford holidays and nice experiences and good healthcare even if you still had a severely debilitating illness or a family member that did?

You would still be happy sitting on a few million even if your husband had cheated and left you, your friends had betrayed you and your family had all died?

There are two very different things being treated as the same here and they are not.

Having money reduces stress and makes being happier easier.

Money does buy you happiness.

The first is true.
The second is utter wank.

cory Although money would never lessen the grief of losing a daughter, imagine not being able to afford a funeral, or flowers. I have arranged funerals and I know that the guilt of not being able to hold a funeral, on top of what I had already gone through, would have been too much to bear.

So money can never buy happiness. It cannot protect you from awful things happening. But it can take away an extra added worry when life throws at you more than you can handle.

RE: thread title, It's just semantics - a way of starting this discussion. The last line of my OP really sums it up.

Yes I really would be happier if I had money I'm afraid. For those who don't agree - are you really trying to say that in my situation you'd be happy? Seriously?

It's absolutely soul destroying

Cory, I didn't say money fixes everything, did I?

Easier does not mean happier.

Have you ever heard of the hierarchy of needs

and people who say money can't buy happiness, generally either have enough, or they aren't doing it right.

I suppose that money might be able to pay for the best care possilble for Pagwatch's son. However Pagwatch's son will always struggle with happiness because the inablity to make friendships. Money can not buy you love or friendship.

Money helps over come practical problems, but not emotional problems.

Op

I have huge sympathy for your situation but honestly it is not semantics.

Yes money would remove your current problems and that would be obviously beyond fantastic.

But money simply cannot guarantee a life free from sadness and tragedy.

Money doesn't buy the ability to 'do it right' either.

Dd is not short of money, but she still wanted to die because her condition is painful and incurable. She takes the drugs that are available, she could have no other drugs if we had more money, because they simply don't exist. She has holidays and all the rest of it. She still felt life was hopeless.

OP, I have been in that situation and I know how hard it is. But I also know how much happier I was in those days- and wish I could go back there if I could only be rid of our present problems. Which does seem very harsh to say to you, but it's my reality.

But I do hope your situation gets easier. At least with money worries, there is some hope.

Like I said. Money does not guarantee happiness. Anyone who thinks it does is an idiot.

Whatever kind of life you have money always improves it.

Telling peopel money doesn't make you happy is a big fat lie to stop people rioting in the streets.

How many rich people do you see giving away their money?